I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime. %
ow does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. We became quite attached.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
If you can think of more, please tell me in a comment.