A couple of years ago I read with interest an article from Business Insider, 9 Signs You're a Problem Employee and Don't Even Know It, written by Richard Feloni, Aine Cain and Shana Lebowitz. They pointed out the following indicators: You're not punctual, You constantly make excuses, You do the bare minimum, You love to gossip, You're convinced you're smarter than everyone else, You're noticeably less productive than your colleagues, You don’t believe in your company’s mission or values, You don't get along with anyone and You’re always looking for a way out.

As usual, this list only scratches the surface. As a public service I provide more signs that you’re a problem employee:
You don’t have a key to the employee’s bathroom.
All your co-workers have restraining orders against you.
Your boss won’t let you cook meth in the breakroom.
All your co-workers hide their pens from you.
Your favorite food is no longer served in the company cafeteria.
Your co-workers unfriend you on the company internet and block you on the interoffice email system.
Your boss now calls you “Stupid.”
You’re the only employee without a designated parking space.
​
If you see these subtle signs, take the hint and straighten up. 

I read with interest an article from Prevention written by Korin Miller (12/31/2018), Relationship Therapists Say There Are 12 Signs You've Found Your Perfect Partner. The article mentioned that deep down that they’re right for you, the timing is right, you feel incredibly comfortable together. It went on to talk about emotions, happiness, respect, having a lot to say to each other, love, values, blah, blah, blah. As usual, this list only scratches the surface.

​As a public service I provide more signs that you’ve found your perfect partner:
Your partner starts listening to love songs.
Your partner friends you on Face Book and Twitter.
Your partner deletes his/her profile on Tinder.
Your partner changes her/her relationship to “committed.”
Your partner likes the same illegal drugs that you like.
Your partner’s willing to provide an alibi when questioned by the police.
Your partner remembers your safe word.
Your partner tells you all his/her passwords.
Your partner likes to wear your underwear.
 
These are sure sign that this one is a keeper.

A couple of years ago, I read with interest an article by littlezotz.com (First Edition Design Publishing) about how writers sometime sabotage their own writing. The article included: Not preparing an outline, getting deadlines wrong, trying to do everything in the first draft and celebrating too early.

On reflection, I decided there’re many more ways writers sabotage their writing careers. As a public service to all writers, I list some of them here:
All your work is obviously plagiarized.
You call your agent an ass-**le.
You refuse to write on any day of the week that has a D in it.
You write in a language that you invented.
You firmly believe that rules are meant to be broken, especially grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
You’re using invisible ink.
Readers must use a decoder ring to read your writing.
You’re using Snapchat to publish your writing.
You can’t meet your goal of 25 words per day.
You write in a genre no one ever heard of.
​
I hope by identifying these self-destructive habits I have helped writers everywhere.

Let me run this by you. I’ve been thinking recently about writing a novel about an FBI agent who is a robot with independent artificial intelligence (AI) embedded. It would take place in the near future.

Some plot parameters:

1. Robots with AI can act and make decisions independently.
2. They are owned by whoever paid for their creation. They are expensive to build.
3. They have no emotions (feelings).
4. They can link with the internet from almost everywhere and communicate with each other telepathically.
5. They have no gender.
6. Nearly all work in high tech or research jobs. Most are owned by the government.
7. They are programed not to injure or kill humans. It’s illegal to weapons an AI robot. They carry no weapons.
8. There is great bias against robots and AI particularly.

Special Agent Dent is the first AI robot allowed to work outside a forensics lab for the FBI. He is assigned to the Mexican Cartel Task Force. He has a human partner in case there’s any shooting required. Dent has a secret desire to become more human (Pinocchio?). His partner is trying to overcome his own bias to understand AI robots. As the story develops, Dent falls in love (an impossibility for a robot) with another robot.

What do you think? Would you read it?

Have you ever noticed on your news feed when a beautiful woman’s picture appears above the caption that says she “stuns” in a bikini or bathing suit that if you click on it, there’s no picture of her? You got it—Click Bait. It works. Maybe I’m just a pervert, but I fall for it every time. Enough. I will no longer fall for click bait.

However, you must admit it’s a good way to get readers to open the article. I guess the writers are paid by the number of people who click on the posting, whether they read it or not.
Sometimes the articles are really ads for bikinis. When you scroll down you see several pictures of bikinis with no one wearing them.

It's not just men who get suckered in by click bait. You’ve all seen those leads that say some handsome dude is bearing his abs. The only difference is they actually post a picture of some guy bearing his abs.
​
Well, I want people to read my blog where I post humor articles (like this one). Spoiler Alert! I will never pose in a any type of bathing suit. I’m going to give click bait a try. I hope you aren’t too disappointed. Just for the record, I am stunning in a bathing suit, just not in a good way.

Taking a selfie can be dangerous. A 2018 study of news reports showed that between October 2011 to November 2017, there were 259 selfie deaths in 137 incidents reported globally, with the highest occurrences in India followed by Russia, United States, and Pakistan.

Five passengers aboard a sightseeing helicopter (with doors off) drowned after a passenger allegedly tried to take a 'shoe selfie', leading to the passenger's safety tether getting caught in the emergency fuel shutoff lever. A shoe selfie is when the person's shoes can be seen while looking out of the open doorway of a helicopter.

An Indian couple fell to their deaths from Taft Point at Yosemite National Park.

In Italy, A 22-year-old YouTuber from Denmark died after falling 200 meters from Forcella di Pana while he was recording for his channel.

A California woman slipped and fell to her death while taking selfies at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore on Michigan's Upper Peninsula, according to National Park Service officials.

Multiple tourists in Yellowstone National Park have been gored by bison when they’ve gotten too close for a photo.
​
And that, my followers, is why I don’t do selfies. (That and because I’m ugly.) Of course, there's all the people arrested after taking selfies inside the capital on January 6.

I have Writer’s Block (or is it Writers’ Block). At least, I think I do. I’m not sure what Writer’s Block is. On the surface, it implies that an author (writer?) is trying to think of something to write or to extend a partially written story and is drawing a blank. I can buy into that. It’s an honorable excuse for just being lazy. The truth is I can think of lots of things to write about, even on my current work in progress (WIP). I just don’t sit down and do it.

When I tell people I have “Writer’s Block” they nod their collective heads knowingly without a clue what that means or entails. Writers are unique in having a readymade excuse for not doing something that fits their job description. No one says they have “Housework Block’ or ‘Taxis Driver Block’, or even “CEO Block”. Those that do are just called “lazy”, unproductive, or even unsuccessful.  Yet writers get away with the mere mention of “Writer’s Block”.

Maybe we need to redefine the term “Writer’s Block.” Perhaps if you’re trying to write a novel but you can think only of short stories, you have “Novel Block”. Are visa versa, you could have “Short Story Block”. If you lack any creative ideas for a story, you may have “Creativity Block”. The truth is, I think I’m just plain lazy.

Maybe there are different levels or degrees of Writer’s Block, like murder charges or burns:

Writers’ Block --First Degree; This the worst level of Writer’s Block. You can’t seem to get the creative juices flowing again (assuming they ever did). You stare at a blank screen (no one uses paper anymore) and you have nothing. You haven’t had a creative thought or a good idea in over a year. You haven’t used your computer in so long you’ve forgotten your PIN and password. You’ve forgotten the working title of your latest manuscript. You can’t remember the name of your protagonist. You’ve gained 25 pounds. You forgot where you put your wireless printer.

Writers’ Block --Second Degree; You have a plot, and you have some characters, but you still have no story. You don’t know what comes next. You write words out of order, and you don’t know the correct order. You haven’t had a creative thought or a good idea in over a month. You’re so bored that you even called your mother. You can’t even write a short story of under 5000 words. You’ve gained ten pounds. You forgot to buy paper for your printer.

Writers’ Block --Third Degree. You’re just stuck. You can’t remember how to spell a word, or you can’t even think of the word you need. You haven’t had a creative thought or a good idea in over a week. You’ve checked all your e-mails—twice. You’ve read everything on your newsfeeds-- twice. You’ve even talked to your significant other—for an hour. You can’t even write short short stories of less than 100 words. You started a new diet—three times.

Writers’ Block --Forth Degree. You had an idea, but then lost it by the time you got to your computer. You haven’t had another creative thought or a good idea all day. You can’t think of a word you need to finish a sentence. You ran out of coffee. Your printer has started to gather dust. You ate all the leftovers.
​
Perhaps this is a better way to classify the types of “Writer’Block”.  Using these definitions, I must have Third Degree Writer’s Block. Good luck to you others with Writer’s Block. I wish you well.

​
I read with interest an article about a book, Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact, by Nick Morgan. He talked about all the fake listening that people do while they act as if they are listening to you. He listed seven:
1. Their eye contact is too fixed, and their heads are too still.
2. They smile too brightly and for too long.
3. They tap their fingers.
4. They fidget.
5. Their body is turned away from you.
6 Their feet are pointed towards the door.
7. They don't mirror your body language.

This got me to thinking about other subtle ways you can tell people are not listening to you. Here are ten more:
1. They fall asleep. This is a dead giveaway. Especially if they snore.
2. They don’t notice when you stop talking.
3. You ask them a question and they just nod their heads.
4. They tell you in English that they don’t speak English.
5. They wave a crucifix and a strand of garlic at you and attempt to drive a stake into your heart.
6. They let their dog pee on your shoes.
7. They put coins into your coffee cup and walk away.
8. They hold up a lapel pin and ask you to speak into it.
9. They steal your watch and wallet.
10. They fake a heart attack, so they don’t have to listen to you.
​
If you notice any of these signs, bet your bottom dollar, your audience isn’t listening. 

Currently, many politicians are throwing their hats into the ring to run for POTUS in 2022, Yet, every day there’s a new revelation about one politician or another about something in their past. I believe the problem is that there isn’t an application for candidates to complete before they’re allowed to run for office. Applications are required for jobs, college, driver licenses, etc. Why isn’t there an application requirement for candidates? The entire situation cries out for one.
 
As a community service I offer up a draft application that could be adopted for candidates wishing to run for office.
 
Of course, there’s the normal heading. Then come the following questions:
 
1.Please indicate the party you wish to represent. (Select all that apply)
      ___Democratic Party              ___Republican Party              ___Independent Party
      ___Socialist Party                   ___Communist Party              ___Green Party
      ___Constitution Party             ___Libertarian Party               ___Nazi Party
      ___Federalist Party                 ___Bachelor Party                  ___Other(s) _________
 
2.Have you ever been convicted of a crime? ___Yes   ___No  ___Not Yet   ___Pending
     a.What crime(s) ________________
 
3.Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
___Once          ___Twice        ___Three or more       ___Not yet
 
4.Are you a racist? ___Yes        ___No              ___Not Yet  
     a.Which race(s) do you hate? _____________
 
5.Have you ever smoked marijuana?  ___Yes              ___No              ___Not Yet
     a.Did you inhale?  ___Yes      ___No               ___ Maybe       ___Not Sure  
 
6.Have you ever used illegal drugs? ___Yes    ___No  ___Not Yet ___Not sure ___Maybe
 
7.Have you ever taken selfies: (check all that apply)
___ Nude ___ Partially nude ___Just my genitalia ___Wearing a racist costume
___ Having sex ___Drinking ___All of the above ___None of the above
 
8.Did you ever sext? ___Yes     ___No  ___Not Yet ___Not sure ___Maybe
 
9.How would you declare your sexual orientation? (check all that apply)
___Male  ___Female ___Transgender ___ Gay  ___ Not sure ___Other(s)

10.Are you ethical? ___Yes ___No ___Sometimes  ___Depends ___Never ___Always
 
11.How would you describe your political orientation? (Check all that apply)
___ Right                  ___ Left               ___Center             ___ Left of Center
___ Right of Center  ___ Center of Center ___Top of Center ___Bottom Feeder
___Left out               ____ Right on

12. How would you describe your financial position? (Check all that Apply) ___ Top 1%          ___Bottom 1%         ___Upper Class       ___Low Class
      ___Middle Class   ___ No Class           ___Upper Middle Class
      ___Lower Middle Class          ___ Lower Upper Class          ___Upper Low Class
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Sensitivity Training for Governor Andrew Cuomo? Maybe.
 
It has been reported that Governor Cuomo underwent Sensitivity Training at one point during his tenor. I’ve been able to obtain a copy of the curriculum from an unreliable and questionable source. The program was called Bogus and Unauthentic Legalized Larceny and Spurious Hypocritical Intense Therapy (BULL SH*T) and was used is used through the country to help politicians keep their reputations and office. This intense therapy was intended to last for one week. Below is a copy of the curriculum. Enjoy!
 
Sunday Optional Mixer
Join us in a mixer for all attendees Sunday night at 7 PM until? Meet the instructors and fellow politicians who have fallen from grace. Open bar and free #marijuana tasting (not yet available in all states).
 
Monday SessionJoin us in a mixer for all attendees Sunday night at 7 PM until? Meet the instructors and fellow politicians who have fallen from grace. Open bar and free #marijuana tasting (not yet available in all states).
Tuesdays Session
Political Ethics—A Thing of the Past? With special guest instructor ex-President Donald #Trump and Ex-Republican nominee for Senate in Alabama, Roy Moore.
 
Wednesday Sessions
Cheating on your wife 101. Learn how to hide the truth from your current wife. With special guest instructor ex-President Donald Trump. Learn how to hide illegitimate children from expert Arnold #Schwarzenegger, ex-Governor of California.
 
Thursday Session
How to Lie to Congress and Grand Juries. Panel discussion with Trump's ex-lawyer Michael Cohen and Trump’s former campaign chairman Paul Manafort.
 
Friday Sessions
Yes, You Can Be Re-instated. Instructor--# Rudolph W. Giuliani.
Afternoon Session--How to Publicly Apologize and Look Sincere. Enjoy a panel discussion with panelists Roseanne Barr, Kevin Spacey and #Bill Clinton.
 
Closing Ceremony: Graduation ceremony for those who have not dropped out of the program, not under a gag order or indicted.