Those of you who follows my blogs probably know I’ve been using a free website offered by Weebly.com. Recently, Weebly informed me they will no longer continue letting me post my blog for free. I don’t yet know how much they want to charge under one of their other plans, but I don’t want to pay anything. I’m retired, so I don’t have spare change to spend on my blog, nor am I using my blog to earn money. I don’t have many followers and very few visitors. So, this will be my last post on Weebly.com.

To those who have faithfully followed my blog, monteranderson-author.com, I’m sorry. I invite to follow my other blog, monteranderson.wordpress.com. I’ll use it until they start charging me.

I’ll continue to post my blog on Linked In at linkin.com/in/monteranderson, if you want to continue to follow me.

I will continue to post my Wisdom from and Old Man on Twitter, Facebook and other social media.
Thanks for following me. Live long and prosper.
​
Monte

A few years ago, I read with interest an article on Google+ from the Resume Writer for You community titled, “Things you should never say to your boss.” They listed the following:

1. I want a raise.
2. It’s not my problem.
3. I don’t do over time.
4. I don’t know.
5. I can’t work with…

 
I retired in 2011 after two careers and working most of life, and I can say that that list isn’t even close to what you shouldn’t say or ask your boss.

​Here’s my list of what you should never, ever ask your boss:

1. Ask for a date,
2. Ask if it’s okay to bring your AK47 to work so you can clean it during your lunch break.
3. Ask if the boss is happy with the current drug dealer.
4. Ask if you can use the copy machine for pornography.
5. Ask if you should respond to the Nigerian financial opportunity.
6. Ask if you come in late, can you go home early.
7. Ask if it’s okay to have a clothing optional day.
8. Ask how old the boss’ daughter (or son) is.
9. Ask if the boss is using birth control.
10. Ask if that is the boss’ real hair.

In addition, you should never tell your boss that he’s an idiot or his ideas are stupid.
I hope this will help you get along with your boss in the workplace.

I thought today I would debunk all the various #myths about butts (asses):
1. Some people have their “head up their ass.” Not true. You can try this at home. No way will your head fit up your butt or anyone else’s butt. It’s intended to mean that some people cann’t see something right in front of them or they are stupid.
2. Some things are “half assed.” Okay, this one’s true. People can live with half an ass just like they can with half a brain. Of course, they must be careful not to fall into the toilet. In some cases, surgeons might remove half an ass. In normal cases, individuals have been known to lose half their ass on a diet or gambling, unless the ass is like a donkey.
3. People may say that they “lost their ass” in an investment or gambling. Not true. No one would want to accept an ass as an investment or a wager. 
4. It is possible to get an “ass chewing.” Okay, this one is true too but not the way you think. While it is possible to eat an ass, it is not recommended except in extreme circumstances. However, in the case of consenting adults in the privacy of their bedroom, some ass chewing may occur.
5. Some people are “butt heads” or “ass holes.” Not true - heads and butts are not interchangeable parts in spite of what some surgeons might say. The butt has no brain. Stupid people should correctly be called “brain dead”, “clueless” or “thoughtless” but “butt head” or “ass hole” is simply not correct. While it’s possible to “butt heads” (note the use of “butt” as a verb) with someone, that is an entirely different thing and usually ends in one of the parties being injured or fired.
6. It is possible to “kick ass” or “kick butt.” This is true. This phenomenon happens often in professional sports. It shouldn’t be taken literally, but sometimes people do need a swift kick in the pants.
7. Some people are “ass kissers” or “brown nosers.” This one is also true but not in the way most people think. The common misperception is that it applies to a worker who kisses up to the boss. It would be rare if there was any real “ass kissing” taking place. Real “ass kissing” takes in the bedroom between consenting adults (read #4, reference “ass chewing” above). “Brown nosers” are really “ass kissers” who have gone too deep or missed the mark.
 
I hope this helps everyone to clear up the misconceptions and myths about butts.
 
$$$

A few years ago, I read with interest an article by Cari Wira Dineen for Prevention, “5 Signs Your Marriage Isn't As Strong As You Think It Is.” Cari listed these signs:

• Your spouse is not your go-to person anymore.
• You're overly focused on yourself.
• You're comparing your partner to others—and not in a good way.
• You're not fighting, but you're not loving either.
• You're leading separate lives.

 
In my opinion, these signs aren’t even close. Here is my list of subtle signs your marriage isn't as strong as you think it is:

1. You don’t cook meth together anymore.
2. You don’t provide each other an alibi when questioned by the police.
3. Your significant other refuses to remember your safe word.
4. Your significant other ran off with your best friend.
5. You unfriended each other on social media.
6. Your significant other opened a separate bank account and won’t share the information with you.
7. You don’t remember each other’s first names.
8. Your significant other says she won’t pimp for you anymore.
9. You don’t wear each other’s underwear anymore.
10. You have mutual restraining orders against each other.

 
If you notice any of these subtle signs, you better believe the marriage isn’t working.A

I’m departing from my usual humorous blog today to share some things I learned about dieting.

I recently lost some more weight. Since 2011 I have lost over 100 pounds. At one time, in 2011 when I lost my job, I weighed in over 300 pounds. About the same time, I received a letter from the VA stating I am official obese. I used to request a seat belt extension when I flew. I could sit in some seats. I was embarrassed. Now I’m at 225 pounds. My blood sugar is under control, and I feel fine. 200 pounds might be better for me. That’ll be my next goal.

I want to share what I learned along the way in hope it might help others:

You do not have to clean your plate. If you are a boomer, cleaning your plate was drilled into you. You do not have to clean your plate. There are no starving kids in China or whatever your parents told you to make you clean your plate.

You don’t have to be the “clean up man” or “garbage disposal.” You know, the person who finishes everyone else’s food. That includes kids. If someone asks. “Do you want my whatever…?” Just say “no.”

You don’t have to have desert after every meal. Growing up, we always had a desert after lunch and supper. You may have been taught that if you want desert, you must clean off your plate. Skip the deserts.

You don’t need a special diet to lose weight. If you eat less, you will lose weight. I’m a Type II diabetic, so I watch my blood sugar. It took a while, but I now have my blood sugar under control. I don’t count calories, but I do count carbs. I don’t weigh my food or follow a particular diet. I try to eat healthy meals. I believe each person must find what works for them. There’s not “one diet fits all.”

Everyone has a tipping point. A tipping point is the point at which a series of small changes or incidents becomes significant enough to cause a larger, more important change. Through trial and error, I discovered my tipping point. I think it’s important to know that. I know if I eat three meals a day, I will gain weight. If I eat two meals and a snack, I will stay the same weight. To lose weight, I must eat just two meals, no snack. You just need to adjust your food intake until you find it.

It’s okay to weigh yourself every day. Some diet say not to weigh yourself every day, because it just upsets you. BS. I don’t get upset. Starting my day by weighing myself works for me. If I don’t, I gain weight. If weigh yourself every day would upset you, don’t weigh yourself every day.

You never have to eat things you don’t like. You can stop eating when you are full or no longer hungry. It’s okay to stop eating once you aren’t hungry anymore.

I don’t add salt to my food. I count carbs, not calories. I don’t weigh my food. I don’t eat things I don’t like. I weigh myself daily. I try not to drink sodas or sweet drinks. I stopped adding sweetener to my drinks and coffee.

Don’t take dieting advice from fat people. In fact, don’t take any advice about dieting. Find what works for you and stick with it.

Your weight will vary daily. It goes up and down. Don’t sweat it. Stick with it. You’re in it for the long haul.

I hope this helps someone to lose weight.

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
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A few years ago, I read with interest and article from Best Life, The Definitive Profile an Unfaithful Wife. Talked about a report from Indiana University and a study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationships Therapy. They list some signs that your wife might be cheating on you. In my opinion, they weren’t even close.

​Here is my list of subtle signs that your wife may be cheating on you:

1. Your wife comes home wearing another man’s underwear.
2. She smells like Old Spice.
3. There’s a note on the refrigerator that she wrote saying she’s leaving you for your best friend (not the dog).
4. You find a man in your closet or under the bed.
5. She starts listening to cheating songs.
6. She unfriends you on Face Book.
7. You discover she’s using Tinder to find guys.
8. She calls you by someone else’s name during sex.
9. There’re cigarette butts in an ash tray, but neither of you smoke.
10. Your kids keep asking when Uncle Joe is coming back, and you don’t know anyone named Joe.
11. You find condoms in her purse, and you had a vasectomy years ago.
12.  You catch her sexting with a stranger.

If you see any of these subtle signs, your wife is cheating on you.

A Bird Hit My Windshield
​
I had a horrible experience a couple of days ago. It was one of those days with mixed rain and sleet. I was driving along downtown when suddenly, a bird crashed into my windshield. It hit so hard I thought it was going to crash through. I ducked for a second, and when I straightened up, I saw it was a big black bird or a crow. It was stuck to my windshield. Its wet feathers had frozen to the glass, but it was still alive – flapping its wings desperately trying to get free. I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe if I turned on my wipers, it could break free. When I did, it did break free, but flew directly into the windshield of the car behind me which happened to be a police car. To make matters worse, the cop pulled me over and gave me a ticket.
He said I flipped him the bird. 

Let’s face facts; we have problems that need to be solved. Homelessness is one such problem. Usually, the solutions put forth by politicians are so complex no one can understand them, let alone implement them. Politicians think to be acceptable a solution must be complex. Not true. Sometimes the right solution is simple and maybe even counter intuitive or hard to implement. Two of the causes for homelessness are lack of shelter or housing and unemployment for the homeless.

582,462 individuals are experiencing homelessness in America, an increase of about 2,000 people since the last complete census conducted in 2020. About 30 percent of people without homes are experiencing chronic patterns of homelessness.

Employment: Here are some ideas for employment for the homeless:

1. Rent a Zombie for a Day. Volunteer makeup artists make the homeless look like zombies who then hire out by the hour or day for parties.
2. Tour a Zombie Zone. Areas where homeless congregate could be turned into zombie zones for tour buses. Again, volunteer makeup artists would be needed.
3. Rent a Boyfriend/Girlfriend. People could hire a homeless person as a boyfriend or girlfriend to make parents shut up about finding someone and stop trying to set up dates.
4. Rent a Plus One. No one needs to go single to another wedding or party when they can rent a homeless person. Veterans would cost extra (12% of all homeless adults are vets).
5. Rent a Snitch. Police could pay homeless people for leads. They could supply them with body cams to catch criminals.
6. Rent a Vote. Politicians could hire homeless to vote. They could even be bused into Massachusetts.
7. Rent a Homeless Person to Impress Your Friends (vets cost extra). People could hire a homeless person to impress their friends or to impress college admittance boards.
8. Rent a Protester. Political activists could hire homeless people to swell the ranks of protesters. They could even hire them as counter protesters for staged confrontation to ensure making the evening news.
9. Trash Pick-up. Homeless people already pick up aluminum cans and copper for cash from recycle yards. If cities would offer a flat rate for trash – say one dollar a pound – the homeless could keep parks and roads clean.
10. Rent a Passenger. People who live in big cities sometimes need a passenger so they can use the High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) lane. Pick up a homeless person for a passenger.  
    Cost will vary by distance.
11. Rent a Line Up. Police always need warm bodies for police line ups. Why not hire homeless persons?
12. Save a Parking Space. Often when people want to attend a popular sporting or entertainment event, they can’t find a parking spot. Homeless people will camp out on a parking spot and save it for a fee.
13. Save a Place in Line. Sometime people would like to go shopping on Black Friday or buy tickets to a popular event but hate to stand in line. Rent a homeless person to camp out in line to save a space.
14. References. Need references for your resume or job application? Hire homeless references.  
15. Extras for Zombie or Disaster Movies. Zombie or disaster movies need lots of extras. Homeless people could fill the need, Zombie movies will require some make up but homeless people are ready made for disaster movies. Standard pay is $50 per day plus lunch.

 
Shelter: Here are some ideas for shelter for the homeless:

1. The simplest solution to the homeless problem is for people with homes adopt a homeless person. There are 43.7 M residences in the US. That’s 77+ homes for each homeless person. Done deal–except no wants to adopt a homeless person.
2. Another solution would be to use vacant houses or building as shelters for homeless. According to Amnesty International USA, vacant houses outnumber homeless people by five times. Some charities have bought buildings to develop into housing for the homeless.
3. Cities could also allow homeless people to live in their car, if they have a car, in city owned parking lots.
4. Certain cities could allow homeless to camp out in small tents on city property.
5. Here are some ideas for shelters:
   1. Dumpsters – A dumpster turned on its side with the covers propped open makes a nice home with a porch.
   2. Shipping containers make an even larger shelter.
   3. The cardboard from two or three mattress boxes can be made into a shelter. A little plastic, and it’s water proof.
   4. Over passes often have unused space under them that can be converted into shelters.
   5. Let’s not forget using empty jails cells. Jails would provide free meals.

 
Of course, there’re other serious issues concerning the homeless, but shelters and employment are high on the list. Causes of homelessness in the US include, but are not limited to lawful eviction, PTSD, mental health, natural disasters, drug abuse, gambling, and low-paying jobs.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: To the humorously challenged, this is a satire. I think.
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

Let’s face facts; we have problems that need to be solved. Wealth inequality is one such problem. Only the top 10% of Americans are seeing their wealth grow while the rest get less and less wealth. Everyone is aware of this national problem. Here are more statistics:
The gap between the top 10% and the middle class is over 1,000%; that increases another 1,000% for the top 1%. Per PolitiFact and others, in 2011 the 400 wealthiest Americans "have more wealth than half of all Americans combined."

Usually, the solutions put forth by politicians are so complex no one can understand them, let alone implement them. Politicians think to be acceptable; a solution must be complex. Not true. Sometimes the right solution is simple and maybe even counter intuitive or hard to implement.
Most people think that it can be solved by taxing the rich and giving to the poor through tax breaks. Yeah, right. It hasn’t worked yet. I will attempt to point out the obvious and simple solution to wealth inequality. The problem is excessive profits, excessive inheritance, excessive wealth and excessive salaries. Note the word “excessive”.

Excessive Profits: Consumers pay too much for products and services that provide excess profits to the rich. There should be better transparency on the real cost of products and services. We already have labels for nutrition and the country where the product is made. I propose adding more information to the label. Here are the items that should be placed on a label on all products and disclosed for all services:

• The actual percent of the cost that is contributed toward profit. If we knew this, most of us would not purchase anything with excessive mark up. I think 10% or less is a fair profit.
• The salaries of the CEO, the Chairman of the Board, the CFO and the salary of the lowest paid employee. It must include all the perks, stock options and golden parachutes.
• The percentage of the product or service that is from outside of the US. Many of us will buy American is we know the [product is made in America.

 
Excessive Inheritance: We all know people who are born with a “silver spoon” in their mouth. It gives them a substantial head start in life with access to the best education and employment. The rich just keep getting richer and so do their kids. According to the Institute for Policy Studies, "over 60 percent" of the Forbes richest 400 Americans "grew up in substantial privilege".
I propose that the government establish limits on inheritance. No one should inherit more than $1M. Anything above that goes to the government.

Excessive Wealth: The media reported that the top wealthiest 1% possess 40% of the nation’s wealth; the bottom 80% own only 7%. That’s not right. I propose that the government establish limits on wealth. No one have more wealth than established by the government. Pick a number. I think $10M is a good number. Anything above that goes to the government.

Excessive Income and Salaries: The media reported, the "richest 1% in the US now have more additional income than the bottom 90%". The media goes on to say that the average employee "needs to work more than a month to earn what a CEO earns in one hour.” That’s not right.

• I propose that the government establish a ratio between the salary of the CEO and the lowest paid employee. It must include all the perks, stock options and golden parachutes. Pick a number. I think 300 to 1 is a good ratio.
• If the CEO gets a raise, everyone must get a raise.
• All for-profit companies must have profit sharing.

 
This won’t solve the inequality, but it’s a start.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: To the humorously challenged, this is a satire. I think.
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

I read with interest an item on my newsfeed (Life Style) from Brides Magazine, “The 7 Phrases That Are Ruining Your Relationship.” Now I’ve been married twice, so I speak from experience when I say, “Not even close.” The article listed these phases:
1. "I'm sorry, but ..." There’s always a “but” isn’t there?
2. "Yeah? Well, you ..." We men know our only defense is to say, “I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.”
3. "You always ..."
4. "I'm fine."
5. "I told you ..."
6. "You're just like ..."
7. "You're overreacting."
All true but not all that damaging. Here are the other phrase/sentences, based on my experience, that will ruin your relationship:

1. If you’re a man – “I think your best friend/mother/daughter is hot.” For a woman – “I think your best friend/father/son is hot.”
2. “Can I wear your panties and bra?”
3. “I think the condoms I used have been recalled.”
4. “The voices in your head are starting to annoy me.”
5. “Have you seen my pet cobra?”
6. “Did you take my pipe bombs?”
7. “My coffee tastes like antifreeze.”
8. “Let’s play Russian Roulette.”
9. “My parole officer would like to meet you.”
10. “Did I mention that my divorce isn’t final yet?”

 
Trust me – these comments will sabotage your relationship.
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
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​