#​I read with interest “Ten Things to Add to Your Resume -- And Ten to Remove Immediately” by Liz Ryan, a contributor to Forbes (9/11/2017). She mentioned “Corporate Zombie Speak”, a term I never saw before but understood immediately. (I checked it out and it’s a real thing.) She mentioned adding things like a powerful summary, full sentences, an explanation for every job change, framing statement for every employer, and framing statement for every role, dragon-slaying stories and your human voice (is there another kind?). All good advice. She said to remove things like your street address, inappropriate email addresses, tasks and duties, praising adjectives, endless bullets, old irrelevant jobs and formatting. Also good advice. She explains her rationale. Most of these reflect the changing times. Of course, she left out a few things.
 
As a public service, I will list some things to take out of your resume:
1.      Remove your fraternity or #sorority. There are basically two types of fraternities; those who have done something publicly offensive and those who haven't...yet. It would be best not to admit to being a member until after you're hired. Even after you get the job, you may not want to confess.
2.      When listing skills, remember #sexting isn’t a skill unless you are applying for a position in the porn industry. Also, while making pipe bombs is certainly a skill, you may want to keep that secret. Drinking beer while standing on your head isn’t a skill you should list. That also goes for stalking, coloring, field stripping an AK47, shooting an RPG, breaking and entering, cooking meth and picking locks.  
3.      Remove references who are still in prison or pending trial. It’s best to wait until they’re out on bail. Don’t list your parole officer as a reference. Same goes for your Drugs Anonymous sponsor.
4.      Remove your Face Book page unless you have sanitized it.
5.      Remove any family as references unless you still have copies of photographs you can use for blackmail.
6.      It may be too soon to list #Trump University under Education. Remove that.
7.      Don’t try to convince anyone that the 4 – 7-year gap in your work summary was a vacation.
8.      Don’t misspell the name of the university you claim to have attended.
9.      Don’t try to be clever in your email address, i.e. buttkicker@whatever.com.
10.  You probably should remove the jobs you had in prison.
 
Hopefully, these pointers will help you clean up your resume and get a job.

I copied this message from the VFW web page (VFW.org).

June 14 is Flag Day and the US Army’s 243rd birthday. The 1.7 million-member Veterans of Foreign Wars of the U.S. and its Auxiliary extends a happy birthday to all soldiers past and present, and to their families, too. You selflessly and faithfully protect the flag of a country you helped to create. You march behind it, been buried under it, and wear it proudly as you continue to protect and secure our nation and allies from tyranny and evil.
​
Happy Birthday, Army. Hooah!
​

I read with interest an article on my news feed written by Jenny Stanley, 5/7/2018, “10 Things Your Neighbor Will Never Tell You.” He listed these things:
We Have Horrible Taste
We/re stealing your Wi-fi
We Have Bed Bugs
We can see inside your house at night.
Our Birdbath is a Breeding Ground for Mosquitoes
Our shed is actually on your property
We Don't Like Yard Maintenance
We fight loud
Our Dog Pees in Your Yard
We have a termite problem
 
Of course, these are issues, but I think the list is incomplete. Here are ten more things your neighbors won’t tell you:

1.       They are registered sex offenders.
2.       They are the ones who have been swatting you, so a SWAT team shows up at your front door.
3.       They cook meth and sell drugs.
4.       They like to spy on you through your bedroom window which opposite theirs.
5.       They buried a body in your back yard.
6.       They tell the other neighbors that you are on parole.
7.       They tell their kids to beat up your kids.
8.       They stole your identity.
9.       They call the fire company whenever you start to barbeque.
10.       They fly a drone over your back yard whenever you sun bath there.

 
Of course, if you confront your neighbors, they’ll deny everything. You just have to vigilant.

I read with interest an article on my news feed (on my i-phone), “9 Things You Should Do Before Having Sex”. It was by Jenna Birch in Huffpost. I guess we all could use a checklist. She listed these nine things:
Hint at sex before you have it. (well duh)
Have condoms ready.
Stash lube by your bedside.
Consider the details.
Stimulate your brain.
Make a to-do list and put it away.
Do one thing that makes you feel sexier.
Take a few deep breaths.
Start off slow.

Well I’m no great lover, but I can see that Jenna omitted several things that must be done before sex. Here’s my list of additional things to do before sex:
​
Find a partner (or partners), preferably of the same species.
All parties must sign a consent form.
Agree on a safe word.
Make sure all the sex toys are clean and have operating batteries.
Make sure all tie downs, chains, handcuffs, gags, blindfold, etc. are in good shape.
Agree on a place for sex (bed, couch, rug, kitchen table, desk, park, etc.)
Sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) if appropriate.
Make sure your partner’s husband, wife, and/or kids are not home.
Agree on which recreational drug to use.
Make sure the video equipment is operational.
​
​If you use this checklist, your sexual experience is sure to be great.

I read with interest an article by Cari Wira Dineen for Prevention, “5 Signs Your Marriage Isn't As Strong As You Think It Is.” Cari listed these signs:
Your spouse is not your go-to person anymore.
You're overly focused on yourself.
You're comparing your partner to others—and not in a good way.
You're not fighting, but you're not loving either.You're leading separate lives.
In my opinion, these signs aren’t even close. Here is my list of subtle signs your relationship isn't as strong as you think it is:
1.      You don’t cook meth together any more.
2.      You don’t provide each other an alibi when questioned by the police.
3.      Your significant other refuses to remember your safe word.
4.      Your significant other ran off with your best friend.
5.      You unfriended each other on Face Book.
6.      Your significant other opened a separate bank account and won’t share the information with you.
7.      You don’t remember each other’s first names.
8.      Your significant other says she won’t pimp for you anymore.
9.      You don’t wear each other’s underwear anymore.
10.  You have mutual restraining orders against each other.
​If you notice any of these subtle signs, you better believe the marriage isn’t working.

​Dear friends,
 
My newest novel, Night Predator, was published today as an e-book ($2.99). If you would like to order, the link is https://www.amazon.com/Night-Predator-Monte-R-Anderson-ebook/dp/B07CZQBTFS. Please spread the word. Below is a short description of the book. Thanks for your support,
 
Monte
 
Vampires and homo sapiens have co-existed; sometimes living in peace and other times in violence. The on and off wars between vampires and homo sapiens has waged for centuries. Recent scientific discovers – DNA and archeology – proves that vampires are cousins of homo sapiens. When the vampire rebels drop their demand for a homeland for vampires somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains, the war officially ended with the signing of the London Peace Accords.
 
Most people hail the Accords and the peace it provides. However, extreme militants on both sides vowed to continue the battle. The two sides wage a terrorist campaign on each other, often killing innocent bystanders. In 2050, the FBI forms a task force as part of the anti-terrorist division to hunt down both extremists and prosecute them. Michael Castillo, a rookie FBI agent and a homo sapien, and Branko Renner, a former rebel vampire, are reluctant partners on the task force.
 

I copied this from the VFW web site.
“Every freedom we cherish was paid for in blood. This is a day to pay tribute to our heroic patriots who bravely rose up and fought for something greater than themselves, selflessly laying down their life for freedom. 
As we gather and observe this Memorial Day, we carry on a tradition dating back to 1866, embracing the feeling of patriotism and pride while honoring the best and most noble of us all. 
Freedom isn’t free, and it has been paid for with the lives of sons and daughters, husbands and wives, sisters, brothers and friends. Their debt is one that can never truly be repaid, but we can start by ensuring the youth of tomorrow understand the true cost of freedom. 
This Memorial Day, the VFW encourages Americans to pause and reflect on the lives and service of those who made the ultimate sacrifice, and the families they left behind. There is no better way to honor those who gave all than to remember them and draw upon their selflessness to strengthen our spirit as a nation.”
Enjoy the day.
​

I read with interest an item on my news fed, “These Are the Most Common Lies People Tell on Dating Apps. It was based on a study recently published in the Journal of #Communication. It said that people fib on dating apps like #Tinder and #Bumble, but out and out lies are rare. It went on to say that more than a third of the fibs are “self-presentation lies.” In other words, pretending to have the same interests. Less than 30% of lies were about the sender’s time (or lack thereof) to avoid a meeting. The next group of fibs were about timing – the ones that say they’ll be there sooner than later. As usual, I think they missed the more common lies.
Here is my list of frequent lies told on dating apps:
I’m a swimsuit model.
I’m an aspiring actor waiting on tables (or pumping gas) until I get a callback from my last audition.
I’m a writer working on the next Great American Novel.
I’m a former FBI (or CIA) agent.
I’m single.
I’m married but separated pending a divorce.
I ‘m 29 years old.
My parents live with me. I let them use the whole house while I just use the basement.
I’m not unemployed. I’m self-employed.
That is a recent picture of me.
Of course, once you lie on a dating app. It’s hard to deny it on the first date. Good luck.
​

I’m confused. It used to be whenever the phrase, “What part of whatever do you not understand?” was used it was rather clear that what was not understood was simple. For example, “What part of ‘No” do you not understand?” The word “No” was simple and difficult to misunderstand. However, lately on TV I see the phrase used for all sorts of things; some of which might be misunderstood. This need to stop.

​Here are some ways that phrase might be used that I never want to see:
What part of brain surgery do you not understand?
What part of rocket science do you not understand?
What part of nuclear physics do you not understand?
What part of calculus do you not understand?
What part of French do you not understand?
What part of time travel do you not understand?
What part of the time-space continuum do you not understand?
What part of the String theory do you not understand?
What part of the #Trump White House do you not understand?
What part of the #Big-Bang theory do you not understand?

Okay? Finally, what part of this blog do you not understand?
​