I read with interest an item on my news fed, “These Are the Most Common Lies People Tell on Dating Apps. It was based on a study recently published in the Journal of #Communication. It said that people fib on dating apps like #Tinder and #Bumble, but out and out lies are rare. It went on to say that more than a third of the fibs are “self-presentation lies.” In other words, pretending to have the same interests. Less than 30% of lies were about the sender’s time (or lack thereof) to avoid a meeting. The next group of fibs were about timing – the ones that say they’ll be there sooner than later. As usual, I think they missed the more common lies.
Here is my list of frequent lies told on dating apps:
I’m a swimsuit model.
I’m an aspiring actor waiting on tables (or pumping gas) until I get a callback from my last audition.
I’m a writer working on the next Great American Novel.
I’m a former FBI (or CIA) agent.
I’m single.
I’m married but separated pending a divorce.
I ‘m 29 years old.
My parents live with me. I let them use the whole house while I just use the basement.
I’m not unemployed. I’m self-employed.
That is a recent picture of me.
Of course, once you lie on a dating app. It’s hard to deny it on the first date. Good luck.
​

I’m confused. It used to be whenever the phrase, “What part of whatever do you not understand?” was used it was rather clear that what was not understood was simple. For example, “What part of ‘No” do you not understand?” The word “No” was simple and difficult to misunderstand. However, lately on TV I see the phrase used for all sorts of things; some of which might be misunderstood. This need to stop.

​Here are some ways that phrase might be used that I never want to see:
What part of brain surgery do you not understand?
What part of rocket science do you not understand?
What part of nuclear physics do you not understand?
What part of calculus do you not understand?
What part of French do you not understand?
What part of time travel do you not understand?
What part of the time-space continuum do you not understand?
What part of the String theory do you not understand?
What part of the #Trump White House do you not understand?
What part of the #Big-Bang theory do you not understand?

Okay? Finally, what part of this blog do you not understand?
​

I read with interest an article by Cari Wira Dineen for Prevention, “5 Signs Your Marriage Isn't As Strong As You Think It Is.” Cari listed these signs:
Your spouse is not your go-to person anymore.
You're overly focused on yourself
You're comparing your partner to others—and not in a good way.
You're not fighting, but you're not loving either.
You're leading separate lives.
In my opinion, these signs aren’t even close. Here is my list of subtle signs your marriage isn't as strong as you think it is:
You don’t cook meth together any more.
You don’t provide each other an alibi when questioned by the police.
Your significant other refuses to remember your safe word.
Your significant other ran off with your best friend.
You unfriended each other on Face Book.
Your significant other opened a separate bank account and won’t share the information with you.
You don’t remember each other’s first names.
Your significant other says she won’t pimp for you anymore.
You don’t wear each other’s underwear anymore.
You have mutual restraining orders against each other.
If you notice any of these subtle signs, you better believe the marriage isn’t working.
​

I read with interest and article from Best Life, The Definitive Profile an Unfaithful Wife. Talked about a report from Indiana University and a study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationships Therapy. They list some signs that your wife might be cheating on you. In my opinion, they weren’t even close.

​Here is my list of subtle signs that your wife may be cheating on you:
Your wife comes home wearing another man’s underwear.
She smells like Old Spice.
There’s a note on the refrigerator that she wrote saying she’s leaving you for your best friend (not the dog).
You find a man in your closet or under the bed.
She starts listening to cheating songs.
She unfriends you on Face Book.
You discover she’s using Tinder to find guys.
She calls you by someone else’s name during sex.
There’re cigarette butts in an ash tray, but neither of you smoke.
Your kids keep asking when uncle Joe is coming back and you don’t know anyone named Joe.
You find condoms in her purse and you had a vasectomy years ago.
You catch her sexting with a stranger.

If you see these subtle signs, your wife is cheating on you.
 
​

Let’s face facts; we have problems that need to be solved. Homelessness is one such problem.

In January 2015, there were 564,708 homeless on a given night in the US. Of that number, 83,170 are considered "chronically homeless”. Usually, the solutions put forth by politicians are so complex no one can understand them, let alone implement them. Politicians think to be acceptable, a solution must be complex. Not true. Sometimes the right solution is simple and maybe even counter intuitive or hard to implement. Two of the causes for homelessness are lack of shelter or housing and unemployment for the homeless.


Employment: Here are some ideas for employment for the homeless:
Rent a Zombie for a Day. Volunteer makeup artists make the homeless look like zombies who then hire out by the hour or day for parties.
Tour a Zombie Zone. Areas where homeless congregate could be turned into zombie zones for tour buses. Again, volunteer makeup artists would be needed.
Rent a Boyfriend/Girlfriend. People could hire a homeless person as a boyfriend or girlfriend to make parents shut up about finding someone and stop trying to set up dates.
Rent a Plus One. No one needs to go single to another wedding or party when they can rent a homeless person. Veterans would cost extra (12% of all homeless adults are vets).
Rent a Snitch. Police could pay homeless people for leads. They could supply them with body cams to catch criminals.
Rent a Vote. Politicians could hire homeless to vote. They could even be bused into Massachusetts.
Rent a Homeless Person to Impress Your Friends (vets cost extra). People could hire a homeless person to impress their friends or to impress college admittance boards.
Rent a Protester. Political activists could hire homeless people to swell the ranks of protesters. They could even hire them as counter protesters for staged confrontation to ensure making the evening news.
Trash Pick-up. Homeless people already pick up aluminum cans and copper for cash from recycle yards. If cities would offer a flat rate for trash – say one dollar a pound – the homeless could keep parks and roads clean.
Rent a Passenger. People who live in big cities sometimes need a passenger so they can use the High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) lane. Pick up a homeless person for a passenger.  
Cost will vary by distance.
Rent a Line Up. Police always need warm bodies for police line ups. Why not hire homeless persons?
Save a Parking Space. Often when people want to attend a popular sporting or entertainment event, they can’t find a parking spot. Homeless people will camp out on a parking spot and save it for a fee.
Save a Place in Line. Sometime people would like to go shopping on Black Friday or buy tickets to a popular event but hate to stand in line. Rent a homeless person to camp out in line to save a space.
References. Need references for your resume or job application? Hire homeless references.  
Extras for Zombie or Disaster Movies. Zombie or disaster movies need lots of extras. Homeless people could fill the need, Zombie movies will require some make up but homeless people are ready made for disaster movies. Standard pay is $50 per day plus lunch.

​Shelter: Here are some ideas for shelter for the homeless:
The simplest solution to the homeless problem is for people with homes adopt a homeless person. There are 43.7 M residences in the US. That’s 77+ homes for each homeless person. Done deal – except no wants to adopt a homeless person.
Another solution would be to use vacant houses or building as shelters for homeless. According to Amnesty International USA, vacant houses outnumber homeless people by five times. Some charities have bought buildings to develop into housing for the homeless.
Cities could also allow homeless people to live in their car, if they have a car, in city owned parking lots.
Certain cities could allow homeless to camp out in small tents on city property.
Here are some ideas for shelters:
Dumpsters – A dumpster turned on its side with the covers propped open makes a nice home with a porch.
Shipping containers make an even larger shelter.
The cardboard from two or three mattress boxes can be made into a shelter. A little plastic, and it’s water proof.
Over passes often have unused space under them that can be converted into shelters.
Let’s not forget using empty jails cells. Jails would provide free meals.
 
Of course, there’re other serious issues concerning the homeless, but shelters and employment are high on the list. Causes of homelessness in the US include, but are not limited to lawful eviction, PTSD, mental health, natural disasters, drug abuse, gambling, and low-paying jobs.

I just finished reading an article in the AARP Bulletin, titled “50 Great Ways to Live Longer.” Right away I knew I had to change my unhealthy ways and calculate my new longevity. My father lived to be 80 years old, so I always figured I’d live that long at least. I did the math below:
If I cut back on my pain pills, I would decrease my chances of heart attack or stroke by 10%. That adds 8 years (don’t get caught up in the details) to my life. That brings my life expectancy to 88 years.

If I get less than six hours of sleep, my chances of dying increases by 12%. Therefore, if I can get in six hours of sleep, my life expectancy increase to 98.5 years. Looking good so far.

If I can stay married, I have a 46% lower risk of death compared to never married men. My life expectancy increases to 143+ years (1.46* 98.5). This might be a tough one.

By drinking coffee, I add another 15% to my life, bring my life expectancy to 165 years (143*1.15). I already drink coffee, so no biggy.

Eating three or more servings of whole grains per day, reduces my death by 20%. Now my life expectancy is up to 198 (165*1.20). I may start to moo.

Eating hot peppers reduces the death rate by 13%, bringing my expectancy to 223+ years. I’m on a roll here.

Drinking whole milk can add eight to ten years to my life. My life expectancy now increases to 233 years (223 + 10).

Switching to a vegetarian diet can deduce my death rate by 12%. As much as I love meat, this switch would add 28 years to my life. Life expectancy is now 261 years (233 + 28).

Stopping smoking reduces mortality by 15% or more. Now I expect to live to 300 (261*1.15%).

Loneliness increases the risk of early death by 45%. Therefore, if I stay social, I can add 135 years (300*.45%) to my life. I may live for 435 years.
​
My new plan to live to be over 400 is simple -- cut back on pain pills, sleep six hours, stay married, drink coffee, eat three servings of whole grains per day, eat hot peppers, drink whole milk, switch to a vegetarian diet, stop smoking, stay social. You can’t argue with math. See you in 400 years.
​

President Trump has banned refugees form seven countries. Those countries are: Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen. In 2016, a total of 43,259 refugees came to the USA. Vetting all the refugees is a long and laborious process. First the UN screens them and refers the most vulnerable cases the US for resettlement. If someone has committed a crime, that person doesn't qualify for resettlement. Then the US does its own vetting involving eight federal agencies, six different databases, five separate background checks, four fingerprint and biometric checks, three in-person interviews, two inter-agency checks and a partridge in a pear tree. That takes a lot of time and personnel. A quicker vetting process is needed.
 
I have developed a quick test to separate those refugees that truly love America from the terrorist bent of our destruction. The test is in the American language. No Spanish, English, French, Arabic or other versions exist. The refugee must score 100% or is forever banned from entering the USA. This test could be given to large groups at one time to speed up the vetting process. No collusion allowed. Here it is:

1.Do you love The United States of America? Yes or No? [The only acceptable answer is "Yes". The test giver must not say, “Do you love America?” because that might include Mexico, Central America, and South America.]

2. Have you ever been a suicide bomber? Yes or No? [The only acceptable answer is "No".]

3.The first words to the National Anthem are… Pick one.
a.       Jose, can you see?
b.      Okay, you can pee.
c.       Oh, say can you see.
d.      Beautiful for spacious skies
[The only acceptable answer is c.]

4.The best foods to order in a fast food restaurant are… Pick one.
a.       Tacos and burritos.
b.      Rice and General Tso’s chicken.
c.       Gyros and lamb kebabs 
d.      Hot dogs and apple pie.
[The only acceptable answer is d.]

5. If you wanted to buy a car for a car bomb, which would you choose? Pick one.
a.       Ford Mustang
b.      Volkswagen
c.       BMW
d.      Rolls Royce
[This is a trick question. There’s no right answer. If the subject selects any answer, he is a terrorist. However, a is the second-best answer. Always buy American.]

6.What is your favorite weapon? Pick only one.
a.       AK47
b.      Colt Defender
c.       RGP
d.      Improvised explosive device (IED)
e.       Pipe bomb
[The only acceptable answer is b. Always buy American]

7.What is your favorite sport? Pick one.
a.       Football
b.      Throwing Molotov Cocktails
c.       Throw stones at police
d.      Running away from police.
[The only acceptable answer is a.]

8.Who is considered the Father of the United States? Pick one.
a.       Donald Trump
b.      Ronald Regan
c.       Elvis Presley
d.      George Washington
[The only acceptable answer is d.]

9.Which of the following is not a real freedom under the Bill of Rights? Pick one.
a.       Freedom of Religion
b.      Freedom of Speech
c.       Freedom to live in Massachusetts and vote in Rhode Island
d.      Freedom to Bear Arms
[The only acceptable answer is c.]

10.What is the motto of the USA? Pick one.
a.       E pluribus unum. Latin for "Out of many, one"
b.      Sock it to me. American for “sock it to me.”
c.       Carpe Diem. Latin for “Seize the day”
d.      BOLO. American for “Buy one, Get one.”
[The only acceptable answer is a.]

11.If you are mentally ill, what can’t you do in the USA?
a.       Run for President.
b.      Figure out how to put together Ikea furniture.
c.       Buy a gun.
d.      Drive a car.
e.       Get Married.
[The only acceptable answer is b.]
​
​Failing this test means the refugee doesn’t love the USA and most likely is a terrorist that should be banned from entering the country.