My manuscript for the second book in the Jen McDowell Series is nearly ready to publish. I want to proofread it one more time. While I’m doing that, I thought I’d post excerpts from it in my blog. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter. Enjoy. If you want to catch up, purchase the first book in the series (The Throuple Private Eye—Hate Crimes) from Amazon.

MARTY AND NAVADA (Cont’d)

Jen realized she screwed up… again. “Sorry, but I was worried about you. You left with a guy you just met and spent the night with him. What else about him?”

Molly sat down. “I don’t know how much you know, but he was born and raised here in Atlanta. He’s enrolled in the graduate program for his master’s in engineering. He’s real smart. He lost his leg in Afghanistan.”

“IED?” Jen asked.

“No, sniper. He doesn’t have much PTSD like we do. His is a mild case.”

Jed and Molly talked about Marty for a few more minutes. Finally, Jen asked, “Will you go out with him again?”

“We’re going out tomorrow night.”

The next day…Jen and Molly were working in the office when Jen’s cellphone rang. She glanced and saw it was Navada calling. She glanced over at Molly who wasn’t paying any attention. “I’ll take this call on the deck.” Jen stepped onto the deck and closed the patio doors behind her. She felt a chill as the fall days started to get cooler in the afternoons. “How did you get my number? Did Marty give you this number?” “Whoa,” Navada shot back. “Why the third degree? I got your number from your web page.” Jen calmed down. “Okay, sorry. I try to protect my privacy. Why did you call me? Are you looking for Marty?”

“No,” Navada answered. “I wanted to talk to you. I’d like to buy you a drink. Maybe just coffee if you prefer.”

Jen felt butterflies in her stomach. She paused for a moment. Finally, she asked, “When?” She began to finger the top button of her blouse.

“Now, if that’s okay.”

“No, I can’t today. Tell you what; I’ll call you when I’m free. Okay?”

“Fine,” Navada said. “I’ll wait for your call.”

The next Friday…

Navada didn’t have to wait long. It was Friday and Jonah was on a stake out that would take most of the night and maybe the weekend. Doc was called into the ER. There was a fight between Black Lives Matter and a right-wing militia that left several people seriously injured. He didn’t expect to return before the next day. Molly had a date with Marty and departed early to get ready. Jen decided to call Navada. They agreed to meet at a popular night spot for drinks. Jen knew if she wasn’t home when Jonah or Doc returned, they would be worried and phone her.

Jen showered quickly and put on her red thong that her boys liked. She figured Navada would like it too. She dabbed a spot of perfume on her wrists and on each carotid artery. As an afterthought, she dabbed another in her cleavage. She then dressed in her favorite jeans; the one that showed off her assets. Last, but not least, she went into the bedroom and removed a condom from the nightstand. She thought for a moment and took out two more. Better safe than sorry, she thought.

When she was ready, she poured herself a shot glass of vodka to calm her nerves. Jen was having second thoughts about sleeping with Navada but wanted to prove to herself she was not a ‘kept woman’, as Molly had pointed out a few too many times. Afterall, she thought, we never said we were exclusive. I don’t recall saying it. Jen decided she would have to drink quite a bit to get the courage to go through with it. She poured herself another shot and drink it quickly.

She drove to the rendezvous night spot and went inside. Navada hadn’t arrived yet, so she order herself a cosmopolitan. Navada arrived ten minutes later. He was also dressed casually: jeans, no boots or cowboy hat. Nevada ordered a beer on tap. They talked for a while and then ordered more drinks. Jen still didn’t know if she could trust Navada, so she kept a close eye on her drinks—all the way from the tap to the table. When she had to use the restroom, she took her drink with her. They talked some more and after they finished their drinks, Jen said, “Let get out of here.”

Where to, my Lady?” Navada asked.

Jen smiled. “Your place. You drive. I’ll leave my car her and pick it up later.”
 
Once inside Navada’s car, they started making out. After a few minutes, Jen could hardly wait to get into bed with him. Nevada was stationed in Savanna, so he was staying in a motel in Atlanta. Jen’s plan was to go to bed with Navada and then go home before her boys came home. They grabbed a nightcap at the motel bar and then went to Navada’s room.

To be continued…
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson or Amazon.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

The Throuple Private Eye—Business is Booming (excerpt)

My manuscript for the second book in the Jen McDowell Series is nearly ready to publish. I want to proofread it one more time. While I’m doing that, I thought I’d post excerpts from it in my blog. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter. Enjoy. If you want to catch up, purchase the first book in the series (The Throuple Private Eye—Hate Crimes) from Amazon.

MARTY AND NAVADA (Cont’d)

Something else seems a little off to her. She felt the same about Marty. Then it struck her. Navada and Marty were born and raised in Atlanta and yet hardly had an accent. She knew from her experience on the police force, most people in Atlanta don’t have a distinct Southern accent. The accent was more Midland. In these guys’ case, Jen figured after four years of college and a few years in the Army where everyone from all the over country was thrown together, the guys lost most of their accent. They hardly ever dropped a ‘fixing to’ or a ‘y’all’.

Later that night, as Jen was working late in her office, Molly texted her. Attached to her text was a selfie of Molly grinning with Marty in the background removing his artificial leg. The picture wasn’t too clear, but Jen was certain Marty was naked. She was beginning to regret not kissing Navada.
Jen couldn’t sleep, so she decided to do a background check on Marty. It was easy enough to find information on him. He was searching for work, so he had a large social media presence. After a few clicks, Jen found what she was looking for.

Marty earned a BS in engineering from Georgia Institute of Technology, also known as Georgia Tech, here in Atlanta. He had a full ROTC scholarship and was commissioned a lieutenant in the Engineers upon graduation. He served one tour in Iraq and was wounded twice. He later volunteered for a tour in Afghanistan where he was seriously wounded and lost his leg. He was awarded the silver star for his actions. Jen was impressed. She decided not to do a background check on Nevada. She wasn’t planning on seeing him again.

Prada crawled over to Jen and whined. “Shit, girl, “Jen said. “I almost forgot about you.” Jen figured she was stuck with feeding Prada and walking her before going to bed. Jonah joined her on the walked but didn’t ask her what she did earlier at night. Doc was watching a football game, actually a rerun because of the pandemic. Jen couldn’t get Navada out of her mind. It was one of those ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda’ situations. She decided if she had sex with Doc and Jonah simultaneously, she’d forget about Navada. It was not the first time she lied to herself.

Prada slept in bed with Jen, squeezed in between her and Doc with Jonah on the other side of Jen. It was a bit crowded, but Jen thought it was sweet of the boys to let Prada share the bed. The next morning, Jen got up early and gave Prada some kibble for breakfast. She then made a cheese omelet with bacon for herself. She left the omelet on the table as she made herself a cup of coffee. When she turned around, the omelet and bacon were gone. She looked at Prada’s bowl. She hadn’t touched the kibble.

“WTF? Young lady,” Jen half shouted at Prada. “Did you eat my omelet?” Prada tried to look innocent, but the bacon and cheese on her lips gave her away. Jen just laughed and made another cheese omelet with bacon.

As she was cooking, Molly came to the office to get Prada. Jen noticed she was wearing the same clothes she wore line dancing last night. “Prada’s good,” Jen said. “We just had omelets and bacon. Prada turned up her nose at the kibble.”

“Damn, Aunt Jen. You’ve spoiled her,” Molly complained half-heartedly. “I have to give her some meds, and I’ll take her home.”

Jen grinned. “So, you stayed all night with Marty? How was it?”

Molly smiled. “It was great.”

Jen chuckled. “Come on girl, I want details. Spill.”

Molly stopped smiling. “When have you ever shared any details about your sex life?”

Jen could see she offended Molly. “That’s different. We’re in a committed relationship.”

Molly put her hands on her hips. “And what am I, your neighborhood hoe?”

Jen walked over to Molly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that at all. I don’t want to fight with you over some guy. You must really like Marty.”

Molly relaxed. “Yeah. Jen, I think he might be the ‘one’.” Molly made air quotes. “We talked all night.”
Jen chuckled. “You mean you didn’t tear each other’s clothes off as soon as you got inside his place and have sex like they do in the movies?”

It was Molly’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, we did, except it takes longer with a prothesis. That was a first for me.”

“Oh?” Jen chuckled again. “I didn’t know you were a virgin.”

Molly shot a rubber band at Jen. “Very funny. I meant I had never had sex with a one-legged man.”
“But you managed somehow.”

“We managed,” Molly answered smiling. “I could get used to it.”

“So, what’s he like?” Jen asked.

“Well, he has an engineering degree from Georgia University…”

“Georgia Tech,” Jen corrected.

“What?”

“His degree is from Georgia Tech, not Georgia University—two different schools.”

“So,” Molly said, a little irritated. “You checked him out already?”

To be continued…
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson or Amazon.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

My manuscript for, the second in the Jen McDowell Series, is nearly ready to publish. I want to proofread it one more time. While I’m doing that, I thought I’d post excerpts from it in my blog. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter. Enjoy. If you want to catch up, purchase the first book in the series (The Throuple Private Eye—Hate Crimes) from Amazon.

MARTY AND NAVADA (Cont’d)

Marty and Molly walked over with another young man. Marty made introductions, “Jen, this is Navada Lucas, my best friend. He still has both legs, but he’s okay.” Jen took an instant liking to Navada. She could tell he had a sense of humor. He had drawn a set of lips on his facemask, but they were a woman’s lips—bright red. It made her smile.

“Would you care to dance?” Navada asked Jen. She nodded and stood up. The four of them danced a few more times.

Finally, Jen said, “Folks, I’m not use to this, and my protheses are killing me, so I need to sit down.”
“We’re going to call it a night,” Molly announced. “But first I need to hit the head.” Jen took the hint and followed her to the restroom.

Once inside the ladies’ restroom, Molly said, “Don’t worry about driving me home. Marty said he’d give me a ride. We’re going to his place for a nightcap.

Jen sternly asked, “Molly do your panties fall off every time you meet a good-looking guy?”

Molly smiled. “What panties?”

Jen laughed. “Sorry, for a minute I forgot who I was talking to. Okay, but send me a text or call so I’ll know where to go to claim the body.” Molly just laughed. “I’m not kidding,” Jen yelled as Molly walked out of the restroom.

Before leaving, Molly kissed Jen on the cheek and started to leave holding hands with Marty. On the way out, Molly turned and winked at Jen. Navada then sat down to talk with Jen. Jen thought he was very charming although she felt as if he was just being polite and keeping her company.

As long as they had food or drinks, they could take off their facemasks. Navada got up and returned with a plate full of French fries for them to nibble on. He then when over to the bar a returned with two beers. Jen kept a close watch her drink as the bartender filled the glasses. It was habit she developed on the police force. A girl can’t be too careful.

When they both removed their facemasks, Jen got a good look at Navada. Earlier, she already had noticed his piercing blue eyes. She couldn’t help but noticed his eyelashes. He had beautiful, long eyelashes; the kind a woman would kill to have. He also had a beautiful smile. He explained how he was Marty’s best friend and roommate from Georgia Tech. They took ROTC together. When they were commissioned, Navada was commissioned in the infantry while Marty, with his high GPA was commissioned in the Engineers. Navada was still on active duty, stationed at Fort Stewart, in Savanna, Georgia with the 188th Infantry Brigade. He had driven up from Savanna to spend the weekend with his parents.

Jen couldn’t take her eyes off his eyes. On his part, he held her gaze while talking. Despite herself, she was attracted to him. She decided she should slow down her drinking. She was two beers short of going home with him. She started nursing her beer. As Navada talked, Jen played with her hair—twisting and twirling it. Eventually, she shifted her fingers down to the top button of her blouse and fiddled with it. She fantasized about sleeping with him. He was funny. He made her laugh every few minutes.

Soon she was convinced Navada was flirting with her. She also realized she was flirting with him. On the one hand she felt guilty because she had two live-in boyfriends at home. She felt like she was cheating even though everything was innocent enough. On the other hand, she was excited to find out she could still attract a hot guy like Navada. After she lost her legs, she thought no guy would be interested in her. Doc and Jonah were exceptions.

At one point, Navada lightly touched her hand. He pulled his hand back quickly and apologized. Jen liked it. She had noticed his arms earlier. He obviously exercised and was in good shape. She imagined he had six pack abs.
Finally, the bartender called last call. It was time to go. Jen said good night and started toward the door. Navada followed. Once outside, Jen stopped. “My car is just over there,” she said as she pointed.

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jen answered. Truth was, she didn’t trust herself not to jump into bed with him. “Listen, Navada,” she started to explain. “You’re a nice guy and all, but I’m in a committed relationship.” She decided not to say ‘two’ committed relationships. “Let’s not start something we can’t finish.” It didn’t sound like herself.

“Oh, I see,” Navada said. “I understand—we just met. I was being polite. Can I kiss you goodnight?”
Jen shook her head. “Like I said, let’s not start something.” She turned and walked away. On the drive home, she kept kicking herself. Afterall, she thought. One hook up wouldn’t hurt would it? Jen already knew the answer to her question. She began to review her conversation with Navada. The entire time she talked to him, he never once looked at another woman. Lord knows there were plenty of hot woman there with two good legs, she thought. So, what is he? Is he gay? A trans? A captain in the infantry—not likely. So, what is it? Maybe he’s a sociopath, or a serial killer. Nobody’s perfect.

To be continued...

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson or Amazon.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

My manuscript for The Throuple Private Eye—Business is Booming, the second in the Jen McDowell Series, is nearly ready to publish. I want to proofread it one more time. While I’m doing that, I thought I’d post excerpts from it in my blog. Here’s excerpts from the first chapter. Enjoy. If you want to catch up, purchase the first book in the series (The Throuple Private Eye—Hate Crimes) from Amazon.

MARTY AND NAVADA

It was late September on a Friday. Jen and Molly worked all day inside their office, doing research on their cases. Finally, late in the afternoon, Molly stood up and said, “Let’s get out of here. We need to unwind.”

Jen looked up. “Okay, I’ll see if the boys want to come.”

“No. Girls night out. Just you and me.”

“And do what?” Jen asked.

“Well, it’s Friday. My VFW post has an all you can eat fish fry every Friday and also a country band. For an extra $2 you can add shrimp.”

“I don’t know,” Jen replied. “Do you want to hang out with a bunch of old folks?”

“Wait a minute,” Molly cautioned as she placed her hands on hips. “I hang out there. On Fridays, the older vets come for the fish. The young vets come for the band and to dance. Besides, most of the fish is take out.”

“How do they have a dance during the pandemic?” Jen asked.

“Well, they can only allow a certain number of guests inside, something like 25 or 50 percent,” Molly answered. “Then in a large room they placed marks six feet apart in rows. It’s just line dancing, and everyone follows social distancing and wears masks.”

“I haven’t tried dancing in my prothesis yet,” Jen said. “I don’t know if I can.”

“It’s about time you found out. Besides, we don’t have to dance. We can listen to the music and drink beer,” Molly suggested. “We can also watch some of those young guys dance. Some are hot.”

Jen finally relented and volunteered to drive. It was still warm enough not to wear a coat, but the night was cool. The smell of fireplaces burning filled the air. At the VFW post, Molly signed Jen in as her guest, and they found a table near the dance floor. Jen decided Molly was right; some of the guys were hot, the band was good, and the beer was cold. The fish was white fish, but there was plenty of it with fries and coleslaw. Both women opted for the additional shrimp.

Once the JD started playing the line dancing music, Old Town Road, Jen couldn’t help but notice Molly’s hands. She was tapping the table in time with the music and gesturing with her arms. At one point, Molly accidently kicked Jen. Jen looked under the table to find Molly also moving her prothesis to the music. When the DJ played Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex, Molly was fully engaged line dancing while sitting down. Jen scooted over to give her more room.

A young man was watching Molly from a nearby table. When the DJ played Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus, he got up and approached Molly. “Hello, my name is Marty Hennessey. Would you like to dance?” he asked through his facemask. He extended his hand to help Molly get up.
Molly shook her head and pulled up her pant legs to reveal her two protheses. Marty pulled up one pant leg to reveal a major prothesis on his left leg. He tapped the side of his leg to show Molly it was a prothesis extending down from just below his hip.

“Okay,” Molly conceded. “You got me beat, but I haven’t danced since I got these.”

“No problem. I’ll show you how.”

“No, no, no,” protested Molly. “I don’t think so.”

Marty bend down and leaned on the table. “What was your rank when you got discharged from the military?”

Molly was taken back by the question. “Staff sergeant,” she stammered.

Marty straightened up. “Well, I was a captain and I’m giving you a direct order to get your ass out on the dance floor… sergeant.” Reluctantly, Molly stood up. Marty half led and half pulled Molly to the dance floor. It wasn’t crowded. No one objected to them not social distancing since several other couples did the same. Marty stood behind Molly and held her waist to steady her. Molly pulled both his arms tighter around her. All the dances were line dances, and, at first, Molly struggled to keep up. She did stubble a few times, but Marty caught her. Jen was certain the last fall was fake. After a few minutes, Molly mastered the steps without falling. Molly and Marty danced a few more dances.
As another line dance started, Molly and Marty walked and pulled a protesting Jen onto the dance floor. Molly stood on one side holding Jen’s hand while Marty held her other hand. It was awkward at first, but soon Jen was keeping up without falling. Once she got the hang of it, they resumed social distancing. After a few minutes, a guy cut in between Molly and Jen without a word, and everyone adjusted for social distancing. After a few dances, Jen headed back to her table, turning down a couple of offers to dance on the way including one from the guy who had cut in earlier.
​
To be continued…

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson or Amazon.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
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You may have read Mitch Albom’s novel, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. With a wink and a nod to Mr. Albom, I now present The Five People You Meet in Hell. Sorry, it’s a blog not a novel – maybe later.

Okay, you screwed up and you know it. You are going to hell. No sweat, you say. You have many friends in hell, so you won’t be lonely. True. The company you keep puts you in hell. Here’s a clue; your enemies are there too, and they are waiting for you. Here are the five people who will meet you at the gates of hell when you arrive:

1. Your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and/or ex-spouse. Remember how you cheated on your significant other? You cheated. You lied about it. You confessed and promised never to do it again. Then you cheated again and lied again. You thought you got away this last time. Your ex knows what you did and will confront you in hell. What you don’t know is that you caused your ex to have a crisis about his/her sexuality. He/she blamed himself/herself more than you. Your ex went into therapy. Finally, he/she had a sex change operation. Your ex then joined a commune to “find him/herself.” In a freak accident, your ex smoked some loco weed that looked like marijuana. It was fatal. With his/her dying breath, he/she swore revenge on you.

2. Your best friend from high school/college? You remember your best friend? You two vowed to be best friends forever. That was until you stabbed your BF in the back. You stole your BF’s girl/guy. You did it without a thought of how you hurt him/her. What you don’t know is that your BF had trust issue after that. He/she never trusted anyone again. He/she became very bitter and mean. With no friends, your BF sat alone at home watching reruns of Gillian’s Island. It wasn’t cable or satellite, because your BF did not trust the installer to show up at all. In a freak accident, your ex was killed by a flock of pigeons while feeding them.

3. Your old boss. You do remember your old boss? The one that didn’t give you that bonus or promotion. He said you did not achieve the goals he set for you. He said you wasted time playing games on the computer and taking naps in the stockroom. It was all true. What you don’t know is that he didn’t get a bonus or promotion either. Your failure caused him to fail too. Eventually, the company fired him for poor performance. He couldn’t get another job because he couldn’t get a referral. The industry blackballed him. He became homeless and wandered around aimlessly – without goals. In a tragic accident, he was cooked to death due to a malfunction in the heating grate he was sleeping on. Investigators found your name scribbled on the side of his cardboard box with the words, “I’ll see you in hell.”

4. Your old schoolteacher. You must remember your old schoolteacher – the one that you caused to have a nervous breakdown? She was a 30-year veteran but had never met anyone as bad as you. She even told you to your face if you ever go to hell, she will find you and kill you--again. What you may not know is she gave up teaching and joined a street gang. For several years, she committed drive by shootings of students. When her eyesight failed, she retired to a rural area in Montana. A black bear killed her when she tried to spank it after it climbed into her apple tree. She thought it was you. The police found a picture of you with your eyes gouged out in her cabin.

5. Jack Hodges. You remember Jack Hodges? Probably not. Everyone remembers him as One-eyed Jack. Your mom always told you not to throw pencils, but when Jack asked to borrow a pencil, you threw it. Sure enough, he lost an eye. That was bad enough, but what you don’t know was worst. People bullied and teased One-eyed Jack the rest of his life. He finally had enough and chose a life of crime. One day the police caught up with him, and he died in a hail of bullets. The police said that with his dying breath, he said it was all your fault.
 
So, have fun in hell.

“How did you get here, Bog?”

“What?”

“I mean did you drive and park somewhere?”

“No. I took the bus.”

“You mean you took a bus with a gun to rob a bank?”

“Yeah.”

“Well. Obviously, you can go home on the bus now. Let’s talk about how you’re going to get out of here. Do you want a helicopter?”

“No. I’m afraid of flying.”

“So, what then? Limo? Motorcycle? What?”

Bog didn’t answer for several seconds. Finally, he said, “How about a bicycle?”

Shirley wasn’t sure she heard correctly. “So, you want to peddle your way out of here?”

“No, no. A motorized bike. You know, one of those electric bikes.”

“Don’t you think our patrol cars can catch you?” Shirley asked.

“I know a short cut,” Bog laughed.

“Okay, what about the hostages? Do you plan on taking them on your bike?”

“Okay, you got me there. Make it a bus and not a bike.”

“Okay, you got it,” Shirley agreed.

Ten minutes later, a city bus driven by a police officer pulled up on the sidewalk, stopping short of the main entrance to the bank. “Here’s your bus, Bog. Pizzas are on the way, Bog. We gave you what you requested. Now, why don’t you let some of the hostages go as a gesture of good faith?”

“I was going to but the hostages I picked wanted to stay for pizza.”

Dick motioned for Shirley to cover the microphone, so she did. “Is he kidding?” Dick asked.

“I can’t tell.”

Twenty minutes later Dick ran over to the command post where Shirley was working out of and told her the pizzas had arrived. “Give we ten minutes before you tell the suspect so I can plant the microphone,” Dick told Shirley.

Ten minutes later, Shirley called Bog. “Your pizzas are here. How do you want them delivered?”

“No cops. Just let the pizza guy deliver the pizza. If he has to make two trips that’s okay.”

“Okay. We’re going to let him park right in front.”

Dick informed the pizza delivery guy who then drove up to the bank and parked directly in front of the main entrance. He got out of his car and proceed to take out two large, insulated boxes of pizza and a large plastic bag with soda and garlic knots. He had told Dick he could make it in just one trip.
Fifteen minutes later, the pizza driver walked out and drove off in the car. Dick went inside the command post. “Shirley, I thought the pizza guy was a black dude.”

“He was. You talked to him. You should know.”

“I do know. Check out this video.” Dick handed Shirley his cellphone.

“Why are you showing me porn?” Shirley asked.

“Oh, sorry. Wrong video.” Dick took back his cellphone and scrolled to a new video. “Here. Take a look.”

Shirley took the cellphone and watched a short video of the pizza guy walking to his car carrying two large, insulated boxes and an empty, large plastic bag. He was wearing a face mask and a baseball cap pulled down which made it hard to see his face.

“I don’t know, Dick. I can’t tell.”

“Look at his shoes. The pizza guy wore red tennis shoe which matched his uniform. This guy is wearing white tennis shoes.”

“Shit,” Shirley yelled as she jumped up. “No, no, no.” Shirley ran out of the command post and sprinted straight for the bank.

Dick grabbed the handset and keyed the microphone. “Hold your fire. Hold fire,” he announced.
Shirley ran into the bank. All the hostages were sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall, eating pizza. “Where’s the bank robber?” she yelled. Everyone pointed toward the front door. “Then where’s the pizza guy?” she yelled. Everyone pointed behind the counter. Shirley walked over and looked behind the counter. There on the floor was a man in just his underwear, hog tied with zip ties. His mouth had duct tape on it.

Dick rushed inside the bank followed by a swat squad. He walked over to Shirley who was crying. She buried her face into Dick’s chest. “I thought I was doing a good job, but I actually helped him escape.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll catch him. At least no one got hurt. I wonder if there’s any pizza left?”

THE END
​
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson or Amazon.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

There’s only one week left to purchase my e-books during the Smashwords July Summer Sale.
The 14th Annual Smashwords July Summer/Winter sale starts on July 1 and runs through July 31. Most of my e-books are on sale for 50% off. You will find them at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson. The books are:

Angels and Gargoyles  Free
Angels and Gargoyles is a novelette about a romance among heavenly hosts; a beauty and the beast love story. It tells how two of God's workers, for unexplainable reasons, fall in love, much to the chagrin of St. Peter. They are the two most unlikely pair for romance to begin with, but they manage to overcome all the obstacles and even St. Peter's objections so they can marry.

The Register Cliff Rapist 
Jason Franco is an aspiring novelist working for a newspaper in a small town where nothing exciting happens until someone rapes and murders a young woman only 18 years old. The boyfriend confesses to the crime. Jason is assigned to write a follow-up story for the paper and soon suspects that the local police are covering up for one of their own. Jason's life is soon on the line.

The Clone Murders
The Clone Murders takes place in 2031 when the ability to clone people has been perfected, but it is very expensive. Five of the first clones are declared national treasures. Senator Morgan suspects foul play when one clones turns up dead from exposure to anthrax. He asks Cas Novak and Robbi Kelly to investigate, and they uncover a plot for mass destruction.

Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor 
In 1499 Leonardo da Vinci is hired by Cesare Borgia as a military engineer. He begins to work on a steam canon that had originally been the idea of Archimedes 1800 years earlier. Leonardo tells Cesare the story of Archimedes and how he made many discoveries in mathematics and science.

Facility Maintenance Series: Types of Maintenance Programs
Types of Maintenance Strategies provides an overview of current maintenance programs to include reactive maintenance, corrective maintenance, preventive maintenance, predictive maintenance, condition-based maintenance, reliability centered maintenance, and total productive maintenance. The advantages and disadvantages are explained as well as the costs. A brief history is included in each chapter.
​
Leadership for New Managers: Book Two
For new leaders, the art of leadership is not ease. There is much to know and even more to do. The expectations are high. In this e-book, I try to share some of my experiences with new leaders to help them learn how to handle the challenge. This e-book is an overview of leadership traits and theories from which new leaders can determine the future areas of study. It includes a self-assessment.

Steve Bannon has been found guilty of contempt for defying a congressional subpoena from the January 6 Special Committee after a four-day trial. He refused to put up a defense.

I thought for sure Steve Bannon would invoke the Asoh Defense. Captain Kohei Asoh was the pilot-in-command of Japan Airlines Flight 2 on November 22, 1968. Due to the weather, he landed the plane in the shallow waters of San Francisco Bay, two and a half miles short of the runway.

When asked why he landed short of the runway and in the water, Captain Kohei Asoh answered, “As you Americans say, I f***ed up.” His reply has become known as the Asoh Defense. Captain Asoh accepted full responsibility for his mistake. Of course, I should have known that Bannon would never take responsibility for anything he did. I suppose he is expecting a full pardon from Trump if Trump gets re-elected.

Don’t you just love politics?
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Detectives Dick Andrews and Shirley Kelly heard the call on the radio for more detectives at the site of a bank hold up with hostages. Dick and Shirley were assigned to homicide, but the bank’s address was just a few blocks away. As they pulled up, Captain Tim Barnaby, their boss walked over to meet them.

“What’s sup?” Dick asked. “Is there a homicide here?”

Captain Tim Barnaby shook his head. “Not yet. A single suspect walked into the bank to rob it. Someone tripped the silent alarm. When patrol cars arrived, the suspect took everyone inside hostage. No one is hurt as near as we can tell. I was nearby and thought I would help. Stick around and let’s see if they need us.”

“Is the negotiation team here yet?” Shirley asked.

“Not yet.” The captain answered. “The incident commander has made contact with the suspect, but that’s about all.”

Just then, the incident commander called Captain Barnaby to come to him. The two talked briefly and Captain Barnaby quickly trotted back to where Dick and Shirley stood. “Bad news,” he said. “The negotiation team is tied up in traffic. Shirley, you’ve had some training in negotiations, why don’t you start the dialogue with the suspect?”

“Sure boss, if you think I can help.” Shirley answered. She walked over to the incident commander and took a cellphone from him.

“He’s on speaker phone, the commander told Shirley.

“Hello, my name is detective Shirley Kelly. To who am I speaking?”

The phone went silent for a few seconds. “To whom am I speaking?”

“I told you, detective Shirley Kelly. What’s you name?”

Again, the phone was silent for s few seconds. “What’s your name?”

“Look here you numb…”

Dick put his hand over Shirley’s mouth before she could finish her sentence. He shook his head. Shirley took a deep breath. In a softer voice she said, “I’m sorry. I thought I told you my name. What’s you name?”

This time the voice at the other end replied immediately. “Hello detective Shirley. My name is Bogusław Stanek. My friends call Bog. First you said, ‘To who am I speaking?’ The correct grammar would be ‘whom’ not ‘who’. The you said, ‘What’s you name?’ You should have said ‘your’ not you. If you can use correct grammar, then we can’t have a civilized discussion. Or do I have to start shooting these hostages?”

“No, no, Mr. Stanek. I meant no disrespect. I’ll try to use correct grammar. Please tell me your demands.” Shirley stress the word ‘your’.

“My demands?”

“Yes,” Shirley said. “What do you want?”

“Well, obviously, I wanted to rob this bank, but I think that ship has sailed. I doubt you’re going to just let me go. What else would my demands be. I’m new at this.”

Well, off the top of my head, it’s 95 degrees out here. How about some water?” Shirley suggested. Dick gave her a thumbs up and then ran over to the incident commander.

“He has requested some water. I need a transmitter that we can slip into the box and hear whatever’s going on inside.”

The commander spoke to another detective who dashed off and quickly returned with a small transmitter. He gave to Dick who ran over to tell Shirley. Shirley nodded to indicate that she understood. “Listen Mr. Stanek, it’s close to dinner time. You’re probably hungry and I’m sure the hostages are too. How about we order some pizza?”

“Please call me Bog. Yeah, I am a little hungry. Hold on.” Shirley heard Bog ask the hostages if they were hungry. Bog returned to the cellphone. “Yeah, everyone is hungry. Pizza sounds okay. There are thirteen people here counting me. But I’m lactose intolerant. I can’t have pizza. I just want a salad. Who’s paying for all this food?”

“Sir… Bog. Right now, you’re a guest of the policed department. You can have whatever you like. Our treat.”

“Thanks. I just don’t want to be billed later.”

Shirley wasn’t sure if Bog would be billed later or not. “What about toppings?”

“I don’t know. Just mix them up. No pineapple. That’s just criminal.”

“What sides?”

“Well, I guess we’ll need sodas, and garlic knots.
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To be continued…

You check your voice mail and find a message from the Dr. Phil Show asking for a comment.

1. You turn on the news and see two of your exes being interviewed on a national talk show.
2. A person in a bomb or a HAZMAT suit is at your front door.
3. Several news vans are parked on your front lawn.
4. Your office is surrounded with crime scene tape.
5. Your date from last night texted you that she is in quarantine and for you to call her ASAP.
6. You find the door to the terrarium where you keep your collection of tarantulas open, and the tarantulas gone.
7. You find a bullet hole in your front window.
8. You find a roaring fire in your living room, but you don’t have a fireplace.
9. You look out the window and see a Coast Guard boat motoring down your street.
10. There’s a police helicopter hovering above your house.
11. You find a flying saucer in your back yard and two green aliens having a discussion with your dog.
12. Your dog comes in from the back yard carrying a human foot.
13. You watch a video on the news about a man robbing a bank wearing the coat you donated to Good Will yesterday.
14. Your pet cobra escaped, and you can’t find it.
15. You friend barrowed your car and returned it with blood in the trunk.
16. You hear your name mentioned on America’s Most Wanted,
17. Your pregnancy test is positive and you’re dating three guys.

 
Ignore these signs at your peril.