You probably realize by now that the Democratic presidential hopefuls are pitching their “One Big Idea”. However, they have no monopoly on ideas, big or otherwise. I want to get my tow cents in.
Here’s my big idea.

Let’s put an end to the Immigration issue.

Let’s face the facts. People want to come to the USA for a better life or escape prosecution in their country. Many try to cross the border from #Mexico. They come from #CentralAmerica, South America and from overseas. Spin off problems include the large influx of unaccompanied children, #amnesty for illegal aliens, undocumented workers, keeping our borders secure, drugs, crime, etc. To paraphrase a Mexican bandit leader named "Gold Hat" (played by Alfonso Bedoya) in the movie The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "Walls? We don't need no stinkin' walls!"

Here’s the simple solution; annex Central America. Make it a territory of the United States -- problem solved. The US should annex Central America down to the Panama Canal. That includes Mexico, #Guatemala, #Honduras, #CostaRica, and half of #Panama. We would make each country a territory like #Guam, #PuertoRico, and #Hollywood or add five new states.

Here’s the impact of that solution:
1. All the people in Central America would be US citizens -- no need to immigrate.
2. The Panama Canal is a great barrier; no need to build a wall. We could fill the canal with sharks. The canal is 48 miles long – a fraction of length of the southern border with Mexico. Plus, it’ll be difficult to dig tunnels under the canal. A portion is under water which can be patrolled by boats and a couple of guard towers.
3. It would probably mean more votes for the Democratic Party.
4. The Panama Canal would be returned to the US ownership -- more income.
5. More illegal drugs would be available at lower prices. Many cartels would be out of business.
6.  No one would need a visa to take a vacation in Central America.
7. People would then be able to eat real Mexican food.
8. School kids would have to learn where Costa Rica is located.
9. The NRA will be happy to learn that many of the people in Central America are already armed.
10. The area is already named “America.”
11. This action will put the Canadians on notice to clean up their act.
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The lower cost to build a wall should make this a no-brainer.

I’m sure you’ve heard by now that the White House is seeking a replacement for Sarah Huckabee Sanders, current press secretary who will be leaving soon. Some of you might be interested in applying for the position.

​Here are the requirements in case you’re interested:

• Must be willing to lie, be untruthful or be deceptive when needed.
• Must be able to keep a straight face whenever caught doing any of the above.
• Must be able to create vague terms like “alternative facts”.
• Must be willing to retweet fake videos or even to help create fake videos, altered videos or bogus statistics to deceive, mislead and misinform the public.
• Must be able to avoid answering hard or straight forward questions with obfuscation and divisiveness.
• Must treat the media with contempt.
• Must defend a dishonest a president.
• Must not have any morals or conscience.
• Must be willing to disregard any and all subpoenas.

The White House is an Equal Opportunity Destroyer. Good luck on your interview.

​I read with interest an item on my newsfeed (Life Style) from Brides Magazine, “The 7 Phrases That Are Ruining Your Relationship.” Now I’ve been married twice, so I can speak from experience when I say, “Not even close.” The article listed these phases:
1. "I'm sorry, but ..." There’s always a “but” isn’t there?
2. "Yeah? Well, you ..." We men know our only defense is to say, “I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.”
3. "You always ..."
4. "I'm fine."
5. "I told you ..."
6. "You're just like ..."
7. "You're overreacting."
All true but not all that damaging. Here are the other phrase/sentences, based on my experience, that will ruin your relationship:
 

1. If you’re a man – “I think your best friend/mother/daughter is hot.” For a woman – “I think your best friend/father/son is hot.”
2. “Can I wear your panties and bra?”
3. “I think the condoms I used have been recalled.”
4. “The voices in your head are starting to annoy me.”
5. “Have you seen my pet cobra?”
6. “Did you take my pipe bombs?”
7. “My coffee tastes like antifreeze.”
8. “Let’s play Russian Roulette.”
9. “My parole officer would like to meet you.”
10. “Did I mention that my divorce isn’t final yet?”

 
Trust me – these comments will sabotage your relationship.

I read with interest an article on my Lifestyle news feed by Emily Wallace of Penn State U,
“7 Reasons Americans Might Want to Stop Drinking Milk”. She wrote about the inhumane living condition and abuse of cattle, milk beyond infancy is unnatural, the hormonal risks, how milk is bad for your bones, environmental destruction caused by dairy farming and the fact that there are plenty of alternatives.
Once again, I think she missed a few more reasons. Here they are:

• Milk is coming out of your nose.
• You start mooing.
• You come down with hoof and mouth disease.
• Your hair is beginning to look like cow hide.
• You start giving yourself milk injections.
• Your skin turns milk white.
• You begin growing udders, a tail or horns.
• Your breasts become huge.
• Your bowel movements also become huge.
• You start dating only farmers.
• Bulls or heifers start looking appealing to you.
• Your favorite song becomes Farmer in the Dell.
• You start putting grass on your cereal.
• You start eating a lot more grains.
• You want to adopt a calf.
• Your friends say you’re getting beefy.

If you see any of these signs, you should cut back on your milk consumption.

How to Live 400 Years ​

I read an article in the AARP Bulletin, titled “50 Great Ways to Live Longer.” Right away I knew I had to change my unhealthy ways and calculate my new longevity. My father lived to be 80 years old, so I always figured I’d live that long at least. I did the math below:
If I cut back on my pain pills, I would decrease my chances of heart attack or stroke by 10%. That adds 8 years (don’t get caught up in the details) to my life. That brings my life expectancy to 88 years.
If I get less than six hours of sleep, my chances of dying increases by 12%. Therefore, if I can get in six hours of sleep, my life expectancy will increase to 98.5 years. Looking good so far.

If I can stay married, I have a 46% lower risk of death compared to never married men. My life expectancy increases to 143+ years (1.46* 98.5). This might be a tough one.

By drinking coffee, I add another 15% to my life, bring my life expectancy to 165 years (143*1.15). I already drink coffee, so no biggy.

Eating three or more servings of whole grains per day, reduces my death by 20%. Now my life expectancy is up to 198 (165*1.20). I may start to moo.

Eating hot peppers reduces the death rate by 13%, bringing my expectancy to 223+ years. I’m on a roll here.

Drinking whole milk can add eight to ten years to my life. My life expectancy now increases to 233 years (223 + 10).

Switching to a vegetarian diet can deduce my death rate by 12%. As much as I love meat, this switch would add 28 years to my life. Life expectancy is now 261 years (233 + 28).

Stopping smoking reduces mortality by 15% or more. Now I expect to live to 300 (261*1.15%).

Loneliness increases the risk of early death by 45%. Therefore, if I stay social, I can add 135 years (300*.45%) to my life. I may live for 435 years.

My new plan to live to be over 400 is simple -- cut back on pain pills, sleep six hours, stay married, drink coffee, eat three servings of whole grains per day, eat hot peppers, drink whole milk, switch to a vegetarian diet, stop smoking, stay social. You can’t argue with math. See you in 400 years.

I read an article from the Motley Fool written by Maurie Backman. She wrote about the three mistakes you might make during your working years that will haunt you in retirement. She listed: thinking you'll fall back on Social Security, not saving from an early age and playing it safe with investments. 

Now I’m no financial wiz, but I think she missed the mark by a long shot. Here some regrets she didn’t mention:
​
Loaning money to your brother-in-law.
Not paying off your debt to a loan shark.
Sending money to some guy in Nigeria.
Not having a prenup with your first wife.
Not paying your taxes.
Betting your nest egg on a hot tip at the racetrack.
Taking all your money out of Apple and investing in Eastern Airlines stock.
Throwing away the winning lottery ticket before checking the numbers.
Starting as an Uber driver with a rickshaw.
Stealing the identity of a person on the FBI ten most wanted list.
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I’m sure there are many more regrets, but time and space doesn’t permit me to list them all.

A Memorial Day Salute

I received got this message from the President of the Military Officers Association of America. I thought I’d share part of it.

We stand in awe of those who made the ultimate sacrifice. We pay tribute to those who knew the risks, who knew the odds, and who marched onward. And we see the courage in our men and women at home and overseas who continue the fight.

The national marking of Memorial Day began just after the Civil War, but this year’s commemoration comes as we prepare to honor a different generation of service. With the 75th anniversary of D-Day approaching, we recall the stories of young soldiers waiting in the front of their Higgins boats, soon to charge up the shores of Normandy into chaos, uncertainty … and, ultimately, victory in Europe. The losses were heavy, but bravery and dedication to the mission won the day.

We take this moment to look back on those who served and sacrificed in these battles and others across the decades. Caissons continue to roll at Arlington National Cemetery too often due to a service-related loss. We must never forget to take the time to honor the service and sacrifice of our nation's military – and that of their families.

From the past to the present, we all find our own ways to remember our fallen servicemembers. Learning more about the history of service is an important way to honor their sacrifice.
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On Memorial Day, we remember.

3Recently President Trump proposed changing our immigration policy to move it toward a merit-based system rather than the current family-based approach. It did not include giving refugees a written exam (in English). Under the current system, the vetting process is a long and laborious process. First the UN screens them and refers the most vulnerable cases the US for resettlement. If someone has committed a crime, that person doesn't qualify for resettlement. Then the US does its own vetting involving eight federal agencies, six different databases, five separate background checks, four fingerprint and biometric checks, three in-person interviews, two inter-agency checks and a partridge in a pear tree. That takes a lot of time and personnel. A quicker vetting process is needed.

I have developed a quick test to separate those refugees that truly love America from the terrorists bent of our destruction. The test is in the American (not British) language. No Spanish, English, French, Arabic or other versions exist. The refugee must score 100% or is forever banned from entering the USA. This test could be given to large groups at one time to speed up the vetting process. No collusion allowed. I think such an exam might be useful and save time. Below are my suggestions for questions to use to screen out terrorists:

1.Do you love The United States of America? Yes or No? [The only acceptable answer is Yes. The test giver must not say, “Do you love America?” because that might include Central America, and South America.]
2. Have you ever been a suicide bomber? Yes or No? [The only acceptable answer is no.]

3.The first words to the National Anthem are… Pick one.

1. Jose, can you see?
2. Okay, you can pee.
3. Oh, say can you see.
4. Beautiful for spacious skies

[The only acceptable answer is 3.]

4.The best foods to order in a fast food restaurant are… Pick one.

1. Tacos and burritos.
2. Rice and General Tso’s chicken.
3. Gyros and lamb kebabs 
4. Hot dogs and apple pie.

[The only acceptable answer is 4.]

5. If you wanted to buy a car for a car bomb, which would you choose? Pick one.

1. Ford Mustang
2. Volkswagen
3. BMW
4. Rolls Royce

[This is a trick question. There’s no right answer. If the subject selects any answer, he is a terrorist. However, a is the second-best answer. Always buy American.]

6.What is your favorite weapon? Pick only one.

1. AK47
2. Colt Defender
3. RGP
4. Improvised explosive device (IED)
5. Pipe bomb

[The only acceptable answer is 2. Always buy American]

7.What is your favorite sport? Pick one.

1. Football
2. Throwing Molotov Cocktails
3. Throwing stones at police
4. Running away from police.

[The only acceptable answer is 1. Nobody really watches baseball.]

8.Who is considered the Father of the United States? Pick one.

1. Donald Trump
2. Ronald Regan
3. Elvis Presley
4. George Washington

[The only acceptable answer is 4.]

9.Which of the following is not a real freedom under the Bill of Rights? Pick one.

1. Freedom of Religion
2. Freedom of Speech
3. Freedom to live in Massachusetts and vote in Rhode Island
4. Freedom to Bear Arms

 [The only acceptable answer is 3.]

​10.What is the motto of the USA? Pick one.

1. E pluribus unum. Latin for "Out of many, one"
2. Sock it to me. American for “sock it to me.”
3. Carpe Diem. Latin for “Seize the day”
4. BOGO. American for “Buy one, Get one.”

[The only acceptable answer is 1.]

11.If you are mentally ill, what can’t you do in the USA?
  1. Run for President.
  2. Figure out how to put together Ikea furniture.
  3. Buy a gun.
  4. Drive a car.
  5. Get Married.  

​[The only acceptable answer is 2.]
​
Failing this test means the refugee doesn’t love the USA and most likely is a terrorist that should be banned from entering the country.

A while back, I read on my news feed the 7 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee. The article listed these symptoms: you feel anxious, your stomach hurts, your heart is racing, you have diarrhea, you can’t sleep, you've got the jitters and you get headaches.

As usual, these types of lists always omit some symptoms. Here’s what the list omitted:

You buy coffee colors shirts, so the stains don’t show.
You plant coffee beans in your garden.
Your Starbuck’s bill is more than your electric bill.
You sprinkle ground coffee on your omelets.
You start carrying instant coffee and spoon for a quick pick-me-up instead of a snack.
You start looking for coffee flavoring in all your food.
You can smell a coffee shop one mile away.
Your teeth turn brown.
Use start using a needle to inject the coffee directly into your blood stream.
You think hospital coffee tastes good.
You buy coffee by the bushel
​
If you have any of these symptoms, you may need an intervention.
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