It seems that the US has just one problem after another and crisis following crisis. All these problems cry out for a solution. Usually the solution is counter-intuitive, simple but difficult, or oblivious (the gorilla in the room).
A major problem is overcrowded prisons. Prisons are filled beyond capacity. I have analyzed this situation and concluded that too many people in prison cause the overcrowding. Once again, there is a simple solution. Here are my recommendations to relieve crowded conditions in prisons:
1. Immediately release all the innocent prisoners. The innocent are easy to fine. The prisoners know who is innocent. Gather all the inmates together and ask those who are innocent to raise their hand. Free everyone who raises his or her hand. This should eliminate about 95% of the inmates.
2. Assisted Suicide. Offer all inmates the option of assisted suicide. Officials should help all inmates who wish to end their miserable existence. Options available might include firing squad, burning at the stake, hanging, lethal injection, jumping off the San Francisco Bridge, suicide bomber, electrocution, or ruining for public office. If should be done prior to number 1 above.
3. Trail by Combat. Hollywood has made so many movies on this theme that I am surprised no one has recommended we actually implement it. Possible competitions to consider:
a. Gladiator. (Think ultimate fighters with weapons.) Inmates would fight each other to the death; winners to go free. If a single elimination bracken is used, only one inmate would go free and all the others would be dead.
b. Team sports like basketball, soccer, football, etc. (Not baseball. It’s too lame.) Winning team goes free. Losers get option 2 above. Again, use a single elimination bracket. This may include playing golf in a mind field.
c. Fencing with poison tipped rapiers. Inmates won't be allowed any protective gear.
d. Russian Roulette. (Always good for a laugh) Again, use a single elimination bracket.
4. Community Service for Non-violent Crimes. Put all non-violent criminals on community services. Possible service might include scraping gum off public sidewalks (one mile for each year of sentence), picking up goose droppings in public parks (100 pounds for each year of sentence) or removing skunks that invade neighborhoods (this must be done by hand so the animals aren’t injured). (One skunk for each year of sentence.)
A major problem is overcrowded prisons. Prisons are filled beyond capacity. I have analyzed this situation and concluded that too many people in prison cause the overcrowding. Once again, there is a simple solution. Here are my recommendations to relieve crowded conditions in prisons:
1. Immediately release all the innocent prisoners. The innocent are easy to fine. The prisoners know who is innocent. Gather all the inmates together and ask those who are innocent to raise their hand. Free everyone who raises his or her hand. This should eliminate about 95% of the inmates.
2. Assisted Suicide. Offer all inmates the option of assisted suicide. Officials should help all inmates who wish to end their miserable existence. Options available might include firing squad, burning at the stake, hanging, lethal injection, jumping off the San Francisco Bridge, suicide bomber, electrocution, or ruining for public office. If should be done prior to number 1 above.
3. Trail by Combat. Hollywood has made so many movies on this theme that I am surprised no one has recommended we actually implement it. Possible competitions to consider:
a. Gladiator. (Think ultimate fighters with weapons.) Inmates would fight each other to the death; winners to go free. If a single elimination bracken is used, only one inmate would go free and all the others would be dead.
b. Team sports like basketball, soccer, football, etc. (Not baseball. It’s too lame.) Winning team goes free. Losers get option 2 above. Again, use a single elimination bracket. This may include playing golf in a mind field.
c. Fencing with poison tipped rapiers. Inmates won't be allowed any protective gear.
d. Russian Roulette. (Always good for a laugh) Again, use a single elimination bracket.
4. Community Service for Non-violent Crimes. Put all non-violent criminals on community services. Possible service might include scraping gum off public sidewalks (one mile for each year of sentence), picking up goose droppings in public parks (100 pounds for each year of sentence) or removing skunks that invade neighborhoods (this must be done by hand so the animals aren’t injured). (One skunk for each year of sentence.)
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