I got this from a friend. I don't know the author but I thought that it was cute. It was originally for being over 50 but I changed it to 60. I don't remember who sent it to me.
Being Over 60 has its Advantages:
1. Kidnappers aren't interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. People call at 9 am and ask, “Did I wake you?”
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
7. You can live without sex but not glasses.
8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
9. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks by.
12.You sing along with the elevator music.
13. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
14. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists that the National Weather Service.
15. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
16. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
17. You can't remember who sent you this.
You probably have a few to add. Let's see them. I added these:
18. You can tell the old jokes because young people haven't heard them.
19. You can no longer hear your nagging spouse.
20. You now have an excuse for driving with your turn signal on.
21. You can eat, drink and smoke anything you want because you don't have long to live anyway.
Being Over 60 has its Advantages:
1. Kidnappers aren't interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. People call at 9 am and ask, “Did I wake you?”
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
7. You can live without sex but not glasses.
8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
9. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks by.
12.You sing along with the elevator music.
13. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
14. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists that the National Weather Service.
15. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
16. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
17. You can't remember who sent you this.
You probably have a few to add. Let's see them. I added these:
18. You can tell the old jokes because young people haven't heard them.
19. You can no longer hear your nagging spouse.
20. You now have an excuse for driving with your turn signal on.
21. You can eat, drink and smoke anything you want because you don't have long to live anyway.
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