Monte R Anderson - Author
  • Monte's Blog
  • About Monte
    • Monte's Resume
    • Monte's Bio
  • Fiction
    • Novels and Books >
      • Night Predator
      • The Clone Murders
      • Angels and Gargoyles
      • Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardos da Vinci's Mentor
      • The Register Cliff Rapist
    • Short Stories >
      • The Tyranny of GPS
      • Ash Wednesday Storm of 1962
      • Good Neighbors
      • What God Hath Joined
    • Plays/Screenplays >
      • St. Michael & Job
      • How to Write a Screenplay for a TV Detective Show
      • Detective Show Spoof
      • Angels and Gargoyles Screenplay
      • Archimedes of Syracuse Screenplay
  • Non-Fiction
    • Leadership for New Managers: Book Two
    • Facility Management Series: Types of Maitenance Programs
  • Stories from Elmira

There Are Some Advantages to Being Over 60

3/9/2015

0 Comments

 
I got this from a friend. I don't know the author but I thought that it was cute. It was originally for being over 50 but I changed it to 60. I don't remember who sent it to me.




Being Over 60 has its Advantages:

1. Kidnappers aren't interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. People call at 9 am and ask, “Did I wake you?”

4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

5. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

6. Things you buy now won't wear out.

7. You can live without sex but not glasses.

8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

9. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks by.

12.You sing along with the elevator music.

13. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

14. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists that the National Weather Service.

15. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

16. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

17. You can't remember who sent you this.

You probably have a few to add. Let's see them. I added these:

18. You can tell the old jokes because young people haven't heard them.

19. You can no longer hear your nagging spouse.

20. You now have an excuse for driving with your turn signal on.

21. You can eat, drink and smoke anything you want because you don't have long to live anyway.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com

    Buy Monte's e-books:
    A Head for Murder
    The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

    FREE E-BOOKS:
    Angels and Gargoyles

    LINKS
    linkedin.com
    twitter.com
    brandyourself.com










    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.