I read with interest an article by Angels Haupt in US News and World Report, “9 Signs You Should Fire Your Doctor.” As usual in these type of article, the author left out many other reasons. I have repeated the nine reasons listed in the article followed by the other 20 additional reasons to changes doctors. Keep in mind that the pronoun “He” could also be “She,” “Transgender,” “No Gender,” or “Unknown.”
1. You don’t mesh.
2. He doesn’t respect your time.
3. He keeps you in the dark
4. He doesn’t listen.
5. The office is unprofessional.
6. You don’t feel comfortable with him or wonder about his competence.
7. He doesn’t coordinate with other doctors.
8. He’s unreachable.
9. He’s rude or condescending.
My 20 additional reasons to changes doctors:
1. The doc has cold hands.
2. The doc has large hands.
3. The kids in the waiting room all look like him.
4. The doc has cameras and lights set up in the exam room.
5. The doc got his/her medical license online.
6. Patients call the head nurse, “Nurse Ratched”.
7. The doc’s first question is if you’re an organ donor.
8. The doc keeps calling you by the wrong last name.
9. The doc tries to sell you drugs under the counter.
10. The doc googles your symptoms on his computer while you describe them.
11. The doc tells you that you remind him of his/her ex who he/she hates.
12. The doc writes you a prescription for marijuana before he asks you anything.
13. The DEA is in the waiting room.
14. The doc’s latex gloves have holes in them.
15. The doc talks to an imaginary friend in the office.
16. The doc pulls out a thermometer from his pocket to write a prescription.
17. There’s a picture on the doc’s desk of him with Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman.
18. The name of the medical school on the doc’s diploma is misspelled.
19. When you say you want a second opinion, the doc pulls out a sock puppet.
20. The doc keeps referring to the “Hypocritical” Oath.
Any one of these reasons could be a red flag that says, “Time to change doctors.”
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