Well I blew it ...again. Yesterday was my wife’s birthday and she was not pleased with the gifts I gave her. I am clueless when it comes to buying gifts. I wrote this short story with that in mind. It is a little long so I posted it in three parts. Parts 1 & 2 were posted already. Scroll down if you missed them. Here is the final part 3. Enjoy.
Part 3 (Final)
“Hello, I am Jane, the Manager of the Jewelry Department. As you know, buying jewelry is a tough decision. Women have particular tastes in jewelry with many types and styles, and. We recommended that you take a picture of all your wife’s jewelry and her more dresser clothes. That way we can match up her style with her outfits for the perfect gift.”
“Wow! You people think of everything.”
“Yes, Roy,” said John. “and that is why the interview is so important. We will ask you about whether your wife has pierced ear or not, for example, her preference for gold or silver, her ring sizes, and so forth. We have to be thorough.”
“I don’t think I even know all that.”
“No, but you can find out. The interview is just a process. We continually improve upon our data base. Every purchase you make is recorded as well as the results. Then we can improve on your next purchase.”
“My problem is,” said Roy, “that I am always forgetting dates of anniversaries, and things.”
“Not any more, Roy,” said Jane. “It all goes into our data base. Then, a week before you need a gift, we send you a reminder. We can even select the gift and card for you and deliver it to your office already wrapped. You just take it home and give to your wife.”
“Now step this way into our Clothing Department,” said John as he pointed the way.
“Oh, I steer away from clothes. I’m just no good at selected clothes for my wife.”
“No man is,” answered John. “However, it is our specialty. We can make this work for you. True story – We once had a customer who insisted that he did not need our help to buy clothes. One day he picked out a nice outfit for his wife. It was lovely, the correct size, and she loved it. Two weeks later he took her to a company social function. His secretary was there wearing the identical outfit. Needless to say, our client was soon divorced.”
“Oh my gosh! Was it a coincident or was he having an affair?”
“I don’t know, Roy, but it was an avoidable mistake either way. During our interview process, along with recording your wife’s sizes, we will ask you what magazines your wife reads. That will tell us what she has been exposed to and a little about her style tastes and expectations. Then when you buy clothes, we make sure it is something she has seen in her magazines.
“You can tell what a woman wants by the magazines she reads?”
“You would be surprised, Roy. Our research has developed entire lines of clothes for women who read, for example, Vogue, Business Week, or Field and Stream. We even have a line for People readers and National Geographic. Very predictable and very accurate.”
“What about Playboy?” asked Roy.
“Don’t go there, I am telling you. It is a minefield. Forget it!”
“It all sounds expensive.”
John smiled, “Can you put a price on happiness? Now, if you are still interested, we can start the interview process and maybe recommend something today. Are you ready?’
Roy nodded, “Sounds good. I’ll do it!”
“Great!” said John, “Follow me then.”
THE END
Part 3 (Final)
“Hello, I am Jane, the Manager of the Jewelry Department. As you know, buying jewelry is a tough decision. Women have particular tastes in jewelry with many types and styles, and. We recommended that you take a picture of all your wife’s jewelry and her more dresser clothes. That way we can match up her style with her outfits for the perfect gift.”
“Wow! You people think of everything.”
“Yes, Roy,” said John. “and that is why the interview is so important. We will ask you about whether your wife has pierced ear or not, for example, her preference for gold or silver, her ring sizes, and so forth. We have to be thorough.”
“I don’t think I even know all that.”
“No, but you can find out. The interview is just a process. We continually improve upon our data base. Every purchase you make is recorded as well as the results. Then we can improve on your next purchase.”
“My problem is,” said Roy, “that I am always forgetting dates of anniversaries, and things.”
“Not any more, Roy,” said Jane. “It all goes into our data base. Then, a week before you need a gift, we send you a reminder. We can even select the gift and card for you and deliver it to your office already wrapped. You just take it home and give to your wife.”
“Now step this way into our Clothing Department,” said John as he pointed the way.
“Oh, I steer away from clothes. I’m just no good at selected clothes for my wife.”
“No man is,” answered John. “However, it is our specialty. We can make this work for you. True story – We once had a customer who insisted that he did not need our help to buy clothes. One day he picked out a nice outfit for his wife. It was lovely, the correct size, and she loved it. Two weeks later he took her to a company social function. His secretary was there wearing the identical outfit. Needless to say, our client was soon divorced.”
“Oh my gosh! Was it a coincident or was he having an affair?”
“I don’t know, Roy, but it was an avoidable mistake either way. During our interview process, along with recording your wife’s sizes, we will ask you what magazines your wife reads. That will tell us what she has been exposed to and a little about her style tastes and expectations. Then when you buy clothes, we make sure it is something she has seen in her magazines.
“You can tell what a woman wants by the magazines she reads?”
“You would be surprised, Roy. Our research has developed entire lines of clothes for women who read, for example, Vogue, Business Week, or Field and Stream. We even have a line for People readers and National Geographic. Very predictable and very accurate.”
“What about Playboy?” asked Roy.
“Don’t go there, I am telling you. It is a minefield. Forget it!”
“It all sounds expensive.”
John smiled, “Can you put a price on happiness? Now, if you are still interested, we can start the interview process and maybe recommend something today. Are you ready?’
Roy nodded, “Sounds good. I’ll do it!”
“Great!” said John, “Follow me then.”
THE END
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