f you have ever been #unemployed and looked for a position you know about elevator pitches. They're those 30-second speeches that you can rattle off on a second's notice anywhere, anytime. It comes in handy when you're caught off guard and aren't sure what to say when someone asks, “What do you do?” Once you write it and practice it to perfection, you can go looking for an elevator and ride up and down until a hiring manager gets in. Now you may wonder how to start a conversation when you're finally in an elevator with a hiring manager. One way to break the ice is to ask, “Did you fart?” When the hiring manager answers, start your elevator pitch. Riding up and down in elevators is a little too obvious. It's enough to make managers take the stairs. I have found you have a better chance if you hang around the restroom. When the proper manager arrives to pee, start your speech. They are a captive audience, at least for the time it takes to make your pitch.
Hiring managers get a little bored at hearing elevator speeches in elevators or restrooms so I recommend the non-elevator speech. Rewrite your pitch so it doesn't sound like a pitch. Here is an example that I used when I was seeking a position as a writer:
“Hi, my name is Monte. I'm sorry. I guess you thought I was going to give you an elevator pitch. No, I wouldn't do that. I just here here to mingle and relax. I could though. I mean, I'm a writer so I could write an elevator pitch if I wanted to. I have good presentation skills so I'm sure I could recite the pitch perfectly. After all, I have published seven e-books and I'm currently working on a novel. I find writing is a good way to utilize my masters degree and vast experience. I could even write it with others since I'm such a good team player. I won't bore you with all the details of my work history or the numerous articles I have written for magazines. Unless, of course, you're interested. Another time perhaps. Here is my card. Oh, I've attached my resume to it in case you're hiring. Bye.”
I should warn you that I never got hired. Go figure.
Hiring managers get a little bored at hearing elevator speeches in elevators or restrooms so I recommend the non-elevator speech. Rewrite your pitch so it doesn't sound like a pitch. Here is an example that I used when I was seeking a position as a writer:
“Hi, my name is Monte. I'm sorry. I guess you thought I was going to give you an elevator pitch. No, I wouldn't do that. I just here here to mingle and relax. I could though. I mean, I'm a writer so I could write an elevator pitch if I wanted to. I have good presentation skills so I'm sure I could recite the pitch perfectly. After all, I have published seven e-books and I'm currently working on a novel. I find writing is a good way to utilize my masters degree and vast experience. I could even write it with others since I'm such a good team player. I won't bore you with all the details of my work history or the numerous articles I have written for magazines. Unless, of course, you're interested. Another time perhaps. Here is my card. Oh, I've attached my resume to it in case you're hiring. Bye.”
I should warn you that I never got hired. Go figure.
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