Monte R Anderson - Author
  • Monte's Blog
  • About Monte
    • Monte's Resume
    • Monte's Bio
  • Fiction
    • Novels and Books >
      • Night Predator
      • The Clone Murders
      • Angels and Gargoyles
      • Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardos da Vinci's Mentor
      • The Register Cliff Rapist
    • Short Stories >
      • The Tyranny of GPS
      • Ash Wednesday Storm of 1962
      • Good Neighbors
      • What God Hath Joined
    • Plays/Screenplays >
      • St. Michael & Job
      • How to Write a Screenplay for a TV Detective Show
      • Detective Show Spoof
      • Angels and Gargoyles Screenplay
      • Archimedes of Syracuse Screenplay
  • Non-Fiction
    • Leadership for New Managers: Book Two
    • Facility Management Series: Types of Maitenance Programs
  • Stories from Elmira

Can You Hear me Now?

1/30/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
She marched into the airport lobby with that purposeful gait of a young, female professional very much in control and commanding attention but pretending not to notice it so much as to expect it. He couldn’t help being aware of her as she sat down in the row of seats opposite him. She saw him when she first came into the lobby. Who wouldn’t; he was a hottie. She had to look at him only once, and then she avoided looking his direction. She knew he would be watching her. She always knew. He continued to watch her as she settled in: removed her coat, checked her ticket, checked her watch and took out her cell phone.
     She turned on her phone and reviewed her messages. Nothing. He should have called by now. He knows I hate that. He will have some lame excuse, I am sure. She checked her watch again. He should be awake by now. She highlighted his number and pushed the “Talk” button.
     She waited several rings for him to pick up. Finally, she said, “Hello, Sweetheart. Good morning. Did I wake you? How are you? I am okay too. No, I am at the airport and I have some time, so I thought I would like to hear your voice. I missed you last night.” She listened for a minute and then said, “You were going to call me last night. What happened?” She listened again.
     He stopped watching her to take out his own cell phone. He took out the microphone, stuck the earpiece in his ear, and dialed from memory.
     She heard something and blurted, “Is that a cell phone I hear in the background? Where are you?”
     “Good morning, Beautiful.” he said in that tone of voice that she liked so much early in the morning. “I’m fine. How are you? No, I’m still at the airport. My flight was delayed.”
     “Who’s with you?” she demanded in a voice a too loud for privacy.
     “Why are you whispering? Where are you?” he asked.
     “You bastard!” she said half shouting. “You told me you had to work late. You slept together and had sex, didn’t you? No, it’s not the same thing! After all this time, you sneak behind my back and sleep with your wife.” She paused and lowered her voice a couple of octaves. “I know that sounds stupid, but you know what I mean.”
     “What do you mean he’s there?” He felt his anger rising, and he hoped that she would hear it in his voice. “What the hell is he doing there?”
     She stood up and began to walk in small circles, oblivious to the people around her. “You told me that you had separated. You said you’d never go back to her. You lied to me.”
Now he is shouting, “Where is he now? In the bathroom? You mean the master bathroom in your bedroom?”
     Fighting back tears she said, “You didn’t have to sleep with her. You could’ve slept on the couch.”
     He shouted again, “You slept with him, didn’t you? You could’ve thrown him out.”
     She accused him over the phone, “You had sex with Judy! Don’t lie to me.”
     Gesturing, he said, “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You said you hated Bob. You said you couldn’t stand to be around him. So now, you sleep with him?”
     Speaking in a calmer voice, she asked, “Bob, did you tell her about me? You said you would. You promised!”
     He sat back in his seat and asked, “You didn’t tell him about me, did you?”
     She listened for a while and then said, “Yes, I’m mad. I’m so pissed! I can’t deal with this! This is too much. You can’t treat me this way. I’m not shouting! Okay, I’ll listen.”
     After he listened, he replied, “Judy, did you at least file for divorce? You said that last month.”
     She said, “I understand that you feel sorry for her but what about me?
     He said, “I know you feel sorry for him, but that is no excuse.”
     Finally, she said, “Look, just get dressed and leave the house. We’ll talk about it later.”
     Finally, he said, “Okay, just get rid of him and call me back.”
     They ended their calls and put their phones away. He glanced at her as she pulled out a book to read. When she glanced his direction, he looked at his watch and pretended not to notice. They sat in silence and thought about what a mess their lives are.
     She looked at him over the top of her book. I hope he is on my flight; my luck might change.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments

How to Build Better Humans

1/27/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
The TV series, The Six Million Dollar Man, started each show with the quote, "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better...stronger...faster." Well we now have the technology to design the future human species – better than before.
 
Science is very close to completing the DNA sequencing and genome mapping of the species Homo sapiens. Once that is mastered, we can begin to create life and create a more perfect human being. In the very near future, we will be able to bring to life more environmental friendly and efficient people. Whether we’ll call them “people” remains to be seen. It’s important that we begin to discuss what we want in a perfect species to replace humans as we know them.
 
Obviously, we can’t continue to exist in this fashion in an increasingly unfriendly environment. Many parts of our bodies no longer serve a purpose: appendix, body hair, vomeronasal organ in the nose (detects pheromones), wisdom teeth, auricular muscles in the ear lobe (lets some of us wiggle out ears), coccyx (tailbone) erector pili muscles (causes goose bumps) and male nipples.
Unless there’s significant changes, homo sapiens will become as extinct as dinosaurs.
 
For discussion, lets started at the head and work down.
 
The Head: Let’s face it; our current heads are a mess.
 
·         Vision: We have two eyes in front which allows for depth perception. It’s characteristic of predators. However, it leaves us vulnerable to the sides where our peripheral is weak and blind to the rear and top. Our night vision sucks too. The man of the future should have eyes like a spider on top of the head with enhanced night vision.
 
·         Sense of Smell: The nose is poorly designed. It allows to smell our food just before we eat it but has a limited range and capability. It should be forked since most people talk that way anyway. By adding 12 inches will extend the range; one fork for smelling and one for temperature readings.
 
·         Sense of Taste: The sense of taste is very limited which explains why so many people have such “bad taste.” The average person has about 10,000 taste buds that can detect only sweet, salty, sour, bitter, or umami taste (“savory”) unlike catfish which typically have more than 100,000 taste buds. Humans of the future can be designed with 100,000 taste buds on their hands. They’ll be able to tell how “good” another person is with just a handshake.
 
·         Hearing: Our sense of hearing is so poor, we must use head phones or ear pieces to hear. As we age, our hearing goes. Modern microphones are very tiny. The human of the future doesn’t need ears shaped like airplane wings to hear. A small hole will work. Let’s face it; we use our ears mainly for holding our glasses and jewelry. No need for that nonsense in the future.
 
·         Voice: Our mouths get us into a lot of trouble. We speak our mind anytime and anywhere without much forethought to what we are saying. That will be solved by removing the vocal cords. Futures man will communicant telepathically without speaking. The mouth will be made as wide as the foot to ensure an easy fit.
 
Neck: Our current necks have a limited range of motion. Future man will be able to rotate his neck 180 degrees like an owl.
 
Heart: The human body was originally designed with redundant parts: arms, legs, eyes, ears, kidneys, etc. Even the brain has two parts. Fortunately, we have only one mouth. However, we currently have only one heart. WTF? When that heart fails – we’re done. Humans of the future will have two hearts.
 
Arms: How many times have you been working on something and suddenly realized you could use another hand or arm? No kidding. Two arms are too few. Three arms would be ideal but it would make designing clothes awkward. Four arms is the best solution.
 
Hands: Let’s face it; you need an apposable thumb. The thumb allows humans to grasp things and to beat the hell out of others. The index finger is need to point the way and to type slowly. The middle finger is used for obscene gestures. I  a future world there’d be no need for the middle finger. The ring finger and pinky finger are along just for the ride. A future human would have three fingers. Gone too will be finger nails. We won’t need claws. One of the future fingers will have a sticky surface for picking up small objects.
 
Legs: Having only two legs has always been a burden for humans. While must critters learn to walk within hours of their births, humans take a year and some never master it. Three legs would be more stable, but three legs would cause problems for clothes designs. Four legs would give future humans a more stable and efficient design not to mention saving wear and tear on knees. The knee joint was never a good design. The legs should be like spider legs with the body setting much lower below the level of the knees. This lowers the center of gravity making the body almost impossible to fall or trip. This would also be the natural position for standing, sitting, and sleeping. Thus, we would eliminate the need for chairs, beds and most furniture in general.
 
Feet: There was a time when our ancestors use their feet to grasp tree limbs. No longer. Our current design is practically useless. The human of the future won’t have feet. Instead of feet, we’ll have hooves. Makes more sense. What good are toes? They always seem to be in the way. We stub them, smash them and paint the nails. They stink, they hurt and they over heat. The future human won’t have any toes.
 
Brain: Obviously, the brain is much too small. As we age, our brains become full and lose memory space. Thus, the brain begins to dump old memories to make room for new ones. Like the future heart, the brain needs redundancy. We need a second brain. The second brain will give us a second opinion before we speak and make fools of our future selves. Future man will have two much bigger brains with a much great memory capacity.
 
Hair: I’m sure that hair served a purpose at one time but now we try to shave it off. The human of the future will be hairless – totally. That’ll save a lot of time and expense now wasted o grooming hair.
 
Reproduction system: Let’s face facts. Despite what the movies and TV tell us, sex is a messy affair. It also consumes a lot of time that could be used in more productive endeavors. There’s no need for it. Babies can be born in test tubes with better results. The pleasure from sex is short lived. The human of the future will not have sex and thus won’t have sex organs. A larger brain will allow for more pleasure without sex. In fact, there won’t be males or females. There will be just one gender. This will solve a lot of issues we currently have.
 
Digestive System: Our digestive tract isn’t the greatest. Regardless of what we eat, we never know what will come out; might be a river or a cow pile. Rabbits and deer do it right. Their poop comes out as small pellets. Future humans will crap pellets like rabbits – much more tidy. This will be facilitated by eating only kale.
 
I know this is a lot to take in but we must start now before some Dr. Frankenstein builds a monster.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments

The Mystique of Manhood

1/23/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
The Women’s March in Washington, D.C has motivated me to write an exposé that’ll blow the lid off the code of silence (bro code) of the brotherhood of men. I can no longer abide with the cover up and fraud that men have perpetuated upon women. At the risk of losing my subscription to Esquire Magazine, I’ll debunk the myths and misconceptions of the mystique of manhood. It’ll be a tell all, name names (like Thomas, Richard and Harry) and scandalous mea culpa. In all fairness, I want to give my followers and fans, especially the male ones, fair warning and a preview of what to except when my exposé explodes upon the public. I’m sure I will receive hate mail and threats from my fellow males for violating the bro code. Sorry guys, but the time has come. Our women have spoken. Here’s a preview:
 
Myth Number 1: Men leave the toilet seat up as a way of marking their territory.
The Truth: Men can’t remember to put the seat down. At a very early age, men learn not to pee on the toilet lid and/or seat, so they remember to raise them. However, whenever men manage to get 80% of their urine into the toilet, they are so proud of themselves that they forget to put the seat down. Sorry.
 
Myth Number 2: Men will never admit when they are wrong.
The Truth: Okay, I got nothing. This one is true. Wait! Did I just admit that I was wrong? Maybe there is something here. I’ll get back to you on this. However, men don’t like to be embarrassed in front of women.
 
Myth Number 3: Men have an unerring sense of direction and won’t admit when they’re lost.
The Truth: Men are no better at directions than women are. There, I said it! Why don’t men admit when they are lost and ask for directions? See Myth Number 2. When driving alone, men will seek out another brother and ask for directions. When driving with a female, some men will drive around for hours hoping their female passenger will recognize a landmark. Women navigate by landmarks.
 
Myth Number 3: Men like to barbeque.
The Truth: This one is easy to debunk. Men like meat and will eat almost any meat whether it’s cooked or not (except sushi). The truth is that since men came out of caves walking upright, fire has fascinated them. Sometimes men will go out and start the grill just to watch it burn without anything cooking.
 
Myth Number 4: Men are poor dressers.
The Truth: Not True! Men know how to dress. However, men do like to be the center of attention. The best way to do that is to wear something inappropriate. Men have been known to wear black socks with sandals just to get attention from significant others (and daughters).
 
Myth Number 5: Men don’t like Opera.
The Truth: Not true. Men admire opera. We thought her show was good, and her O Magazine has articles that even men can enjoy. Oh, wait. Did I say Opera? I meant to say Oprah. My mistake. Sorry. Never mind.
 
Myth Number 6: Men have trouble expressing their feelings.
The Truth: Bull crap! Men have no problem expressing their feelings... to other men. Whenever men gather in small groups for poker or golf, the conversation always turns to feelings. Men perpetuate the idea that they talk about women in these gathering, but it’s simply not the case. Men think that expressing feelings with women is a sign of weakness, so they don’t do it. In addition, it usually starts a long conversation, and men do hate long conversations.
 
Myth Number 7: Men are good at killing bugs and spiders.
The Truth: Another myth. Men are afraid of bugs and spiders too. People believe that since men are supposed to be hunters that they enjoy killing bugs. Men got over that a long time ago. They hate to be the one to kill them. To look heroic in front of women, men will stock and ritually kill pieces of lint and dust bunnies. I know some men that save those fake plastic spiders from Halloween and scatter them around the house. This goes back to men wanting to be the center of attention – Myth 4.
 
Myth Number 8: Men are better than women are at math.
The Truth: Not true. Only women have the ability to multiply. Case closed.
 
Myth Number 9. When a sexy woman walks by, the first thing men look at is her butt.
The Truth: Simply not true. I think I can speak for all men when I say this. When a sexy woman walks by, the first thing I look at is the back of her head. Then I ask myself, “I wonder if she has a brain to go along with that really nice ass?”
 
Myth Number 10. Men are afraid of commitment.
The Truth: Also not true. Men aren’t afraid of commitment – they are afraid of women. All women scare the hell out of us.
 
Myth Number 11. Men like dogs better than cats.
The Truth: It’s not that men like dogs better than cats – they don’t. It’s just that men get excited and confused when women ask men if they would like a little “pussy.” The conversation never ends well. It is easier to talk about dogs, although they can be bitches too.
Myth Number 12: Men don’t have close friends the way women do.
The Truth: This is another popular myth perpetuated by men. All men have a secret Facebook page. On that page, they have many friends including ex-girlfriends/wives, your sisters, and that good-looking divorcee next door. They also have secret Twitter, Linkedin and Pinterest accounts.
 
Myth Number 13: Men don’t listen.
The Truth: I’m sorry. What were you saying?
 
Myth Number 14: Men aren’t sincere when they say they are sorry and it won’t happen again.
The Truth: Okay, there’s a nugget of truth in this myth. Let’s face it - men are stubborn. The truth is that by the time men finally get around to saying they’re sorry, they’ve forgotten what they’re sorry about, so they just say the words.
 
Myth Number 15. Men will cheat if given the opportunity.
The Truth: Okay, this is basically true. However, women must share part of the blame. If there were no women to cheat with, men would not cheat.
 
Myth Number 16. Men don’t cry.
The Truth: Absolutely false. Men do cry; for example, when our favorite sports team loses, or our Alma Mater loses, or the best player on one of our teams gets traded. Men just don’t cry in public or in front of women.
 
Myth Number 17. Men don’t have feelings.
The Truth: Men do have feelings. For example, we feel hunger.
 
Myth Number 18. Men don’t like to hug other men.
The Truth: This is another myth. Men hug as long as they can slap each other hard on the back.
 
Myth Number 19: Men have fragile egos.
The Truth: I resemble that remark. I couldn’t disagree more. Our egos are just find if no one hurts our feelings.
 
Myth Number 20: Men are basically color blind.
The Truth: Okay, this one is basically true. Of course, there are some exceptional men who are fashion designers and interior decorators. The rest of us have no idea what teal, periwinkle, mauve, marsala and ochre are.
 
I hope this helps you women who are trying to understand men. My expose may be published soon.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com


0 Comments

Angels and Gargoyles, a Free E-Book

1/19/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
I have an e-book that I give away for free. I haven’t mentioned it lately, so I thought I would now. The name is Angels and Gargoyles.  Here’s a synopsis:

Angels and Gargoyles is a story about a romance among heavenly hosts; a beauty and the beast type love story. It tells how two of God's workers, for unexplainable reasons, fall in love, much to the chagrin of St. Peter. They meet while Garth is fighting demons that are stealing baby’s soul and Three is assigning guardian angels to protect the babies. These angels are hopelessly outnumbered. St. Peter orders Garth to work with Three to computerize the angels. They are the two most unlikely pair for romance to begin with; angels are more beautiful while gargoyles are worldlier. The two desire to become husband and wife, an unheard event in heaven. St. Peter objects to the union and forbids the marriage. How can a forbidden love survive in the face of so much evil? How can they convince the ranking saint in heaven to approve their relationship let alone their marriage?

To get a free copy of this novella, go http:/smashwords.com/b/149430

​For e-books by me, visit
http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com ​or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

0 Comments

Part 3 of Chapter 5 from Archimedes of Syracuse, a Historical Novel

1/16/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Here’s the last part of a chapter form my historical novel, Archimedes of Syracuse. Previously I posted a chapter concerning one of the legends about Archimedes. This chapter is about the legend of Archimedes pulling a ship out of dry dock single handedly.  It’s a little long for a blog, so I’ve broken it down in parts. If you missed Part 1 & 2, scroll down. Archimedes lived in Syracuse on the island of Sicily where he worked for King Hieron, a tyrant. Many of the details of his legends are vague, so in my novel, I tried to fill in logical details. Enjoy.
 
Back in the throne room, the King addresses Archimedes, “Archimedes, I must confess I thought you had made an idle boast but you were right, and I was wrong. I did not trust you. Your father, Phidias, was not only my chief advisor, he was a close friend. I admired his intelligence, and trusted his judgment implicitly. I miss him a lot. You, on the other hand, I did not trust until today. You had not proven yourself the man your father was. Now, I realize, I was wrong. You are greater than your father. You have earned my trust and my friendship.”

“Thank you, my Lord.”

“I want you to join me in celebrating the launching of the Syracusia by dining with me in the palace. I am sending you to Alexandria on the Syracusia as soon as it is ready to sail. I want Barnacle to go with you. He will train the new crew from Alexandria. You can visit the Library and the Museum. Stay as long as King Ptolemy desires.”

“Your word is law.”

“Archimedes,” Queen Philistis says, “May I offer you a word of advice?”

“Of course, your Highness. I would welcome any advice from you.”

“Well, I think this trip to Alexandria is a great opportunity for you. You are not getting any younger, and I think you should consider taking a wife while you are in Alexandria.”

“Yes, your Highness, but why Alexandria, and not here in Syracuse?”

“Archimedes, you are my nephew, and I am concerned for your wellbeing. The truth is, I have been seeking a suitable wife for you for a number of years since your father died, and I have had no success. The women in Syracuse know of you and your reputation, and, quite frankly, they consider you-how shall I say this without offense-somewhat, well, eccentric.”

King Hieron begins to chuckle.

“I have even gone to other cities in Sicily but to no avail. Suitable women there have friends and relatives in Syracuse, and they soon find out about you. I am afraid I have not been able to find you a wife anywhere in Sicily.”

“I am sorry, your Highness. I did not mean to put you to so much trouble.”

“That is not the point. You are family. As near as I can determine, the citizens of Alexandria know of your great work but are not aware of your eccentricities. I think you may have the opportunity to find a wife. I should go with you to help, but I must stay here. You will have to be on your best behavior, and make an impressive appearance.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for example, don’t go running down the streets naked, and don’t forget to bathe. Try to meet with people and socialize. Don’t work so hard. Enjoy your visit, and make new friends.”

“I have many friends in Alexandria already. Many scholars.”

“I mean outside of the Museum.”

“I will try, your highness.”

“And another thing, shave your beard.”

“Why must I shave my beard?”

“It will make you look years younger. You are a good-looking man, but who can see it? Women are attracted to smooth faces.”

“But, your Highness, I will be meeting with scholars from the Museum. Surely…”

Philistis cuts him off, “You will not find a wife in the Museum or Library. You can discuss your mathematics with the scholars after you marry, and let your beard grow, but for now, shave off your beard! That is a command!”

Looking at King Hieron, “Sire, please...”

Snickering, “Don’t drag me into this, Archimedes. My advice is to do whatever she says. That’s what I do. If you don’t, you will never hear the end of it, and you probably won’t ever get married. Just do it.”

“Yes, your highness. Your word is law.”

“Archimedes, my friend, I think she may be right,” says Hieron, “You are representing Syracuse, and we want you to look your best. I have heard that the women in Alexandria are beautiful. Beside it is a great opportunity for you. King Ptolemy himself has requested your presence. You can study at the great Library, and meet the greatest minds in the world. Then you can return, and share that knowledge with Syracuse.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Just bring back some useful ideas and not that nonsense about the world being round and spinning around the sun.”

Archimedes’ mouth drops open, and he stares at the King. He never realized that he knew anything about the secret body of knowledge.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised. King Ptolemy writes to me often, and has told me all about such things.”

Astonished, “You know that the world is not flat?”

“Whether I know it or whether I believe it is of no consequence. Of course, I know it!”

“And that the earth orbits the sun?”

“Again, it is useless knowledge.”

“Useless, sire? It is of monumental proportions! It underscores all that we know of nature. Surely, you can see…”

“Archimedes, I did not mean to offend you, and I do not want to debate the point. What I mean is that it does not make any difference in the manner in which I rule Syracuse. How would it change my life? How will it aid us in battle? Will it add one day to the number of days that the gods have granted me?”

“The gods, sire?”

“Yes, the gods. Zeus favors me because I make sacrifices to him and honor him. He does not seem to care if the world is flat, round or square.”

“But, sire…”

Philistis interrupts, “Please, Archimedes, do not get the King all worked up, and then leave him to me to calm down. Have these debates with your peers at the Museum.”

“Yes, my dear, you are right,” agrees the King. Turning to Archimedes, “You will sail for Alexandria in time for the feast of Ptolemy I.”

“And shave off your beard!” interjects Philistis.

“Your word is law.”
​
The end of Chapter 5
 
To order the entire novel, Archimedes of Syracuse, go to http:/smashwords.com/b/159447.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments

Part 2 of Chapter 5 from Archimedes of Syracuse, a Historical Novel

1/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture

Here’s Part 2 of a chapter form my historical novel, Archimedes of Syracuse. Previously I posted a chapter concerning one of the legends about Archimedes. This chapter is about the legend of Archimedes pulling a ship out of dry dock single handedly.
  It’s a little long for a blog, so I’ve broken it down in parts. If you missed Part 1, scroll down. Archimedes lived in Syracuse on the island of Sicily where he worked for King Hieron, a tyrant. Many of the details of his legends are vague, so in my novel, I tried to fill in logical details. Enjoy.
 
Four days later, Archimedes informs the King that all was ready for the launch. A large crowd has gathered to watch Archimedes make a fool of himself. On the beach, Barnacle and Archimedes have constructed the apparatus to launch the ship. Archimedes determined that one single rope could not hold the weight of the Syracusia. He attached dozens of ropes to special loopholes along the deck, sides, and masts of the ship. Each rope then passes through a compound pulley. The ropes from each pulley go to another set of compound pulleys. The running ends from these pulleys are wound around a capstan so that only one rope comes off the capstan. The rope then goes to one last set of pulleys. The running end goes to a make shift throne that Archimedes has set down by the shore. The keels are raised.

In front of the Syracusia is a greased ramp shaped much like the bottom of the ship. Every rope and pulley is also greased. It is obvious that if the ship can be positioned on the ramp, it might move to the water under its own weight. Getting it onto the ramp is the challenge. The ship is supported, as it had been during construction, on all sides by large support beams. The support beams are cross braced, and anchored so they will not move as the ship travels. Everything is ready. Barnacle approaches Archimedes.

“Everything is in place and working, Archimedes.”

“Thank you, Barnacle. I think we can start.”

“Before you do, shouldn’t I have the crew get off?” pointing to the crew onboard the ship.

“It won’t be necessary.”

“But it will lighten the load.”

“The amount of weight contributed by the crew is small compared to the weight of the ship. I have already included it in my calculations, and I have even allowed for an extra margin.”

Spitting, “Damn it, Archimedes! You are as stubborn as a sea lion. What if your calculations are just slightly off? Should we take that chance?”

“Barnacle, I have rechecked my calculations, and they are not off. This will work. Why do you still doubt me? I recall the story about when you when you escaped from the Mamertine pirates. Can this be worse?”

“It never happened.”

“What?”

“I was never captured by pirates.”

“But I thought…”

“It was all a lie. Your grandfather, Leptines, paid me to tell the City Council that I was captured by pirates. He gave me enough money to buy my own ship. Then he gave me the contract to supply grain to the Romans. That is how I started my business, and made my fortune.”

Archimedes notices that Barnacle is looking him straight in the eyes, “Interesting! But what has that have to do with this?”

“Don’t you see, Archimedes? I am between Scylla and Charcoal.”

“I think you mean Charybdis if you intended the monster.”

“You do know the sea monsters, Charybdis and Scylla, who guard the Strait of Messana? If a ship sails to avoid the one, it is attacked by the other.”

“I know of them vaguely.”

“Well, I owe my business and my livelihood to your family and the King. If I do not do this, the King will seize all my ships and goods. If I attempt it but fail, it will be bad for my business. Everyone will take me for a mollusk, and refuse to do business with me. I will be shipwrecked.”

“And if we succeed, you will have more business than you can handle. That is the risk we must take. You are a businessman and a sailor, you surely understand risk. Beside, you are a barnacle not a mollusk.”

Ignoring the last remark, “Yes, I understand risk but I have never taken a risk this great. I prayed to Poseidon this morning. I even prayed to Berenice. If you fail, people will just laugh at you, but I will be ruined.” Spitting onto the sand, “Let’s get it over with.”

“Who is Berenice?”

“I will explain later. Go ahead. My life is in your hands.”

Archimedes asks King Hieron to come, and sit on the throne on the beach. Grudgingly, King Hieron marches to the throne, and sits down, shaking sand out of his sandals.

In a voice so low that only Archimedes can hear, “Archimedes, if you embarrass me in front of my subjects, it will not go well for you.”

“Not to worry, sire.”

Once the King sits down, Archimedes picks up the rope. A hush comes over the crowd as Archimedes pulls the slack out of the rope. Barnacle darts back and forth from one side of the ship to the other checking support beams, ropes, and pulleys. Archimedes pulls one arm’s length of rope, and the capstan begins to rotate, pulling the slack out of the three running ends wrapped around it, but the ship does not budge. Archimedes reaches out his other arm, grips the rope, and pulls. The capstan turns again; pulling the lines between the sets of pulleys taut but the ship stills does not budge. Archimedes pulls again. Finally, the slack in the ropes between the final set of pulley and the ship tighten. The ship still does not stir.

People in the crowd begin to laugh and snicker. Archimedes reaches for another arm’s length of rope and pulls. The capstan turns, all the pulleys rotate, the hemp ropes stretch and vibrate rapidly, but the ship does not move. Barnacle scurries faster around the ship, trips, and falls face first in the sand. The crowd roars with laughter. The King shifts in his seat. Barnacle sits up but remains sitting in the sand, spitting sand out of his mouth. At this point he has done all he can do--the rest is up to Archimedes. Archimedes takes up another arm’s length of rope as all the ropes tighten, and continue to stretch. He pulls again, and this time the ship starts to stir.

It moves slowly at first but as Archimedes continues to pull it picks up speed. The crowd hushes, and pushes closer, not sure if the ship had moved or not. Once the crowd realizes that the ship has, in fact, moved, they start to cheer. The King leaps out of his throne in the excitement. Several times he jumps up and down, and claps his hands. He hugs Archimedes, and slaps him on the back several times.

“We have done it! We have done it!”

”We?” says Barnacle under his breath as he spits into the sand.

“Of course we have, sire,” replies Archimedes. “Here,” handing the rope to the King, “You try.”

The King takes the rope in both hands. Archimedes moves toward the water’s edge.

“No, sire. Try it sitting down on the throne, and just use one hand.”

The King sits down, and takes the rope in one hand. He stares at the rope for a minute. He had expected the tension to be greater but in his hand, it feels not much tighter than the reins of a horse. The crowd grows quiet again in anticipation.

“Pull, sire,” yells Archimedes.

The King pulls the rope toward him. He is astonished that it takes so little effort. The crowd cheers as the ship resumes its journey toward the water. He pulls again, and the crowd cheers louder, picking up the chant, “Pull! Pull!” Encouraged by the crowd, the King pulls one arm’s length after another, faster and faster. One pulley snaps loose, and its ropes go slack but the progress continues. Support beams begin to fall as the ship starts to enter the ramp. Still he pulls, and the crowd cheers. The ship comes up onto the ramp, and begins to slide toward the water under its own weight, but the King keeps pulling the rope. Soon his lap and feet are covered with rope.

The King does not stop until the ship splashes into the water. Crewmembers onboard quickly throw ropes to men on the dock to tie the ship to the moorings. The people of Syracuse have never seen such a feat. The crowd rushes the King and Archimedes, patting them on the back, cheering all the while. Finally, the King raises his arms to silent the crowd. He motions for Archimedes and Barnacle to stand next to him.

“Citizens of Syracuse, today you are witness to the greatness of Syracuse, and the wisdom of Archimedes. This ship shall be called the Syracusia, and it is intended as a great gift to the King of Alexandria. There is none other like it in the world. There is no other city capable of building a ship like this except Syracuse.
There is no other engineer in the world as great as Archimedes. From this day forth, we will believe anything that Archimedes says. When he says it can be done, it will be done. His word is law. We will build a great fleet of merchant ships that will sail the world, and trade with other kingdoms. The admiral of this fleet will be none other than Barnacle. This is a great day for Syracuse!”
​
The crowd cheers, picks up Archimedes and Barnacle, and carry them back to the palace.
 
To order the entire novel, Archimedes of Syracuse, go to http:/smashwords.com/b/159447.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com
or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments

Part 1 of Chapter 5 from Archimedes of Syracuse, a Historical Novel

1/9/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Here’s another chapter form my historical novel, Archimedes of Syracuse. Previously I posted a chapter concerning one of the legends about Archimedes. This chapter is about the legend of Archimedes pulling a ship out of dry dock single handedly.  It’s a little long for a blog, so I’ve broken it down in parts. Archimedes lived in Syracuse on the island of Sicily where he worked for King Hieron, a tyrant. Many of the details of his legends are vague, so in my novel, I tried to fill in logical details. The narrator is Leonardo da Vinci. Enjoy.

​Chapter 5—The Syracuse (1499, Cesare’s Headquarters)

Leonardo retrieves a document out of the chest, and holds it out to Cesare. “In this document Plutarch wrote about Marcellus, but wrote this note about Archimedes.”

Cesare reads aloud, “Archimedes, however, in writing to King Hiero, whose friend and near relative he was, had stated that given the force, any given weight might be moved, and even boasted, we are told, relying on the strength of demonstration, that if there were another earth, by going into it he could remove this. Hiero being struck with amazement at this, and entreating him to make good this problem by actual experiment, and show some great weight moved by a small engine, he fixed according upon a ship of burden out of the King’s arsenal, which could not be drawn out of the dock without great labour and many men; and, loading her with many passengers and a full freight, sitting himself the while far off, with no great endeavor, but only holding the head of the pulley in his hand, and drawing the cords by degrees, he drew the ship in a straight line, as smoothly, and evenly as if she had been in the sea.”
 
##
 
(249 BCE, in Syracuse)
Archimedes enters the throne room and bows.

“Archimedes, there you are,” says King Hieron. “I have a task for you. King Ptolemy of Alexandria has been a loyal ally, and has supported me in all my efforts. I know that you have been studying floating bodies. I want you to get with Barnacle, and build me the greatest ship ever built.”

“Sire, what type of ship?”

“Well, not a war galley. It will be a gift for King Ptolemy for the feast of his father, the first King of Alexandria. It must be a fitting gift. I was thinking of a merchant ship, perhaps, but something big. Make it the fastest and biggest ship ever built. I will name it the Syracusia”.

“What do you want built into it?”

“It should be able to out sail any ship afloat. I also want it to be able to defend itself against pirates. You figure out the rest, and do not bore me with the details as you usually do. If it works out, we will see how we can adapt it for other uses. Now go.”

“Your word is law.” Archimedes bows, and leaves the room.
 
##
 
For the next six months, Barnacle and Archimedes confer daily. At night, Archimedes builds scale models, and tests them in the public bath. Lagus had recommended it as a veiled way to get Archimedes to bathe. While Archimedes is naked, Lagus removes his tunic, and replaces it with a clean one. It becomes a form of daily entertainment for the men of Syracuse to go to the bath about the time that Archimedes is there, and watch him launch his models into the water. Most consider the models mere toys and Archimedes quite mad. Archimedes makes frequent changes, and launches them repeatedly.

Down at the shoreline near the docks, the ship is beginning to take shape. The ship has three masts, which is unheard. Archimedes determines that the wind would easily tip over a normal ship with three masts. Therefore, he has additional rudders, called keels, attached to each side. They are very long, and reach deep into the water. This makes the ship very stable, and reduces the amount of roll at sea. He also widens the ship to increase buoyancy, and enable it to carry a large cargo.

In addition to the three masts, Barnacle finds that he can add another sail merely by using a triangular sail instead of a square one. The triangular sail is anchored on the top to the forward mast, and the other two corners to each side of the bow. Archimedes adds a boom with a triangular sail to the third mast. The bow sail and the new boom sail are tested on one of Barnacle’ other ships with spectacular results. Archimedes also installs a system of pulleys to help the crew to raise the sails quickly.

A unique crane made with beams and pulleys that can load any type of cargo quickly is installed above a cargo hatch. To help bail water during stormy weather, Archimedes builds bilge pumps consisting of large screws inside wooden pipes. One end is anchored in the lower portions of the ship where water normally accumulates, and the other end exits a hole in the side of the ship. Four are installed, two on each side. Each pump is operated by a man walking on the shaft. The pumps are efficient and effective. Barnacle makes sure that only the finest wood and materials are used.

The Syracusia has five banks of rows, if needed, for extra power. It has two towers on each side to ward off pirates. The Syracuse can carry 400 marines in addition to a full cargo and crew. The towers double as platforms for the cargo cranes. There are a dozen rooms amply furnished for the Royal Family, a bath, and even a small temple.

Finally, the day to launch arrives. It is by far the biggest ship ever built. When the workmen try to pull it into the water, it is too heavy for them. More slaves are added but the ship is still too heavy. When the King sees this, he summons Barnacle and Archimedes to his throne room.

 “Archimedes. It is fine looking ship, and I do not want to destroy it or damage it while trying to float it. Perhaps we should dig a trench around it with dikes, and flood it until it floats.”

“Sire, that would take more time, and the winter is almost here,” says Barnacle.

“I was talking to Archimedes!”

 “Your highness, that is not necessary,” replies Archimedes, coming to Barnacle’s defense. “I have figured out a way to launch the ship.”

“But how? It is too heavy.”

“Sire, there is nothing on earth that cannot be moved. Given another earth, a lever long enough, and enough room, I could move the earth itself by myself.”

“Archimedes, you are a pain in the butt sometimes, but I am not letting you get away with that remark. I want you to show me how you can move that ship by yourself.”

“It is very simple, sire…”

“Don’t tell me. Just do it. I want to have the ship floating in one week, and I want to see you pull it into the water by yourself.”

“Yes, sire. Your word is law.”
 
END of Part 1
 
To order the entire novel, Archimedes of Syracuse, go to http:/smashwords.com/b/159447.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

0 Comments

Senior Moments No. 2: It’s Okay to Forget Some Things, Others not Okay

1/5/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
I’ve been blogging for a few years now, posting three times a week (Mon, Wed, Fri). I enjoy blogging, but I also enjoy writing a novel. I’ve decided that in 2017 I’ll post twice a week (Mon & Thu) and spend more time on my novel.
 
Senior Moments No. 2: It’s Okay to Forget Some Things, Others not Okay
 
As we age, we may start to forget things. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong; it just means are brains are full of memories. It’s okay to forget some things. No one can remember everything. Here’s a list of things people forget and how to hand them:
 
1.      Your significant other’s name: It’s okay to forget your significant other’s name. Wait until they go to sleep, and then check their driver’s license or other documents. If you still can’t remember, you can call them “honey” or “sweet heart” for several years. However, forgetting their name but remembering an ex’s name is a no-no. When you get a chance, steal a peek at their drivers’ licenses.
 
2.      Kids’ names: Also, no big deal. Just use terms like “big guy” or “princess” until you remember. When you get a chance, look at your will. Their names are probably in there. No will? Then just forget their names.
 
3.      Passwords: This depends. If it’s a password for a web site, usually there’s a way to have them send you an email with a link to reset your password. Some sites will ask you security questions. If you can’t remember the answers, there may be a telephone number you can call. If you forget your computer password, you can always buy a new computer.
 
4.      Zip up: It’s okay to forget to zip up. Someone will remind you. Forgetting to unzip is more serious and may be an indication you’re ready for the nursing home.
 
5.      Old enemies: It’s okay to forget your old enemies. They’ll assume you forgave them.
 
6.      Old friends: Friends don’t let friends forget.
 
7.      The way home: Okay, this is serious. I recommend you sew your name and address into your clothes. If you get lost and can’t remember your way home, take out the address and hail a taxi. If you’re driving, use your car’s GPS. If you have a cellphone, use the map system. You can also ask for direction. Try this trick; draw a map on your stomack.
 
8.      Eating: It’s okay to forget to eat occasionally. Forgetting to chew is more serious. If you’re like me, the problem isn’t forgetting to eat, it’s forgetting to stop eating.  
 
9.      Cussing: Cussing is another thing that’s okay to forget. In fact, your family would probably like you to forget to cuss. Unfortunately, cussing is one of the last things people forget.
 
10.  Putting the toilet seat down: Female/male dominance aside, forgetting to put the toilet seat down isn’t a big deal. However, forgetting to lift the lid is a big deal. It’s the sort of thing that will send you to the nursing home. Best advice is to use the shower; no seat, no lid.
 
11.  Taking a shower: Most people won’t care if you forget to take a shower. Old folks are supposed to smell like old folks. In fact, I think there’s a deodorant for seniors that smells like old mothballs. Better yet, just carry mothballs in your pockets. If you don’t like the smell of mothballs, try fabric softener tissues.
 
12.  Spelling: Everyone has forgotten how to spell, just like cursive writing. Just use spellchecker.
 
13.  Where you parked your car: I hate forgetting where I parked. The best trick is to have a key fob with a locator button. Another trick is to have your significant other with you so one of you can remember where you parked.
 
14.  Why you entered a room: This is another thing I hate. The best solution is to write on your hand what it is you are going for. If you forget to look at your hand, that’s a separate issue. If your hand turns black because it’s covered with reminders, that’s another issue.
 
15.   Significant other’s birthday: This is a big deal; not because it’s your soulmate, but because it’s the password to half of your stuff. Once again, sneak a peek at their driver’s license. It might be best if you made a copy of their license.
 
I’m sure there are other things best forgotten or remembered but these are my top picks.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com
or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments

Part 3 of Chapter 4 from Archimedes of Syracuse, a Historical Novel

1/2/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
A while back I posted a chapter from my first novel, Archimedes of Syracuse. I thought I ‘d do it again. It’s a little long for a blog, so I’ve broken it down in parts. Here is the last part. If you missed Part 1 and 2, scroll down.
 
Archimedes is living in Syracuse on the island of Sicily. Many legends about Archimedes stem from his early years working for King Hieron, a tyrant. Many of us know the story about when he yelled “Eureka!” Many of the details are vague, so in my novel, I tried to fill in logical details. Enjoy.
 
Chapter 4—The Gold Crown (255 BCE, in Syracuse)
 
Two days later, King Hieron looks up from his throne as Archimedes enters the throne room.

“Ah, Archimedes. Have you found a way to determine if my crown is solid gold or not?”

“Yes, sire, I have.”

“Well, let’s have it.”

“Well, sire, gold has a different density from silver. That is why gold is so much heavier than silver. I discovered that if I measured the amount of water displaced by the bar of gold, and compare it to the amount of water displaced by the crown and …”

“Archimedes! You do this to me all the time. Do not bore me with the details. Just tell me if the crown is solid gold or not.”

“It is not solid gold. As you suspected, some gold has been replaced with silver.”

“I thought so, but I had to be sure. I had the goldsmith arrested after I gave you the crown. I had to be sure, but I did not want him to escape. He has cheated many people over the years, and made himself wealthy in the process. But now he has cheated his king. Thanks to you, it will be the last time he will cheat anyone.”

“What will you do?”

“I will confiscate his home and all his gold. Then I will order his thumbs cut off.”

“But, sire. If you do that, he will not be able to ply his trade.”

“So be it. He can beg in the streets for all I care. It will serve him right, and be an example for others to be honest with me. I will not allow anyone to take advantage of me. You have rendered me a great service once again. Thank you.”
​
“Your word is law,” Archimedes bows, and marches out of the room.
 
END of Chapter 4
 
To order the entire novel, Archimedes of Syracuse, go to http:/smashwords.com/b/159447.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com
or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
​

0 Comments
    Picture

    Author

    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com


    Buy Monte's e-books:
    The Throuple Private Eye--Business is Booming.
    ​​The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    ​
    A Head for Murder
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

    FREE E-BOOKS:
    Angels and Gargoyles

    LINKS
    linkedin.com
    twitter.com
    brandyourself.com










    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.