See you tomorrow. -Monte
I did not have time to blog today-busy day. Only 1 week left to get Leadership for New Managers: Book Two free. Use coupon code WL23B @ http://smashwords.com/b/300090.
See you tomorrow. -Monte
Today is Sunday, so I thought I would keep things light with a spoof about detective shows which I think are getting too boring and formula driven. I reformatted it to fit, but you will get the idea. Enjoy!
Detective Show Spoof
Typical hotel bedroom. Man and woman in bed making love. The woman is on top. Camera shots from six different angles. Close up on MARTHA ANDREWS' face.
Cut to front of hotel. CHRIS ANDREWS enters, walks through lobby, takes elevator to 44th floor, walks down hallway, stops at a room, takes out a set of burglary tools and picks the lock, opens door and walks in.
MARTHA: Chris! Don’t you ever knock?
CHRIS: Martha! hat is going on?
MARTHA: (jumping out of bed and pulling a sheet around herself) Don’t be stupid. You can see what is going on. Or can’t you remember?
CHRIS: Why, Martha? I love you. I will forgive you.
MARTHA: I love you too. I will always love you. I am just not in love with you.
CHRIS: What the hell does that mean?
MARTHA: I don’t know. It’s in the script. I just read the lines. I do not have to understand them.
CHRIS: Who is this guy?
MARTHA: Who? I’ll tell you who. It is a man who loves me. He loves me for who I am, not who he expects me to be. He loves me for myself. He is concerned about my emotional needs. He treats me with respect, not like some trophy wife.
CHRIS: No, I mean what is his name?
MARTHA: If you must know, he name is John.
BILL: Actually, my name is Bill. Bill Smith
CHRIS: Yeah, right.
MARTHA: Shut up Bill! Keep out of this. This is between my husband and me.
BILL: (getting out of bed) I didn’t realize you were married. Perhaps, I should go. (starts
to get dressed)
MARTHA: No, stay. I’ll get rid of him.
BILL: I have to get back to work anyway.
CHRIS: Why him?
MARTHA: (starts to get dressed) He is twice the man you are.
CHRIS: That’s because he must weigh 500 pounds.
BILL: Please! I weigh 450 pounds and not a pound more.
CHRIS: How could you, Martha?
MARTHA: Well, I have to stay on top.
CHRIS: No, I mean how could you do this to me?
Martha gives Chris a quizzical look.
CHRIS: I am talking about our marriage. How could you do this to our marriage?
MARTHA: Oh. come on! We have been married for two weeks. How long did you expect me to be
CHRIS: Longer than two weeks.
MARTHA: You should have said something.
BILL: Do the words, forsaking all others mean anything to you?
MARTHA: No. Should they?
CHRIS: It was part of our marriage ceremony.
MARTHA: Again, if it was in the script, I don’t have to know what it means.
BILL: How much do I owe you?
MARTHA: Two hundred. Same as last week.
BILL: Will I see you again?
MARTHA: Of course. Next week. Same time.
Bill: (Hands Martha two one hundred dollar bills. They kiss) See you next week.
(Bill exits. Martha holds one of the bills up to the light.
MARTHA: Stop him! These bills are counterfeit!
Chris pulls out his gun and runs after Bill. He sees Bill get into an elevator but the doors close before he can stop it. Chris runs down 45 flights of stairs and exits in the basement. He then runs up one flight of stairs to the first floor. He searches the lobby frantically. He sees Bill outside getting into a car. He runs outside just as Martha pulls up in a corvette.
MARTHA: Get in!
Chris gets into the car and Martha speeds off after Bill.
CHRIS: How did you get here so fast?
MARTHA: Special effects.
CHRIS: That’s a different outfit. What’s with the mini-skirt? You usually wear pantsuits.
MARTHA: The director wants to show off my legs.
CHRIS: Well, you look fantastic. How come your hair is perfect and now you have makeup on? Where did you find the time?
MARTHA: Look! Can we hold off on the interrogation until we catch this guy? You know damn
well that we shot the hotel scene yesterday. Today is the car chase scene. Besides, my contract says I have to look good. The studio has to give me six close up headshots every episode.
CHRIS: Don’t lose him.
MARTHA: You always say that. I never lose them. Now go ahead and say the other word.
CHRIS: What other word?
MARTHA: You know damn well. Every car chase scene you say it.
SERIES OF SHOT—TYPICAL CAR CHASE SCENES
Cars skid around corners and run other cars off the road. More police cars join the chase. Finally, Bill’s car crashes—flipping over a dozen times and exploding in flames. Bill emerges unhurt with his hands up. The police are so ticked they shoot him anyway.
CRIS: (Chris removes Bill’s wallet) Let’s see who this guy really is. (opens wallet) His driver’s license says his name is Bill Smith.
MARTHA: What the...? Wait a minute. (takes out the hundred dollar bills and holds them up to the
light) I guess the joke on me. These bills aren’t phony after all. My bad.
Chris takes out his service pistol and points it at Martha.
MARTHA: What are you doing? What’s going on?
CHRIS: Come on Martha. You have been around long enough to know that when the studio does not renew your contract, the writers write you out of the series. You contract expires next week.
MARTHA: Don’t do it, Chris. If we stick together, we can both get better contracts.
CHRIS: Too late. I already signed my new contract. I get a bedroom scene and eight close up headshots in every episode. Goodbye, Martha. It’s been great working with you.
MARTHA: Wait! The studio will never find a replacement for my character by next episode.
CHRIS: They have already. You remember that young woman that we hired as an intern two
MARTHA: You mean that 20 something with the silicone breasts?
CHRIS: Uh, yeah, that one. In the next episode she is promoted to detective first class and takes your place.
MARTHA: No! If you shoot me, I will never work with you again. Do you know what that means?
CHRIS: Sorry, Darling, but it’s in the script. I don’t have to know what it means.
Chris shoots Martha three times. He walks over to her body and shoots her in the head for good measure.
After 60+ years of watching detective shows on TV, I have finally figured out the formula. I thought I would share that today.
The 12 Steps to Writing a Screenplay for a TV Detective
Show. This formula will work for Castel, The Mentalist,
Elementary, CSI, The Closer, and most other detective shows.
1. Opening scene: Episode opens with the female lead and male lead in bed (select one):
a. her apartment
b. his apartment
c. in a hotel
2. A cell phone rings (mandatory). One of the two must answer while the other says, “Don’t answer that!” To which the other must say, “We have to. We’re on call.” Whoever answers the phone must listen and then say, “We’ll be right there.” (Must act as if not going is an option. Must show disappointment.) Optional additional statement-female lead says, “I will make it up to you.”
followed with a coy smile. Male detective must smile back with a knowing look.
3. Both arrive at murder scene. (He/she) finds a piece of evidence overlooked by 12 other CSI people and 5 other detectives. (He/she) says, “Canvas the neighborhood and see if anyone saw anything. Also, check all the security tapes within a 100-mile radius and see what comes up. Check the ATMs while you’re at it and get me a cup of coffee.” (Everyone must slap their forehead
because they had never thought of that.)
4. (Select all that apply below):_________________ leads to (pick a number) ____suspects. . They haul them in to interview them individually.
a. The evidence
b. The witnesses
c. The video tapes
d. The confidential informant
f. Gut feeling
g. Good luck
5. One witness must look the most innocent (mandatory) because (he/she) is a (select all that apply):
d. has an iron clad alibi
e. passed a polygraph test
f. passed the drug test
g. is cute
6. Another suspect must look very guilty because (she/he) (select all that apply):
a. is a Republican
b. failed the polygraph test
c. has no alibi
d. voted for Nixon
e. looks guilty (shifty eyes, sweaty, bad hair, etc.)
f. driver’s license expired
7. The detectives must show this suspect ALL the evidence they have collected (mandatory) and tell the suspect ALL their theories on how the crime was committed. The suspect must still deny everything.
8. The detectives discover that for the guilty looking suspect, (select all that apply):
a. the alibi checked out
b. the polygraph malfunctioned
c. the suspect is a closet democrat
d. the suspect had a prescription for the drugs
e. the suspect lied about voting for Nixon
f. the suspect looks cute after cleaning up
g. the (DNA/prints) do not match those from the crime scene
9. One of the detectives uncovers (mandatory) some obscure piece of evidence that implicates the innocent looking suspect. They discover that the innocent suspect is (select all that apply):
a. not a nun/ priest
b. a not virgin (don’t ask how)
c. really a democrat
10. And that (his/her) (select all that apply):
a. alibi does not check out
b. DNA/prints match those from the murder scene
c. library card expired.
11. The detectives go to arrest the suspect and have a (select one):
a. car chase (The passenger must say, "Faster!" and "Don't lose him/her.")
b. foot chase
c. chase across rooftops (At some point one of the detectives must nearly fall.)
12. They arrest the suspect and interrogate him/her. They ask if he/she wants a lawyer. The suspect cracks under such a hard question and confesses (mandatory) to everything plus (select all that
a. cheating on taxes
b. cheating on wife
c. cheating in college
d. cheating at cards.
e. poor acting
Congress will grill Steven Miller, the ousted head of the IRS, over the latest scandal involving illegal audits of the Tea Party and other conservative groups that applied for non-profit status. While it is normal for the IRS to investigate organizations that apply for non-profit status, it appears that the IRS unfairly targeted the Tea Party and other conservative groups for audits. Congress will ask Miller when he knew about the practice and what he did once he knew. That seems to be the issue of every scandal; what did you know and when did you know it. Apparently, he knew as far back as May 2012.
I learned early in my military career that bad news never gets better with age; it only gets worse. A leader’s staff act as gatekeepers on the flow of information, ensuring the leader hears only what he needs to know and not useless trivia. However, in this case the information was not trivia but was
politically sensitive. Miller should have informed the president immediately. It is better to inform the leader early so there are no surprises. In fact, a policy of no surprises is the best policy. Even if not all the information is available, it is better to later update the leader and let the leader know that
things were taken care of or were different than first believed.
Failure to inform President Obama of this politically sensitive situation creates the appearance of a cover up or an attempt at a cover up (http://clicktotweeet.com/q14cW). If Miller had informed the president, and the President kept quiet about it, then Miller would still have a job and Congress would be grilling the President (http://clicktotweet.com/10tFmf)
(Sorry about the italics. I can't seem to correct it today) I read an item in the news today by Tom Vander Brook and Gregg Zoroya, reporters for USA Today. They wrote about why sexual assaults plague the US military. One reason, according to them, is the culture-in the military and
In the news, this morning was a second sexual misconduct case in as many weeks from an individual who was assigned to prevent the very thing he is accused of doing. This time it is the Army under the microscope. Apparently, the case involves a Sergeant First Class at Fort Hood, Texas. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel is one of the people blasting the Army. I think he is being unfair.
First, let me point out that soldiers do not usually pick their
assignments. People are assigned where needed. When I went to Vietnam as a young officer, The Army did not ask me if I wanted to go. They ordered and I went. When I got there, I was assigned as a platoon leader of an infantry platoon. Again, no one asked me if I wanted the job. The Army ordered and I went. Sometimes the Army does let people volunteer for assignments and they sometimes ask if someone wants the assignment. The Army was not a democracy; we did not vote on our duties.
I started my career in the late 60s during the Civil Rights Movement. The Army took civil right seriously. They created officer positions known as the Equal Opportunity Officer. They assigned minority officers to those positions. At that time, there were few minority officers. Many young, African American officers were assigned as EO officers. The Army never asked if they wanted the assignment. Many did not. It was not considered career enhancing. In addition, the Army did not check, nor could they, if these officers were opened minded about equal opportunity. The ones I met never wanted the job.
I do not know the facts in the Fort Hood case, but my guess is the SFC did not volunteer for the job. How would the Army know if the SFC was a sexual predator? If he had been brought up on charges earlier, he would have been discharged. Now the Secretary is criticizing the Army for doing its job.
When they identify a soldier involved in sexual misconduct, they persecute him or her. The Secretary should stand behind the leadership at Fort Hood for doing the right thing. There is no way to prevent sexual harassment 100%. We do the best we can. I think the Secretary is too worried about the bad press and not enough about justice.
Spoiler alert! I finally got around to watching the 2012 movie, Flight, starring Denzel Washington. I really enjoyed the movie and I think that Mr. Washington is a great actor. It is a story about an airline pilot who saves a plane from crashing and killing everyone. The plane does have a crash landing and six people die. However, it turns out that the pilot, Whip Whitaker (played by Mr. Washington) was high on drugs at the time. The pilot union hires a hotshot lawyer and tries to cover up the fact to save the union and to keep the airlines from going under because of large settlements. In the end, Whip turns honest and tells the truth for which he does prison time.
The movie depicts the struggles someone that is addicted must go through to hide their addiction while trying to continue to function at work. In the movie, the pilot finally comes clean after years of telling lies. That is not only very rare but it is very difficult. It is easier to lie than to face the reality. Richard Nixon is a good example. He lied to the American people. It was easy for him to tell the big lie because he had a lot of practice telling little lies all his life. Practice makes the big lie easier.
An interesting part of the movie, for me at least, occurs as the pilot union rep and whip’s lawyer decide to let Whip have cocaine just before testifying to the NTSB in an effort to sober him up enough to look presentable. They both knew he was drunk or high when the plane crashed, but they were willing to cover it up. That was dishonest, but they drew the line there. Now, when confronted with a drunken pilot, they crossed the line by helping him get cocaine. They struggled with their decision, but having gone so far with the cover up, they were committed with continuing their dishonesty. The pilot’s confession left them out in the cold.
I wrote about values and honesty in my e-book, Leadership for New Managers: Book Two. It is not easy to be totally honest all the time. Ask Santa Claus if you don’t believe me. Here is part of what I
Leader/managers of integrity consistently follow clear principles. Organizations rely on
leader/managers of integrity that are honest in word and deed. Leader/managers are honest to others by not presenting themselves or their actions as anything other than what they are, remaining committed to truth. To instill values in others, leader/managers must demonstrate them.
I read Kathleen Parker’s latest commentary about whether Ted Cruz is Hispanic enough. Ms. Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post (www.washingtonpost.com/kathleen-parker). She was blasting NM governor, Bill Richardson for stating, “Almost every Hispanic in the country wants to see immigration reform. No, I don’t think he [Cruz] should be defined as a Hispanic.” Ms. Parker states in her column, “Translation: If you disagree with the consensus of the demographic to which you belong, whether black, female, gay, Hispanic or whatever, then you are essentially not part of the conversation. At least not the one that matters — the vote-organizing constituency.” Senator Cruz is a conservative who opposed immigration reform.
Oddly enough, I agree with both. I agree that we should not define Senator Cruz as Hispanic. He is a Senator representing NM, a conservative politician, or a Republican. I agree with Ms. Parker that our ethnic group should not determine our political views and opinions. I believe intelligent people should make up their minds on what they believe. When people say, for example, that they are a Democrat (or Republican) because they were raised as a democrat (or Republican), they are
saying they are too dumb to figure out things for themselves. People should make decisions based on facts and rational reasoning, not on demographic group. That includes ethnic groups, gay people, women, political party, religious group, etc.
On the other hand, what did Senator Cruz promise his constitutes? If he campaigned as a spoke person for Texas Hispanics, then he owes his constitutes who elected him to be that person. If he used this Hispanic background to win voters, he should not abandon them now. If he did not, then
keep demographics out of politics. If he did, the Hispanic community should vote him out next election.
When people say that they are what they are because they were raised that way, they are saying they are too dumb to think for themselves. www.clicktotweet.com/19GCM
People should make decisions based on facts and rational reasoning, not on demographic group. www.clicktotweet.com/ajPUn
I have been watching with interest the new TV show, Defiance on the Syfy channel. It stars Grant Bowle as a sheriff of a city called Defiance on the site of old St. Louis. In this show, there are seven species of aliens trying to co-exist with the humans.
I find it interesting because I imagine that each species has
their own set of values. It has been difficult at time for us human to reconcile our own different values, so I want to watch the aliens and humans figure it out. Currently, three major religions cannot get along because one group says
that you cannot get to heaven unless you believe in their savior. Another group says that only they are the chosen people for heaven. The third group says that the first group got the message wrong and that all non-believers should be killed until everyone believes. Not much room for compromise
It will be interesting to see how seven alien species join the humans to assimilate their values. Just think of all the potential issues: slavery, equality, birth control, revenge, inter-species marriage, etc. It boggles the imagination. Unfortunately, the show seems to be degenerating into just another crime show.
I wrote about values in my e-book, Leadership for New Managers: Book Two. Here is what I wrote:
One definition [of values] is that values help people discern right from wrong. I do not find this definition useful since it requires a judgment on what is right from wrong. People cannot agree on what is right or wrong. For example, some groups would consider evolution wrong, but others would consider it right.
Another article that I read suggested that people should decide on an objective and then select values to help meet that objective. I believe that our core values are so strong that they influence what objectives we select. I further believe that our values and beliefs direct our actions and
lives whether we are making decisions or not. Life is about living day-to-day. That does not mean that we cannot change our values. Values and beliefs do change over time, but it is usually a slow process. Some values never change.
One definition is that values help people discern right from wrong. Our values and beliefs direct our actions and lives. Http://clicktotweet.com/3e4Df
Values and beliefs do change over time, but it is usually a slow process. Some values never change. http://clicktotrweet.com/Cd2N0
I just read Amy Goodman’s excellent article, “Addressing the epidemic of military sexual assault,” in our local paper. Amy is a national syndicated columnist (www.democracynow.org). In her article she blasted the military for their handling of sexual assaults in the military. I was somewhat embarassed for the military since I had
a 22 year career in the Army. I was in the infantry and spent most of my career in male only units. It was not until I served at the Pentagon that I actually worked with a female officer. I must admit that when women are present, men behave differently and mostly for the better.
I did some volunteer work at a youth correctional facility in Illinois for a number of years. At this facility, the youths were predominately women. I think the young men
that were there, were there because they would be victimized at an all male institution. The facility was considering becoming an all female institution. I asked the chaplain what he thought about that, and he made some very good points. He was against an all female institution. He said that when males are present, the young women take better care of themselves: comb their hair, bathe more frequently, and wear make up. When there are no young men around, they tend to let themselves go.
I think the same can be said of men. If I am going to a meeting with all males, I don’t really care what I look like or how I smell. They won’t say anything and really don’t care. However, if I know there will be women present, I will brush my teeth, comb my hair, put on a little deodorant, and maybe even shave.
When I was in the military in these all male units, the language and behavior was crude at best. However, I never used profanity and crude behavior at home around my wife and children. In fact, once I left the service, I gave up profanity altogether. Women have not been in the work force outside the home much until World War II-in my life time. It is a major culture change and will take time for our culture to adjust. For the military, the adjustment is the hardest and will take the longest. I am confident that things will change for the better over time.
As a society, I believe we are at our best when women and men work together. http://clicktotweet.com/Cucf38
There is always a little posturing when the opposite sex is around, but once you get beyond that, we are better people in mixed company. http://clicktotweet.com/O6f1b
I think that, opening more jobs in the military to women will improve the military. http://clicktotrweet.com/1OBea
Monte is the author of several e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com
Buy Monte's e-books:
A Head for Murder
The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
The Register cliff Rapist
The Clone Murders,
Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
Leadership for New Managers: Book Two
Angels and Gargoyles