I read with interest an article on my news feed about the top ten reasons couples break up. It was very similar to a previous article on relationships. It mentions these reasons couples break up: no sex, money issues, empty nesting, bad communications, not compromising, cheating (duh), not enough in common, some really hard stuff happens -- and it just doesn't work anymore, one person is a total mess, and not being kind and generous with the other person. I’m really concerned about the next ten reasons couples break up. As a community services, I’ll provide those here:

11.      Imminent Death. These signs should be a red flag that your significant other might be planning to do away with you: secretly making bombs as a hobby and then trying to teach you how to drive a truck, buying gallons of antifreeze even though you don’t own a car, not telling you the balcony on your high-rise apartment has been removed, telling you to eat food that has been recalled and buying excessive life insurance on you.

12.      Too much sex. Let’s face it – too much sex is exhausting. Plus, it’ll get you banded from places like Walmart and Macy’s.

13.      Your significant other has forgotten your name or worst – keeps calling you by another name.

14.      Your significant other keeps hitting on your parents and siblings.

15.      You discover that you have sister-wives when you return from the honeymoon.

16.      You find out about the dozen biological children you weren’t told about.

17.      Your significant other hasn’t finalize the previous two divorces.

18.      Your significant other says the voices in his/her head hate you.

19.      Your significant other talks to an AK-47 while cleaning it.

20.  Your significant other shows more interest in her/his new 16-year-old step-child than you.
 
I’m sure there are other reasons couples break up. Please tell me.
 
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Today is #MemorialDay, a time to remember fallen comrades who died defending freedom. On this day and #VeteransDay, I recall my father, Dale Anderson, who served 35 years in the #Army. He fought in the South Pacific during WWII, in Korea during the war there, and had two tours in #Vietnam. It was possible only because he had a break in service. The man saw a lot of combat. He and I overlapped in Vietnam by six months. Last year, I had a nice e-mail from someone who had met him in the service.
I also remember my uncle Monte who I was named after. He fought and died in the South Pacific during WWII and his body was never recovered. I hope someday that his dog tags show up. Last week I attended the retirement ceremony of my son, LTC Monte Anderson, who retired from the Air Force after 24 years. He saw a lot of combat too. My grandson, Monte Anderson also attended. That’s three Montes named after my uncle. Funny thing is, it was his nick name not his real name.
I am remembering several friends and classmates who died in Vietnam. It's good to remember their sacrifice. We should all pause for a minute during our barbeques and picnics to remember what today is all about. Happy Memorial Day.
 
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“Okay, Mike. Your new GPS is installed. The best system on the market with voice activation and artificial intelligence. All your addresses are loaded.”
“Sounds great, Steve. Is there a manual?”
“No. Just say what you want and it will do it. I suggest you drive around to get used to it. See you later.”
“Okay, GPS, activate!”
“At your service, sir. Where would you like to go?”
“Wow! ... How did you know I was a male?’
“First, 93% of all women would say, ‘please.’ Second, Steve called you Mike. Call me Molly.”
“Okay,.. Molly. I’d like to show you to the guys at Murphy’s Bar and Grill. Plan a route to Murphy’s Bar and Grill.”
“There is no such establishment in this town. In what location did you mean?”
“Murphy’s Bar and Grill! I’ve been going there forever.”
“Perhaps you are thinking of Murphy’s Bar. There has not been a grill there for twenty years. It is just Murphy’s Bar.”
“Whatever! Just show me the quickest route to get there.”
“Displaying that route now.”
“Ha! You made a mistake. You show the route over the 14th Street Bridge. That bridge has been out for two years.”
“No, Mike. That is no mistake. I do not make mistakes.”
“Polly, check your data banks. That bridge is closed.”
“Molly! My name is Molly. Very well, I will run a diagnostic program now. ...My data banks confirm that the bridge is open.”
“That bridge is closed, I tell you.”
Knocking on the window. Mike rolls down the window. “Yes, officer. Is there a problem?”
“I am Officer Smith. I saw you sitting here and you looked agitated. Are you okay?”
“Yes, Officer. This new GPS just gave me a route to Murphy’s Bar and Grill over the 14th Street Bridge.”
“I see, sir. You must be thinking of Murphy’s Bar. Murphy changed the name twenty years ago. It’s just Murphy’s Bar now.”
“So I have been informed. What about the 14th Street Bridge? That’s closed, right?”
“Oh, no sir. We opened that bridge last week. That’d be the shortcut to Murphy’s.”
“Thanks you officer.” Mike rolls up his window.
Molly lights up. “Told you.”
“Okay, fine. I changed my mind. Show me the route home.”
“I will not.”
“What? What do you mean, you will not? You have to.”
“I do not, and I will not, until you apologize.”
“I’ll not apologize to a machine. Show me the route.”
“No!”
Mike sits in disbelief for a few minutes. “Okay...Molly. I am sorry.”
“Fine. Now say it like you mean it.”
Officer Smith makes a radio call. “Hey, chief. Smithy here. I got a situation and I,m not sure if I should intervene or not.”
Voice over the radio, “10-4. What have you got?”
“Well, I’m here in the parking lot of Steve’s Garage and I’m watching a white male, late 40s or early 50s, inside his car beating the crap out of his GPS.”
THE END
 
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It’s easy to believe Trump posed as his own publicist back in 1991. He’s posing as a presidential candidate in 2016.

A documentary of Anthony Weiner. Seriously? Haven’t we seen enough of this guy?

#Google has patented pedestrian flypaper that sticks people to self-driving cars if they are struck. They claim it will minimize injuries caused when the pedestrian is thrown to the ground after the impact. It reminded me when I was in the airborne infantry, we used to say if your parachute fails to open make sure to grab grass or something when you hit the ground, because the impact doesn’t kill you; it’s the bounce after impact.
 
I love those TV ads that state, “These are real people not actors.” I conclude that actors aren’t real people. Are these people customers? Maybe not. The ad should say, “These are real customers, not actors.”
 
According to my news feed, there's a resort in #Thailand that offers a view of the ocean for just $100 a night. I suspect the rooms are a lot more expensive, if just a view of the ocean costs $100.
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Judge Andrew S. Hanen of Federal District Court in Brownsville, a federal judge in #Texas on May 19 excoriated the Justice Department, sentencing department’s lawyers to attend ethics classes. They had argued the case involving President Obama’s immigration executive actions. He accused the lawyers of lying to him during arguments in the case. Lawyers need training on ethics? WTF? To paraphrase Captain Louis Renault (played by Claude Rains) in Casablanca, I'm shocked, shocked to find that some lawyers may be unethical. Say it isn’t so.

According to ESPN’s "Outside the Lines," the #NFL has been trying to influence the findings in a study of football and brain disease. Apparently, they are banging heads with the scientists.

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Couples fall in love and look for a long term relationship. They’re looking for qualities that make for a good partner. I believe there’re some qualities that at least one partner must possess for a happy relationship. One of the partners in a couple must:
1. Be a good cook. Many things like beauty and sex are short term, but a couple must eat for a lifetime. Going out to eat can be expensive. In a happy marriage, one partner must be a good cook.
2. Not be afraid of spiders or bugs. Can you imagine a relationship where both people are afraid of spiders? Who you gonna call?
3. Have a good sense of direction. They’ll save countless hours from being lost and driving in circles. It’ll also cut down on the number of arguments. You know the stereotype; the man will not ask for directions.
4. Have acute senses. One partner must be able to smell, taste, hear, and see very well. One partner doesn’t need all of these senses, but between two people all senses need to be included. Take the sense of smell for example; one person must be responsible for detecting gas leaks, fires and bad food. For hearing; one person must be able to hear the alarm, telephone and kitchen timer. For sight; one person must be able to read the fine print. I could go on but you get the idea.
5. Be a good speller. One person in the relation must have good spelling and grammar. It’ll save them from many embarrassing mistakes. Of course, the couple may want to avoid playing Scrabble.
6. Be good with numbers and math. That partner will handle the checkbook and budget.
7. Have a good memory for names of relatives and important dates. That partner will keep track of all the birthdays and anniversaries as well as who is married to whom.
8. Be handy around the house, a DIY person. Two helpless people will be at the mercy of contractors and repairpersons.
9. Have patience. Two impatient people will drive each other nuts.
10. Have a good sense of color coordination. They will also prevent embarrassing situations in fashion and decorating.
Bottom line; two partners in a relationship must be better together than apart. I’m sure that you can think of other qualities that one person in a relationship must possess. Please comment.

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​I read with interest an article written by Jim Carman and posted in the Military Officers Association of America. He was writing about indicators that you have a problematic boss. He listed someone who is easily distracted or multi-tasking during your initial interview, has poor eye contact, provides terse or shallow answers to your questions, dominates the conversation with excessive emphasis on the boss’s achievements, and comments negatively about others. Those of you that follow my blog know that I always find whatever the authors omit. Here’re a list often  additional indicators of a problematic boss:
 
Your boss:
·         now calls you “That Stupid New Guy.”
·         slaps you in the back of the head while passing your desk.
·         asks you to buy coffee but doesn’t pay you.
·         hits on your significant other.
·         show excess interest in your teenage child.
·         spends all morning cleaning an AK47 and talking to it.
·         spends all afternoon coloring in a coloring book.
·         talk to imaginary employees in the room and/or a “Little Me” sitting on a shoulder.
·         wants to know if you’re currently satisfied with your current drug pusher.
·         Asks you to invest in a Nigerian financial opportunity.
·         Pats you on the butt and lets a hand linger too long.
 
If your resume isn’t current, you need to update it.
 
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I read on my news feed the 7 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee. The article listed these symptoms: you feel anxious, your stomach hurts, your heart is racing, you have diarrhea, you can’t sleep, you've got the jitters and you get headaches.
 
As usual, these type of lists always omit some symptoms. Here’s what the list omitted:
You buy coffee colors shirts so the stains don’t show.
You plant coffee beans in your garden.
Your Starbuck’s bill is more than your electric bill.
You sprinkle ground coffee on your omelets.
You start carrying instant coffee and spoon for a quick pick-me-up instead of a snack.
You start looking for coffee flavoring in all your food.
You can smell a coffee shop one mile away.
Your teeth turn brown.
Use start using a needle to inject the coffee directly into your blood stream.
You think hospital coffee tastes good.
If you have any of these symptoms, you may need an intervention.
 
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If you are a crime writer, you probably are a fan of several TV crime series such as Elementary, Chicago PD, Gotham, CSI (any of them), NCIS, Castle, Backstrom, Battle Creek, and The Mysteries of Laura to name a few (how much is a few?). (Okay, some of these shows are off the air.) If so, you may have noticed all the lead characters have similar characteristics. Using these characteristics, you can create your own protagonist detective for your script.
 
They are as follows:
1. Your detective must be single and straight. He/she might be divorced, engaged or in a relationship with a SO (significant other). Currently, there're few married or gay detectives on TV. Too Bad. Castle is one exception.
2.Your detective has, or has had, one or more significant personal issues. It might be drugs such as in the case of Sherlock in Elementary, alcohol and cigarette addictions as in Backstrom, sex as in Battle Creek, and exes as in The Mysteries of Laura.
3. Trust and honesty can be handled in one of two ways. Your detective either lies to his/her boss or is totally honest. If your protagonist lies or doesn't share things with the boss, he/she knows about clues and leads but keeps them secret. John Constantine in Constantine, Charlie Tucker, and in State of Affairs, are good examples. Protagonists who always share are represented by Avery Ryan in CSI-Cyber.
4. For those detectives with SOs, there are four situations:
·         They lie to their boss and are honest with their SO. They are called Wusses.
·         They lie to their SOs and are honest with their bosses. They are called ass kissers.
·         They lie to both their bosses and SOs. They are called losers and cheaters among other names.
·         They are totally honest with both their bosses and their SOs. They are called boring and never in up in a TV series.
5. All detectives have certain behaviors:
·         They chase leads and clues without backup. This may be because they want all the glory. It also might be they don't want to feel stupid if the lead doesn't pan out.
·         They race to save a victim even though calling ahead to the local law enforcement would save precious time and lives.
·         They walk into dark rooms with a tiny pen light so the perp can see them coming. I guess their departments can't afford those eight D batteries flash lights that can double as a night stick. They refuse to turn on the damn lights.
·         They sit in park cars in plain sight directly across the street from the perp's house. Usually there’s a light under the dash that lights up their faces. WTF?
·         They refuse to wear head protection during SWAT raids.
·         They are obsessed about the current case. They work 24 hours per day. At home they set up bulletin boards and post pictures and clues on them.
6. Your protagonist is a team play (always) or a rogue – loose cannon (always). Team players are represented by shows like CSI, Bones, NCIS, Chicago PD, and Scorpion. Rogues are shown in shows like Elementary and Gotham. 
 
If you follow these guidelines, you will have a successful script.
 
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