Monte R Anderson - Author
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More Things You Must Agree on as a Couple Before Getting Married

6/30/2017

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I read with interest an article from PopSugar, “If You Can't Agree on These Things, You Shouldn't Get Married.” It listed such things as kids, future goals, family matters, finances, division of labor, religion, etc. Of course, the article overlooked several keys issues that should be discussed and agreed upon before marriage. Here are more things couples should agree on before marriage:
1.      Do you use the same drug dealer or separate dealers? Do you use the same drugs or different? That could be a deal breaker.
2.      Will it be an open marriage or exclusive? It’s important to settle this before tying the knot.
3.      Will you watch the same TV shows or have separate TV? Who controls the remote.
4.      Should you tell your significant others?
5.      What are your safe words? Decide this before someone gets hurt.
6.      Do the voices in your heads get along? There’s no point in getting married if the four of you (or more) can’t get along.
7.      Can you wear each other’s clothes?
8.      Concealed fire arms or not?
9.      Pets? Dog, cats or snakes? Get real. This could be an issue.
10.  Will you live in the basement of her parents or his?
I hope by discussing these issues prior to getting married, you can have a happy marriage.
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
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More Tips for Job Interviews – Body Language

6/26/2017

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I read with interest an article on my news feed by Jacob Passy in Market Watch titled “Job applicants are ruining their chances by doing this during the interview.” The article referred to body language and stated: make eye contact and don’t glaze over, be relaxed but don’t get too laid back, read the mood of the room and interviewer, just be yourself and wear something familiar. Of course, there are probably a dozen more things to remember about body language. Here are some more tips:
​1.      Don’t render the Nazi salute. The same goes for fancy handshakes like the hand jive, high fives and Boy Scouts/Cub Scouts/Girl Scouts secret handshakes.
2.      Don’t push on the pull door. As you approach a door, determine if it is a push or pull door and act accordingly. It’s a test of your intelligence.
3.      Don’t pick your nose. It might be okay around your family but some interviewers might be offended. Remember, it ain’t what you pick, it’s what you do with it.
4.      Don’t throw your leg over the armrest of the chair. That goes for you men also. The same goes for lighting up a cigar or putting your feet up on the interviewer’s desk.
5.      You should wear an interview suit or dress but forget the old suicide bomber vest that wasn’t used.               
6.      Do not talk to your imaginary friend. Wait until you get home.
7.      It’s always difficult to know what to do with restless hands. One technique is to hold something like a note book or pad. Holding a coloring book isn’t a good idea. It speaks volume about you.
8.      Avoid wearing fraternity/sorority pins or rings. If your fraternity or sorority hasn’t been in the news recently for some stupid stunt, it will be.
9.      Do not wear badges, tie tacks, cuff links or belt buckles made from bullets unless you’re applying for a position with the NRA.
10.  Winking at the interviewer usually is frowned upon.
I hope these tips about body language help you land a good position.
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
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Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com


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50% Discount on my Novels

6/21/2017

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​My birthday is this month (June 29) and my grandson’s birthday is June 30. One of my brothers also has a birthday on June 29. To celebrate, I’m offering a 50% discount on two of my e-book novels: The Register Cliff Rapist and The Clone Murders.
 
My novel, The Register Cliff Rapist was published December 8, 2015 by Smashwords. It’s a multi-format e-book that can be ordered for any device. It is a crime novel that takes place in Wyoming. The police have the DNA evidence, the body of the victim and the murder weapon. The boyfriend confesses. How can they be so wrong? A journalist, Jason Franco discovers a police cover up and soon becomes the target for the real killer. This novel normally sells for $3.99 but until June 30, I’m offering a 50% discount so it’s priced at $2.00.  Here is the link to order: http:www.smashwords.com/b/588277. Use the coupon code KP2382 to get the discount.
 
My novel, The Clone Murders is a multi-format eBook by Smashwords that can be ordered for any device. It takes place in 2031 when cloning of humans has been perfected. The National Research Council has developed a way to grow clones to adulthood in just two years. They also have a machine that can transfer all the knowledge from a donor to a clone. All seems to be going well until one of the clones turns up dead from exposure to anthrax. Senator Steve Morgan calls on his campaign manager, Cas Novak, to investigate. What Cas uncovers is the greatest threat to national security in decades. This novel normally sells for $4.99 but until June 30, I’m offering a 50% discount so it’s priced at $2.50.  Here is the link to purchase  http://smashwords.com/b/160136. Use the coupon code CA95X to get the discount.
 
Please spread the word.
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
 

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29 Reason to Change Doctors

6/19/2017

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I read with interest an article by Angels Haupt in US News and World Report, “9 Signs You Should Fire Your Doctor.” As usual in these type of article, the author left out many other reasons. I have repeated the nine reasons listed in the article followed by the other 20 additional reasons to changes doctors. Keep in mind that the pronoun “He” could also be “She,” “Transgender,” “No Gender,” or “Unknown.”
 ​1.      You don’t mesh.
2.      He doesn’t respect your time.
3.      He keeps you in the dark
4.      He doesn’t listen.
5.      The office is unprofessional.
6.      You don’t feel comfortable with him or wonder about his competence.
7.      He doesn’t coordinate with other doctors.
8.      He’s unreachable.
9.      He’s rude or condescending.

My 20 additional reasons to changes doctors:
1.      The doc has cold hands.
2.      The doc has large hands.
3.      The kids in the waiting room all look like him.
4.      The doc has cameras and lights set up in the exam room.
5.      The doc got his/her medical license online.
6.      Patients call the head nurse, “Nurse Ratched”.
7.      The doc’s first question is if you’re an organ donor.
8.      The doc keeps calling you by the wrong last name.
9.      The doc tries to sell you drugs under the counter.
10.  The doc googles your symptoms on his computer while you describe them.
11.  The doc tells you that you remind him of his/her ex who he/she hates.
12.  The doc writes you a prescription for marijuana before he asks you anything.
13.  The DEA is in the waiting room.
14.  The doc’s latex gloves have holes in them.
15.  The doc talks to an imaginary friend in the office.
16.  The doc pulls out a thermometer from his pocket to write a prescription.
17.  There’s a picture on the doc’s desk of him with Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman.
18.  The name of the medical school on the doc’s diploma is misspelled.
19.  When you say you want a second opinion, the doc pulls out a sock puppet.
20.  The doc keeps referring to the “Hypocritical” Oath.

Any one of these reasons could be a red flag that says, “Time to change doctors.”

​For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

 

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The Army’s Birthday: 14 June 1775

6/14/2017

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I saw this article and thought it was worth posting. Enjoy.

​When the American Revolution broke out, the rebellious colonies did not possess an army in the modern sense. Rather, the revolutionaries fielded an amateur force of colonial troops, cobbled together from various New England militia companies.  They had no unified chain of command, and although Artemas Ward of Massachusetts exercised authority by informal agreement, officers from other colonies were not obligated to obey his orders.  The American volunteers were led, equipped, armed, paid for, and supported by the colonies from which they were raised.  

In the spring of 1775, this “army” was about to confront British troops near Boston, Massachusetts. The revolutionaries had to re-organize their forces quickly if they were to stand a chance against Britain’s seasoned professionals. Recognizing the need to enlist the support of all the American seaboard colonies, the Massachusetts Provincial Congress appealed to the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia to assume authority for the New England army.  Reportedly, at John Adams’ request, Congress voted to “adopt” the Boston troops on June 14, although there is no written record of this decision.  Also on this day, Congress resolved to form a committee “to bring in a draft of rules and regulations for the government of the Army,” and voted $2,000,000 to support the forces around Boston, and those at New York City.  Moreover, Congress authorized the formation of ten companies of expert riflemen from Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Virginia,

which were directed to march to Boston to support the New England militia. 

George Washington received his appointment as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army the next day, and formally took command at Boston on July 3, 1775. 
​
-- John R. Maass, Historian, US Army Center of Military History

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Flag Day – “Old Glory” History

6/14/2017

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June 14 is Flag Day. I found this bit of flag history on the VFW web site. I thought I would share it (the VFW has given permission).
​The name "Old Glory" was first applied to the U.S. flag by a young sea captain who lived in Salem, Mass. On his 21st birthday, March 17, 1824, Capt. William Driver was presented a beautiful flag by his mother and a group of Salem girls. Driver was delighted with the gift and named the flag "Old Glory." Old Glory accompanied the captain on his many sea voyages. In 1837, he quit sailing and settled in Nashville. On patriotic days, he displayed Old Glory proudly from a rope extending from his house to a tree across the street. 

After Tennessee seceded from the Union in 1861, Captain Driver hid Old Glory, sewing it inside a comforter. When the Union soldiers entered Nashville on February 25, 1862, Driver removed Old Glory from its hiding place. He carried the flag to the capitol building and raised it above the state capitol. Shortly before his death, the old sea captain placed a small bundle into the arms of his daughter. He said to her: "Mary Jane, this is my ship's flag, Old Glory. It has been my constant companion. I love it as a mother loves her child. Cherish it as I have cherished it." 

The flag remained as a precious heirloom in the Driver family until 1922. It was then sent to the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C., where it is carefully preserved under glass.

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
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Water, Water, Everywhere but Not One Drop to Drink

6/12/2017

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I wrote this last year. Now that a heat wave is here, I thought I would post it again. Enjoy.
 
Water, Water, Everywhere but Not One Drop to Drink
 
With blistered, salty skin, and matted hair, she was down to her last sips of fresh water. A recreational day at sea had turned into a fight for continued existence. Slumped on the bow, searching for any hint of a breeze to soothe her burning face, her eyes widened when she noticed something fast approaching in the distance.

Was it real or was it just a mirage caused by the simmering heat waves dancing off the surface of the hot water? She could not tell; her brain on fire from thirst and heat. When she dozed off, she dreamed of cool, refreshing water; swimming in it, drinking it, washing her face and hair in it. When she was awake, she hallucinated about skiing down an ice cream covered slope or diving naked into a mountain of shaved ice. The dreams and hallucinations were far better than the reality.

She reached for her sunglasses but remembered that she had knocked them overboard hours ago. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she looked again at the approaching image. It was real, but she could not tell what it was yet. Squinting didn’t help. She tried closing one eye and that helped. She could make out a figure moving toward her at a rapid pace. At least it looked like it was moving toward her. She prayed it was moving toward her. Whatever it was didn’t matter now; salvation or death, she didn’t care anymore. This torture had to end one way or another.

She looked at her skin. It was turning bright red. Before long, it would blister if she didn’t get some relief from the scorching sun. If only she had some suntan lotion, but that fell overboard with her sunglasses. Without the lotion, her skin would start to blister and look like leather very soon.
This is how it ends! she thought. Burnt to a crisp and left to die alone. No human being to hear my cries and hold my hand. No friends to say farewell or to remember me. My youth dried up like a raisin in the sun. My beauty just a fading memory. My dreams rolled up and tossed overboard with my sunglasses.

She looked again for the approaching figure. Yes! It was coming toward her; for her, to her. Would it arrive in time? She was afraid to get her hopes up but also afraid not to. It was the figure of a man. Waving took too much effort so she decided to wait, and when he was near to try to smile, if her parched lips could part enough for a smile.

What if he isn’t coming to save me? What if he just sails on by without stopping? What if he doesn’t see me? The thoughts came into her dulled brain. She tried to drive them out; to keep hope alive. If he does not rescue me then I will just die, she thought. I am prepared for that. Death would be a relief. Death would cool me down. She looked again at the man, and the sight of him, so close and yet so far, jerked her mind away from the thoughts of death.

She decided to get try again to get his attention to make sure he saw her. It took all her energy, but she was able to raise one arm. She steadied it for a moment. It weighed a ton. It tried to fall; to pull her down with it and overboard like her glasses. She fought the weight of her arm-- the pull of gravity. With a deep breath, she waved her hand. It was a small wave, but it was a wave. Her arm dropped back down by her side, and she looked again at the man. He waved back. He saw her! He acknowledged her wave! It was the sign she needed. Whatever happens, she knew that she would survive. Her spirits began to soar.
​
An instant later, he stepped from the dock onto the bow. “Here you go,” he said. “One cool bottle of water, on bottle of suntan lotion, and one ice cream cone. I can’t believe you made me walk all the way back to the boathouse for this. You turn into such a drama queen when you run out of water.”
 
THE END
 
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
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The Missing Additional Ten Commandments

6/5/2017

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​Recently, the Arc of the Covenant was discovered in Jerusalem, and inside were found not Ten Commandments but twenty. Okay, don’t get all bent out of shape… I made that up. But what if there were ten previously unknown Commandments, what would they be? You recall the Ten Commandments? May not. They were mostly the “you shall not” type; making idols, swearing in vain, murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and coveting. There were a couple of the “you shall” type: honor God, your parents and whatever day you believe is the Sabbath.
 
If we didn’t know about the missing Commandments, are we still label for obeying them or is ignorance of the Commandments no excuse? Here are the missing Commandments with a short explanation:
 
1.      You shall not cry over spilled goat’s milk. I guess we saw this one coming.
2.      You shall not see evil, hear evil, speak evil, or bad mouth your political opponents. This is not the same as lying – it’s about doing evil things like gossiping or running hostile ads about your opponent.
3.      You shall not poke the bear. Not sure if this referred to the Hittites, Canaanites, or Egyptians. It may have been a warning about the Romans.
4.      You shall not bitch unless you have a better solution.
5.      You shall not eat the fruit of the poppy plant or the cacao plant or the grapes of the vine plant. Okay, I guess we all blew this one.
6.      You shall not say anything at all if you can’t say something nice. This goes hand in hand with number 2 above.
7.      You shall not draw to an inside straight. WTF? Who knew God was a gambler? Now I discover this.
8.      You shall get a life. Couch potato isn’t a life. Tweeting isn’t a life. Facebook isn’t a life.
9.      You shall close it if you open it,. This may have come about after someone left the door open and started global warming.
10.  You shall not think the world owes you anything you did not earn.
 
Moses went on to author many more laws, but the Ten Commandments were his best known work -- the most controversial, and probably the most hated. Let me know if you think I missed some.

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The Vilest Things You can do to Annoy Others on a Plane

6/1/2017

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I read with interest the article by the editors of The Active Times, “These Are the 10 Most Vile Things You Can Do on a Plane. They mentioned things like putting your feet in other people’s way, bringing stinky food on the plane, leaving chewing gum on the seat belt, too much PDA, talking too loud, grooming yourself (like trimming toenails), leaving your trash everywhere, removing your shirt, walking around barefoot, getting too drunk and hanging your hair over the back of your seat. A good start but not even close. Here’s my list of the vilest things you can do on a plane:
1.      Farting. Silence farts are bad enough, but the loud ones are the worst.
2.      Singing loudly along while wearing ear phones.
3.      Trying to join the Mile-High Club. No one wants to wait outside the restroom while you try to break into the club.
4.      Bringing snakes (or monkeys) on board. You may have seen the movie, Snakes on a Plane; pet monkeys are just as bad while snakes AND monkeys are the worst.
5.      Opening the exits. How many times has this happened to you? You’re flying along at 30,000 feet and some idiot tries to open the exit door. Really annoying, right?
6.      Hinting at a fuel leak. What can be more annoying than the person who keeps asking if anyone else can smell aviation fuel flumes?
7.      Wearing an “I heart ISIS” T-shirts. Not funny. Wearing a terrorist T-shirt is sure to irritate some passengers.
8.      Laying across the seats. Okay, the seats don’t recline enough. That’s no excuse to lay across three seats for a nap.
9.      Praying too loudly. No one is more annoying that the religious zealot who keeps praying for a safe flight at the top of his voice.
10.  Having a panic attack. Just like the praying zealot, no one likes the passenger who keeps screaming, “We’re all going to die.”
If you’re a frequent flyer, I’m sure you have seen other vile things while flying. Let’s hear about them.
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
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Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

 

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    Author

    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com


    Buy Monte's e-books:
    The Throuple Private Eye--Business is Booming.
    ​​The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    ​
    A Head for Murder
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

    FREE E-BOOKS:
    Angels and Gargoyles

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