No blog today. I am too overwhelmed by the response to my posting, Moments that Changed Me and My Career, last Friday. Within 24 hours I had over 100 emojis on Face Book with 31 comments--a lot for my blog. That may be the best response I have ever had. I don’t know why. Perhaps it was the insightful thoughts. Maybe it was my creative writing. I fear it may have been my picture as a cadet some 63+ years ago. 

My writing group meets weekly every Tuesday. Next Tuesday falls on my 75th birthday. I challenged my writing Group to write something—anything--to share during the meeting, as a birthday gift for me. One member of the group challenged me to write something as well. She said to write about what impacted my career (22 years in the Army). That’s what I wrote about and posted. I wasn’t prepared for the response. So far, Monday at noon, I have received 123 emojis and 33 comments. Wow. I don’t know how many people read the post without leaving an emoji or comment.           --Monte

This isn’t my usual humorous blog, so bear with me. I belong to the Elmira Area Writers’ Group. We meet weekly every Tuesday on Zoom.com, and I host the meeting. My birthday is June 29 which falls on a Tuesday this year. I challenged the group to write something—anything to share during the meeting, as a birthday gift. One member of the group challenged me to write something as well. She said to write about what impacted my career (22 years in the Army). So here it is:

Oddly enough, the things that changed the trajectory of my career and life happened to me prior to graduating from high school.
The first pivotal point happened when I was 14 years old. I had an incident with my stepfather, and he slapped me.  It wasn’t child abuse or anything like that. I had done something stupid and deserved to be slapped. I was old enough and big enough that the slap didn’t hurt me, but I got really pissed and stormed out of the house. I decided I would not return home and would run away. I found a place to be alone and sat down to plan my escape. I thought the whole thing out.

After much thought, I reached a few conclusions:

1. If I dropped out of school and with no education, I would have a hard time getting a meaningful job.
2. If I wanted to leave home, I would need to finish my education and start to earn a living.
3. If I wanted to do well in life, I would need to do well in school and then go to college.

Up until this point, I had been a poor student with average or below average grades. I decided my best course of action would be to stay home, finish school, and to earn good grades. I started to apply myself and study harder. The next year, I was doing well in school. Good grades and a high score on my SATs helped get me into West Point.

The next pivotal point in my life occurred in my freshman year of high school. A friend of mine convinced me that we should try out for wrestling. Once I started wrestling, I loved it. My friend didn’t care much for it, and he quit. I was good at it. I was quite heavy for a freshman and wrestled in the unlimited weigh class which was 210 pounds or higher. The more I wrestled, the more weight I lost. Each year I was in the next lower weight class. By my senior year, I was wrestling at 175 pounds. Had I remained at over 200 pounds, I would never have been accepted at West Point. By junior year I was captain of the wrestling team.

The next pivotal point also occurred at the start of my freshman year. My stepfather moved the family onto Fort Lewis (Washington) late into my freshman year. I enrolled in a small school that was just getting started. I was in the first class to eventually graduate from that school. My friends were kids in the neighborhood and in my classes at school. All were honor students. The first thing they wanted to know is which military academy I want to attend. I had never thought about it before. My plan was to attend UCLA and take ROTC. One friend wanted to attend the Air Force Academy. Another one wanted to attend West Point. Another was planning on attend the Citadel in South Carolina. Without much thought, I answered West Point. After graduation,  two of us did attend West Point and one went to the Citadel. Unfortunately, the fourth friend failed the medical exam and didn’t go to the Air Force Academy. He did, however, take Air Force ROTC in college as served 20 years in the Air Force. We all were lifetime friends. Without them, I would have gone to UCLA. 

​A funny blog next week. I promise.

I recently blogged about debunking myths about the brain. I thought today I would continue in that vein and debunk the myths about butts (asses). I wrote this in 2016 and posted it a few times but not in the last couple of years. I hope you like it.

#Myths about Butts Debunked

1. Some people have their “head up their ass.” Not true. You can try this at home. No way will your head fit up your butt or anyone else’s butt.

2. Some things are “half assed.” Okay, this one’s true. People can live with half an ass. Of course, they must be careful not to fall into the toilet. In some cases, surgeons might remove half an ass. In normal cases, individuals have been known to lose half their ass on a diet.

3. People may say that they “lost their ass” in an investment or gambling. Not true. No one would want to accept an ass as an investment or a wager. 

4. It is possible to get an “ass chewing.” Okay, this one is true too but not the way you think. While it is possible to eat an ass, it is not recommended except in extreme circumstances. However, in the case of consenting adults in the privacy of their bedroom, some ass chewing may occur.

5. Some people are “butt heads” or “ass holes.” Not true - heads and butts are not interchangeable parts in spite of what some surgeons might say. The butt has no brain. Stupid people should correctly be called “brain dead”, clueless or thoughtless but “butt head” or “ass hole” is simply not correct. While it’s possible to “butt heads” (note the use of “butt” as a verb) with someone, that is an entirely different thing and usually ends in one of the parties being injured or fired.

6. It is possible to “kick ass” or “kick butt.” This is true. This phenomenon happens often in professional sports. It shouldn’t be taken literally, but sometimes people do need a swift kick in the pants.

7. Some people are “ass kissers” or “brown nosers.” This one is also true but not in the way most people think. The common misperception is that it applies to a worker who kisses up to the boss. It would be rare if there was any real “ass kissing” taking place. Real “ass kissing” takes in the bedroom between consenting adults (read #4, reference “ass chewing” above). “Brown nosers” are really “ass kissers” who have gone too deep or missed the mark.
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I hope this clears up some misconceptions about the brain. Try not to over think this.

I have posted this article a few times. I recently updated it. A few years ago, I read with interest an article about the seven most common myths about the brain. The authors, Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown explained why they aren't true. I’ll just summarize the article. The myths are:
1. A bigger brain is better (smarter). Not true.
2. Alcohol kills brain cells. Not true, thank goodness.
3. Drugs create "holes" in your brain. Not true. Again, thank goodness.
4. The brain has 100 billion cells. Not true. The brain has only 99.9 billion brain cells. I get light-headed thinking about it.
5. People use only 10% of your brain. Not true (unless you’re a politician).
6. People are either "left-brained" or "right-brained." Not true. The theory is that one side of their brain is dominant. Left-brained people are thought to be mostly analytical and methodical in their thinking. Right-brained people are thought to be more creative or artistic.
7. People have only five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. Also, not true. People also have a sense of balance, temperature, time, pain and proprioception (the body awareness that helps us not walk into things all the time). Makes sense to me.
 
I believe that Moffit and Brown missed a few myths. As a public service, I will present them here:
1. A “No Brainer.” Not true. If someone’s a no brainer, meaning they have no brain, then they are a zombie. At least, I don’t think zombies have brains.

2. “Blow your mind” or be “mind blowing.” Again, not true. If something blows your mind, once again, you become a zombie.

3. “Mind altering” or “mind expanding.” Not true. You brain is what it is. Once you become an adult, it is fully grown. It may shrink as you grow older but won’t expand. “Mime” altering is something else entirely.

4. Eating cold ice cream will make your “brain freeze.” Not true. Opening the top of your head on a cold day will freeze your brain.

5. Your brain can get a “brain cramp” or a “brain fart”. “Not true. Muscles cramp, not brains. Brains can’t fart either. The correct term should be “senior moment’ which can occur at any age.

6. Some people have only “half a brain.” Okay, this one might be true, especially if you’re a politician. This phenomenon can be observed on the news all the time. Firefighters in Wolverhampton, England, say they were "seriously unimpressed" after spending an hour trying to free a man with his head cemented in a microwave. The man was described as a "YouTube prankster" and his friends poured several bags of a fast-hardening cement into an unplugged microwave oven they were using as a mold around the man's head, which was protected by a plastic bag. Firefighters say that by the time they were called, the man's friends had been trying to free him for 90 minutes and had given him an air tube to help him breathe. Police suspect the  man had only half a brain.

7. “A penny for your thoughts.” Due to inflation, the true cost is 26.5 cents for a thought. People who work for a penny a thought are under paid. This is especially true for writers and bloggers like me.
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8. Someone can get “inside your head” or “mess with your head.” Not true, unless you’re a surgeon. Alcohol can get into your head and mess with your head but not people. If you really want to mess with someone’s head just ask, “You’re not going to wear that, are you?”
 
9. People can be “brain dead.” This one’s true. When people are brain dead, the body soon follows, and they are declared totally dead. Once that happens, they are either buried, become zombies (see #1 above), get elected to Congress or become a candidate for President.
 
10. People can be “scatter brained.” Not true. Your brain is contained in your scull and can’t scatter. This should not be confused with having your “brains scattered” by some horrible accident.
 
I hope this clears up some misconceptions about the brain. Try not to over think this.

I wrote this post back in 2016, but wealth inequality is still a big issue. Biden wants to tax the big corporations, but we all know that companies will pass that burden onto the consumers. Currently, only the top 10 percent of Americans are seeing their wealth grow while the rest get less and less. Everyone is aware of this national problem. Biden think the problem can be solved by taxing the rich and giving to the poor through tax breaks. I don’t think that approach will work.

I think there should be a Fair Profit Law that limits how much profit can be made on a product or service. I think a 10% limit would be fair. There should also be a Fair Pay Law that pins the ratio of the salary and benefits of CEOs to the lowest paid employee. For example, we could use a ratio of 300 to 1. If the CEO is earning $3,000,000 (salary, bonuses, stock options and Golden Parachute) the lowest paid employee would be paid $100,000. If the CEO gets a bonus or increase in compensation (stock options, etc.), the lowest paid employee should get a raise of the same percentage to maintain the 300 to 1 ratio. So, when the CEO gets a 10% bonus or $300,000, the employee gets a 10% bonus or $3,000.

Another part of the problem, in my opinion, is that consumers pay too much for products and services that are providing excess profits to the rich. There should be transparency on the real cost of products and services. We already have labels for nutrition and the country where the product is made. I propose adding more information to the label. Here are the items that should be disclosed on a label on all products and services:

1. The actual percent of the cost that is contributed toward profit. If we knew this, most of us would not purchase anything with excessive mark up. I think 10% or less is a fair profit.
2. The salaries of the CEO, the Chairman of the Board, the CFO and the salary of the lowest paid employee. It must include all the perks, stock options and golden parachutes.
3. The percentage of the product or service that is from outside of the USA.

 
This won’t solve the inequality, but it’s a start.
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Author’s Note--This post is semi-serious. 

I posted this back in 20126. But it still seems current. I have updated it. It seems that the country has one problem after another and crisis following crisis. All these crisis and problems cry out for a solution. I recall seeing a sign when I worked in the #Pentagon that said, “Every problem can be solved if the solution is complex enough. Simple solutions to complex problem will not be tolerated.” Apparently, all the nation’s problems can be solved with a complex solution no one can understand, let alone implement. Now that I am older and slightly wiser, I realize that many of our national problems have a simple solution. It may be a hard and difficult solution but probably the correct one. The crisis at the southern border and immigration is one such problem that could use a simple solution.

Let’s face the facts. People want to come to the USA for a better life or escape prosecution in their country. Many try to cross the border from #Mexico. They come from #Central America, #South America and from overseas. Spin off problems include the large influx of unaccompanied children, #amnesty for illegal aliens, undocumented workers, keeping our borders secure, drugs, crime, etc.

ere is the simple solution; annex Central America. Make it a territory of the United States -- problem solved.

The US should annex Central America down to the Panama Canal. That would include Mexico, #Guatemala, #Honduras, #CostaRica, and half of #Panama. We would make it a territory like #Guam, #PuertoRico, and #Hollywood. Here’s the impact of that solution:
1. All the people in Central America would be US citizens -- no need to immigrate.
2. The Panama Canal is a great barrier; no need to build a fence. We could fill the canal with sharks.
3. It would probably mean more votes for the Democratic Party.
4. The Panama Canal would be returned to the US - more income.
5. More illegal drugs would be available at lower prices.
6.  No one would need a visa to take a vacation in Central America.
7. People would then be able to eat real Mexican food.
8. School kids would have to learn where Costa Rica is located.
9. The NRA will be happy to learn that most of the people in Central America are already armed.
10. The area is already named “America.”
11. This action will put the Canadians on notice to clean up their act.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: To the humorously challenged, this is a satire.