It seems there’s a news item two or three times a week about road rage. I don’t think road rage can be stopped, but it can be controlled. Data gathered by SafeMotorist.com indicates that 66% of recent traffic fatalities can be linked to aggressive driving. Of course, not all aggressive driving is a result of road rage. However, 37% of those fatalities were found to be caused by a firearm. According to a study by the AAA nearly 80% of drivers expressed significant anger, aggression or road rage while driving at least once in the past year. Not all anger ends up in road rage.
 
 Anger is a is a natural emotion, a common response to frustrating or threatening experiences or when a person thinks he has been injured or mistreated. Mix anger, driving and maybe alcohol and you have a dangerous cocktail. However, it can be controlled. Instead of stopping road rage, we can render it less harmless. I think I have found the perfect control mechanism—paint balls.
 
Every driver, on a volunteer basis, of course, would be issued a paint ball gun with a special color of paint. If we use the colors found in a crayon box minus white, there are 63 colors. Remove black and white and that leaves 61. When a driver feels road rage, the driver can shoot the offending driver who may or may not shoot back. If the car is the same color as the paint, the driver will have to aim for a tire or window. When the police see a car with more than five colors, they would issue a citation for reckless driving.
 
We should try this out in cities like Los Angeles or New York City for a beta trial. If all goes well, the technique can be adopted nationwide.

I read with interest an article by Casey Bond, The Root Cause of Your Money Problems Could Be an Actual Money Disorder. In the article, Casey said that according to a study by Northwestern Mutual, money is the No. 1 source of stress for many American adults. A “money disorder is a chronic pattern of self-defeating or self-destructive financial behaviors” according to Brad Klontz, a psychologist at Creighton University, money disorders include compulsive spending, hoarding, workaholism, addictive gambling, financial infidelity, financial enabling, financial dependence (the flip side of enabling), financial enmeshment (also known as financial incest) and financial denial.
 
As usual with lists, I think several money disorders were overlooked. As a public service I include them below:
 
Financial Hoaxes; Sending money to someone in Nigeria or some other foreign country who claims to need assistance in transferring a large sum of money.
 
Financial Dependents (Brother-in-laws); Loaning money to your brother or sister-in-law to finance some hair brained idea.
 
Financial Ransom; Paying a large sum of money to someone who claims to have kidnapped your grandson or granddaughter.
 
Financial Bribes; Bribing politicians too much for favorable actions that favor you or your business.
 
Financial Kickbacks; Paying large sums of money as kickbacks.
 
Spouse Spending (another form of financial dependents); Letting your spouse spend a large sum of money trying to live the high life.
 
You May Have Won Financial Duplicity; Paying someone who claims you won a large sum of money but must pay the taxes or some other fee in order to collect.
 
If you find yourself in any of these categories, stop spending and seek help.

Millions of people are unable to enjoy the comedy of life because they are humorously challenged. Often, they suffer in silence, ashamed to admit that they don’t get the joke. Everyone should learn to recognize the symptoms and to help those unfortunate people who have trouble laughing. Friends do not let friends miss out on the joke. This is a curable and preventable illness. Maybe you are one of those who suffer in silence.

Ask yourself these questions:
1. When someone tells a joke, do you stand there saying, “I don’t get it.” while everyone else is laughing?
2. Does everyone stop laughing and change the subject whenever you join the group?
3. Do you laugh at inappropriate times while others aren’t laughing?
4. Do you think that Saturday Night Live is a news program?
5. Do you take sarcasm as a serious statement?
6. Are you unable to laugh at yourself as well as others?
7. Do you think that Bob Hope was the Secretary of State and that Hillary Clinton was a comedian?
8. Are you unable to laugh and make milk come out of your nose?
9. Do you feel pain when someone tickles your funny bone?
10. Do you think that this article is serious?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be humorously challenged to some degree. Not to fear, the cure is simple, but may take years. To cure yourself from being humorously challenged, start by reading my blog at http://www.monteranderson-author.com. Once you are able to smile at my comments, start reading cartoons in the newspaper. (If you don’t know what a newspaper is, contact me privately.) Once you understand the cartoons, you may try going to a comedy club and signing up for other humorous blogs. With a little effort, you may be cured after a few years.
 
I haven’t felt the need to post these warnings, but in light of the current topic, I thought I had better.
 
WARNING! Reading this blog may cause laughter which might result in pulled stomach muscles, injured funny bones, coffee or milk to pour from the nose, and self-inflicted wounds caused by slapping knees or foreheads.

WARNING! Reading my blog may cause eyestrain, deep thoughts (rare), raised eyebrows, furrowing of the forehead, gnashing of teeth, and shaking of the head.
If you think you have any of these symptoms, return to my blog for another dose.
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Consider yourself warned.

A couple of years ago I read with interest an article from Business Insider, 9 Signs You're a Problem Employee and Don't Even Know It, written by Richard Feloni, Aine Cain and Shana Lebowitz. They pointed out the following indicators: You're not punctual, You constantly make excuses, You do the bare minimum, You love to gossip, You're convinced you're smarter than everyone else, You're noticeably less productive than your colleagues, You don’t believe in your company’s mission or values, You don't get along with anyone and You’re always looking for a way out.

As usual, this list only scratches the surface. As a public service I provide more signs that you’re a problem employee:
You don’t have a key to the employee’s bathroom.
All your co-workers have restraining orders against you.
Your boss won’t let you cook meth in the breakroom.
All your co-workers hide their pens from you.
Your favorite food is no longer served in the company cafeteria.
Your co-workers unfriend you on the company internet and block you on the interoffice email system.
Your boss now calls you “Stupid.”
You’re the only employee without a designated parking space.
​
If you see these subtle signs, take the hint and straighten up. 

I read with interest an article from Prevention written by Korin Miller (12/31/2018), Relationship Therapists Say There Are 12 Signs You've Found Your Perfect Partner. The article mentioned that deep down that they’re right for you, the timing is right, you feel incredibly comfortable together. It went on to talk about emotions, happiness, respect, having a lot to say to each other, love, values, blah, blah, blah. As usual, this list only scratches the surface.

​As a public service I provide more signs that you’ve found your perfect partner:
Your partner starts listening to love songs.
Your partner friends you on Face Book and Twitter.
Your partner deletes his/her profile on Tinder.
Your partner changes her/her relationship to “committed.”
Your partner likes the same illegal drugs that you like.
Your partner’s willing to provide an alibi when questioned by the police.
Your partner remembers your safe word.
Your partner tells you all his/her passwords.
Your partner likes to wear your underwear.
 
These are sure sign that this one is a keeper.

A couple of years ago, I read with interest an article by littlezotz.com (First Edition Design Publishing) about how writers sometime sabotage their own writing. The article included: Not preparing an outline, getting deadlines wrong, trying to do everything in the first draft and celebrating too early.

On reflection, I decided there’re many more ways writers sabotage their writing careers. As a public service to all writers, I list some of them here:
All your work is obviously plagiarized.
You call your agent an ass-**le.
You refuse to write on any day of the week that has a D in it.
You write in a language that you invented.
You firmly believe that rules are meant to be broken, especially grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
You’re using invisible ink.
Readers must use a decoder ring to read your writing.
You’re using Snapchat to publish your writing.
You can’t meet your goal of 25 words per day.
You write in a genre no one ever heard of.
​
I hope by identifying these self-destructive habits I have helped writers everywhere.

Let me run this by you. I’ve been thinking recently about writing a novel about an FBI agent who is a robot with independent artificial intelligence (AI) embedded. It would take place in the near future.

Some plot parameters:

1. Robots with AI can act and make decisions independently.
2. They are owned by whoever paid for their creation. They are expensive to build.
3. They have no emotions (feelings).
4. They can link with the internet from almost everywhere and communicate with each other telepathically.
5. They have no gender.
6. Nearly all work in high tech or research jobs. Most are owned by the government.
7. They are programed not to injure or kill humans. It’s illegal to weapons an AI robot. They carry no weapons.
8. There is great bias against robots and AI particularly.

Special Agent Dent is the first AI robot allowed to work outside a forensics lab for the FBI. He is assigned to the Mexican Cartel Task Force. He has a human partner in case there’s any shooting required. Dent has a secret desire to become more human (Pinocchio?). His partner is trying to overcome his own bias to understand AI robots. As the story develops, Dent falls in love (an impossibility for a robot) with another robot.

What do you think? Would you read it?

Have you ever noticed on your news feed when a beautiful woman’s picture appears above the caption that says she “stuns” in a bikini or bathing suit that if you click on it, there’s no picture of her? You got it—Click Bait. It works. Maybe I’m just a pervert, but I fall for it every time. Enough. I will no longer fall for click bait.

However, you must admit it’s a good way to get readers to open the article. I guess the writers are paid by the number of people who click on the posting, whether they read it or not.
Sometimes the articles are really ads for bikinis. When you scroll down you see several pictures of bikinis with no one wearing them.

It's not just men who get suckered in by click bait. You’ve all seen those leads that say some handsome dude is bearing his abs. The only difference is they actually post a picture of some guy bearing his abs.
​
Well, I want people to read my blog where I post humor articles (like this one). Spoiler Alert! I will never pose in a any type of bathing suit. I’m going to give click bait a try. I hope you aren’t too disappointed. Just for the record, I am stunning in a bathing suit, just not in a good way.