Hail Supreme Leader,
We recently concluded our reconnaissance of the small planet (named Earth by the inhabitants). Using our stealth technology and cloaking device we landed on Earth undetected. It was Star Date 92-84-18274. We learned later that the residents, known as earthlings, tell dates and time by the rotation of the planet and the orbit around their star. By Earth’s system, it was the thirty-first day of the tenth month of the year 2017.
As our protocol requires, we stayed hidden and observed for a few hours. The natives seem to live in small family units in dwellings they build. There was little activity at first. Apparently, they are nocturnal creatures. The few we saw were in vehicles with four wheels. However, after dark we got our first close look at earthlings. They moved about in small hunting groups consisting of a variety of creatures. Some were tall, about twice our size while others were short – about our size or even smaller. All had hideous features. A few carried weapons although we did not see them use them.
We decided to approach one group to see if they could take us to their leader. We couldn’t communicate with them, but they made us understand they wanted us to join their group. They were not frightened of us nor aggressive toward us. In fact, they were quite friendly. We followed them as they approached a dwelling. When the family unit came to the opening of the dwelling, the entire group yelled, in their language, “Trick or Treat”. We couldn’t determine what that meant but immediately, the occupants gave the creatures small gifts which they put in bags they carried for this purpose. We surmise the group threated to attack the dwelling unless a ransom was paid. They even offered us gifts which we accepted for further study. We discovered the gifts were food (too sweet for my taste). As we suspected, this was a hunting party seeking food. It included several different species, each more frightful than the next. They appeared to be without leaders. They moved as a group taking the food but never too much. They took enough food to last for a month or more.
During these visits to the dwelling we saw our first evidence of violence. In front of some of the dwelling, there were heads of another species that we never encountered. The heads were orange in color. Some wore a small green hat. Most of the heads had been hollowed out and a light placed inside. We never saw the rest of the bodies, only the severed heads. At first, we thought the intent was to frighten away these hunting parties, but it seemed to have no effect on them. They may serve as a trophy of some sort. Apparently, earthlings eat the brains of this species.
We also observed on or near the dwellings, small creatures with eight legs. They lived on webbing stretched between bushes or trees. They did not move when we approached and appeared to be dead or sleeping. If they were supposed to guard the dwellings, they did a terrible job. They may have been pets.
Based on our observations, we recommend that Earth be considered off limits to future contact since the earthlings are armed and dangerous. There doesn’t appear to be one dominate species, but several species that hunt together, but sometimes kill and eat each other.
Your Loyal Servant,
Commander, 1134 Recon Patrol
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