Do you make New Year Resolutions? How long do they last? Mine never last long. I thought if I blog about it, maybe I can keep my resolutions. Here they are:
1.      I resolve not to have any more birthdays when I turn 75. Age 75 is the medium. Per the CDC, 5% of the population will die before they reach 40 and 50% will die before they reach 75. Of those over 75, 100% will die. Therefore, it makes good sense to stop getting older, probably at 39 but since I missed that one, I’ll go for 75.
2.      I resolve to lose weight. I’m going to try that Chinese diet. You can eat all you want, but you get only one chop stick. My back up diet is the one where when you put something in your mouth, if it tastes good, you spit it out.
3.      I resolve to start exercising. My doctor said that running my mouth, jumping to conclusions, racing to the bathroom, flapping my gums, rolling my eyes and yelling at the TV aren’t exercise.
4.      I resolve to be more tolerate of others. We should respect the opinions of others so matter how stupid they are.
5.      I resolve to eat more sensibly. I have trouble reading the label, and I know that I should eat more vegetables. Vegetables are green (most of them) and good for you. Therefore, if food comes in a green can or package, it must be healthy.
6.      I resolve to get more sleep. This will be easy. I’ll either had an extra hour to my two naps or add a third nap.
7.      I resolve to cook more and eat in rather than eating out or ordering take out. Here’s another easy one. If I can fit it into a microwave, I can cook it.
8.      I resolve to clean the house and keep it that way. One Mondays, I’ll dust and vacuum. On Tuesdays, I’ll clean the bathrooms. On Wednesdays, I’ll clean the kitchen and dining room. On… to hell with this.
9.      I resolve to write my Great American Novel. This should be easy. If I write one page per day, I’ll end the year with over 300 pages, enough for a novel. The trick is not to be distracted… oh, look, there’s some cute pictures of kittens on Facebook.
10.  I resolve to drink less coffee. I figure if I freeze the coffee, I can chew it.
11.  I resolve to drink less alcohol. I’ll stop drinking as soon as I discover a better way to get it down.
12.  I resolve to start mediating. I’ve tried mediation before. After five minutes, I usually fall asleep. Maybe this time it’ll stick.
13.  I resolve to watch less TV. Of course, I do have a few exceptions: crime/detective shows, comedies, news, movies, documentaries, realities show, anything on the history channel, medical shows and any show after 6 PM.​

What New Year resolutions do you have? Let’s hear them. Good luck keeping them.

Okay, I’ve posted this before (02/27/2017 & 01/25/2016) but no one listened. Here it is again. Maybe now someone will pay attention. We’re in a partial of the government over paying for a wall with Mexico. The POTUS is demanding $5 billion for the wall while Congress is willing to pay only $1.3 billion. So, the shutdown continues. The solution is simple.

Let’s face the facts. People want to come to the USA for a better life or escape prosecution in their country. Many try to cross the border from #Mexico. They come from #CentralAmerica, South America and from overseas. Spin off problems include the large influx of unaccompanied children, #amnesty for illegal aliens, undocumented workers, keeping our borders secure, drugs, crime, etc. To paraphrase a Mexican bandit leader named "Gold Hat" (played by Alfonso Bedoya) in the movie The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "Walls? We don't need no stinkin' walls!"
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Here’s the simple solution; annex Central America. Make it a territory of the United States -- problem solved. The US should annex Central America down to the Panama Canal. That includes Mexico, #Guatemala, #Honduras, #CostaRica, and half of #Panama. We would make it a territory like #Guam, #PuertoRico, the Virgin Islands and #Hollywood or add five new states. The good news is that we already have the troops positioned along the border.

Here’s the impact of that solution:
1. All the people in Central America would be US citizens -- no need to immigrate.
2. The Panama Canal is a great barrier; no need to build a wall. We could fill the canal with sharks. The canal is 48 miles long – a fraction of length of the southern border with Mexico. Plus, it’ll be difficult to dig tunnels under the canal. A portion is under water which can be patrolled by boats and a couple of guard towers.
3. It would probably mean more votes for the Democratic Party.
4. The Panama Canal would be returned to the US ownership -- more income.
5. More illegal drugs would be available at lower prices. Many cartels would be out of business.
6.  No one would need a visa to take a vacation in Central America.
7. People would then be able to eat real Mexican food.
8. School kids would have to learn where Costa Rica is located.
9. The NRA will be happy to learn that many of the people in Central America are already armed.
10. The area is already named “America.”
11. This action will put the Canadians on notice to clean up their act.

The lower cost to build a wall should make this a no-brainer.

Drones are in the news again. Gatwick's Airport (UK) was shut down for more than 24 hours starting Wednesday night due to drones flying over the airfield. Recently, a Grupo Aeromexico Boeing 737 was struck by a possible drone shortly before landing at the Tijuana Airport. The FAA has rules for drone pilots. The most important rules are:
·         Fly at or below 400 feet when in uncontrolled airspace (Class G)
·         Fly within visual line-of-sight, meaning you as the drone operator use your own eyes and needed contacts or glasses (without binoculars), to ensure you can see your drone at all times.
·         Never fly near other aircraft. (follow airspace restrictions)
·         Never fly over groups of people, public events, or stadiums full of people.
·         Never fly near or over emergency response efforts.

I think that the FAA should a few more rules such as:
1. Pizza must still be delivered within 30 minutes or it's free.
2. Restaurants must have a drone free seating area.
3. Drones must not be used to deliver court summons or divorce papers.
4. Home owners should be allowed to shoot down drones that fly over their property.
5. Drones can be used at sporting events provided both teams have them and the drones can fight each other in aerial combat.
6. Drones can't be used to hold a place in line or a parking spot.
7. Drones can be used to chase mimes.
8. Drone operators can't fly drones while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
9. Drone operators must renew their licenses every year otherwise they drone on and on and on.
10.  The paparazzi can't use drones to track celebrities.
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Perhaps these additional rules will cut down on drone incidents. I hope so.
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If you have ever been #unemployed and looked for a position you know about elevator pitches. They're those 30-second speeches that you can rattle off on a second's notice anywhere, anytime. It comes in handy when you're caught off guard and aren't sure what to say when someone asks, “What do you do?” or “Do you carry your lunch or walk to school?” Once you write it and practice it to perfection, you go looking for an elevator and ride it run up and down until a hiring manager gets in. Now you may wonder how to start a conversation when you're finally in an elevator with a hiring manager. One way to break the ice is to ask, “Did you fart?” When the hiring manager answers, start your elevator pitch.
Riding up and down in elevators is a little too obvious. It's enough to make managers take the stairs. I have found you have a better chance if you hang around the restroom. When the proper manager arrives to pee, and they all do sooner or later, start your speech. They are a captive audience, at least for the time it takes to make your pitch.
Hiring managers get a little bored at hearing elevator speeches in elevators or restrooms so I recommend the non-elevator speech. Rewrite your pitch so it doesn't sound like a pitch. Here is an example that I used when I was seeking a position as a writer:
“Hi, my name is Monte. I'm sorry. I guess you thought I was going to give you an elevator pitch. No, I wouldn't do that. I just here to mingle and relax. I could though. I mean, I'm a writer so I could write an elevator pitch if I wanted to. I have good presentation skills, so I'm sure I could recite the pitch perfectly. After all, I have published several e-books and a couple of novels. I find writing is a good way to utilize my master’s degree and vast experience. I could even write it with others since I'm such a good team player. I won't bore you with all the details of my work history or the numerous articles I have written for magazines. Unless, of course, you're interested. Another time perhaps. Here is my card. Oh, I've attached my resume to it in case you're hiring. Bye.”
​I should warn you that I never got hired. Go figure.
A

We just survived one storm system that brought snow a freezing weather. Now another one is one the way. It will cross the Mid-Atlantic region then shift south of New England through Sunday. Here in New York, we will have freezing rain and snow.  With a nod to #JohnnyCarson, I have to say that it is cold here in #NewYork. How cold is it, you ask? It is so cold that:
1. I had a thought and it froze.
2. My farts fall to the floor, roll around and crack open.
3. My dogs refuse to go outside without coats and boots.
4. When the forecast is for 5 degrees above zero, I look forward to the warmer weather.
5. I tried to spit and injured a bystander.
6. When I blink, my eyelashes freeze together.
7. I thought perhaps the White Soxs won the world series since hell must have frozen over.
8. I started a heated argument with my wife just to get warm.
9. I saw a Yeti driving a snow plow.
10. I'm using ice melt in my coffee.​

Perhaps you have some similar experiences to share.
A

I like to watch TV and movies, I’ll admit it. On some of my favorite shows there one character who I call the philosopher. This includes characters like Marjorie Armstrong (Mimi Kennedy) in the TV series Mom, Yoda in the movie Star Wars and Master Po in the TV series Kung Fu. It seems like everything they say is wise. After a while it wears thin on me. Here is a sample dialogue between such a character and another character—a little exaggerated perhaps. I’ll use Marjorie and Christy as an example. (My apologies to the writers of Mom.)

Christy: Marjorie, I’m going out to buy coffee. You want anything?
Marjorie: A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.
Christy: Yeah, that may be but I just going to the store which is three blocks away and I’m driving.
Marjorie: Well, I’ll miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Christy: I’ll just be gone fifteen minutes at the most.
Marjorie: Don’t rush. Better late than never.
Christy: Would you rather I go tomorrow?
Marjorie: No. No. You go. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
Christy: I asked you if you wanted anything. Do you?
Marjorie: No. You go. Life is a journey. Hold on and enjoy the ride
Christy: You know, sometimes you drive me crazy.
Marjorie: That okay. The clouds may come, and the tears may fall but hang on, my friend. The sun will come, and your smile will reappear.
Christy: Just once I’d like a straight answer.
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See what I mean?
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or ​I'm sure that you all have seen news stories that quoted or referred to an “unnamed source” or some other source.  You may have wondered who this source was and what his/her job was. Let me clarify this for you. There are various types of sources for news. Where that source is from can determine what the source is called. For example, a source might be declared as a “government source” or an “industry source” because they work for the industry for the government. Other common sources are:
An Insider Source—a source who works indoors.
Confidential Source—a source that is very confident.
Official Source—someone who has the job title of “official source”.
Anonymous Source—usually a source whose name the reporter has forgotten.
Unnamed Source—often an anonymous source but usually a source the reporter doesn’t name because it might piss the source off.
A Spokesperson—an official source for an organization.
A Close Source—a source who stands very near someone in the news and is also an anonymous source., For example, “sources close to the POTUS”.
 
Anyone who works at the Pentagon can be a Pentagon Source or a Pentagon Insider. When I worked at the Pentagon, I was surprised to discover that reporters will randomly call the Pentagon telephone numbers hoping that someone, anyone will answer the phone. No matter who answers, the reporters will fire off questions on the current situation. Pentagon sources are classified as:
High-level Pentagon Source – Someone who works on the fifth floor of the Pentagon-- sometimes referred to as a “Top-level” Pentagon source.
Pentagon Source – Someone who works at the Pentagon but not on the fifth floor.
Confidential Pentagon Source – Someone who works at the Pentagon but can't remember what floor he/she works on, a common malady at the Pentagon.
 
Reporters classify the information they gain from sources as:
"On the record": This means the reporter recorded it on something other than a piece of paper. All that is said can be quoted and attributed.
"Unattributable": This means the report has no idea what the source said.
"Off the record": This means that the batteries went dead on the reporter’s recorder.
 
I hope this clarifies the source of news for you.