I read a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that found people who partially confessed to a misdeed ended up feeling worse than those who fully confessed. Apparently, a full confession is good for the soul - good news for Catholics. The study stated a partial confession eases the guilty feeling but still lets us get away with some bad behavior. We sometimes use a partial confession to make ourselves look better in the eyes of others. A partial confession often seems more believable. I’m not sure if the timing of this study had anything to do with Russian-gate (you read it here first). The study looked at such issues as cheating, breaking the law, infidelity, stealing, drug use, and lying. I found it interesting that these significant issues weren’t considered:
1. Farting. This could be in bed, in the living room, or in an elevator. It is a compelling reason to own a dog.
2. Eating the last doughnut. When confronted with this accusation, it is best not to have the tell-tale powdered sugar on your face or clothes. You ate only the low-cal ones.
3. Not reading the entire agreement before clicking on “I agree” or “I have read all the terms of agreement.” Guilty! No comment.
4. Removing the tag on bedding that says, “DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENTALITY OF LAW.” I know you did it because sometimes you need to feel a little wild – an outlaw.
5. Denying that you were looking at a woman’s cleavage or a man’s tight jeans. I’m not sure how you could partially confess to this. Could you say you had one eye closed and it was your bad eye? Our you could fake blindness. Works for me.
6. Stating that you have no idea how you gained weight while on a diet. Again, guilty. It couldn’t be the wine you drink – wine comes from grapes – a fruit. It can’t be chocolate candy – chocolate comes from the coco bean – again a fruit.
7. Telling your significant other you weren’t flirting with his/her best friend. No, you are just being friendly. Not your type anyway.
8. Telling the police officer that pulled you over you had no idea how fast you were driving. You were just trying to blow out the carbon from the engine. Maybe you thought the officer was your ex stalking you. Could work.
9. Telling your significant other you aren’t sneaking a smoke after you swore to give up smoking. Of course not! You gave your word and if anything, your word is good.
10. Telling your doctor you feel just fine. You don’t want any new meds. You can’t afford the fee. Whatever. Don’t tell the doctor about the chest pains. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
Those are just a few issues that the study failed to address. I am sure that you readers can think of more. Let me know.
1. Farting. This could be in bed, in the living room, or in an elevator. It is a compelling reason to own a dog.
2. Eating the last doughnut. When confronted with this accusation, it is best not to have the tell-tale powdered sugar on your face or clothes. You ate only the low-cal ones.
3. Not reading the entire agreement before clicking on “I agree” or “I have read all the terms of agreement.” Guilty! No comment.
4. Removing the tag on bedding that says, “DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENTALITY OF LAW.” I know you did it because sometimes you need to feel a little wild – an outlaw.
5. Denying that you were looking at a woman’s cleavage or a man’s tight jeans. I’m not sure how you could partially confess to this. Could you say you had one eye closed and it was your bad eye? Our you could fake blindness. Works for me.
6. Stating that you have no idea how you gained weight while on a diet. Again, guilty. It couldn’t be the wine you drink – wine comes from grapes – a fruit. It can’t be chocolate candy – chocolate comes from the coco bean – again a fruit.
7. Telling your significant other you weren’t flirting with his/her best friend. No, you are just being friendly. Not your type anyway.
8. Telling the police officer that pulled you over you had no idea how fast you were driving. You were just trying to blow out the carbon from the engine. Maybe you thought the officer was your ex stalking you. Could work.
9. Telling your significant other you aren’t sneaking a smoke after you swore to give up smoking. Of course not! You gave your word and if anything, your word is good.
10. Telling your doctor you feel just fine. You don’t want any new meds. You can’t afford the fee. Whatever. Don’t tell the doctor about the chest pains. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
Those are just a few issues that the study failed to address. I am sure that you readers can think of more. Let me know.
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