Congress As the year comes to a close there is a buzz about how poor Congress has been for 2013. People point out the low number of bills passed by this Congress, and I think that is unfair. We should not judge Congress by the sheer number of laws passed but by the quality of those laws. I would rather see one great bill passed than to have one hundred lousy laws on the books. So let’s exam the quality of the laws passed by Congress in 2013. Wait a minute...Ops! Sorry. I got nothing.
You may have seen this little item in USA Today. The headline read, “Thailand: Police seize 14 elephants with fake IDs.” August 21, 2013, Thai police made several arrests and broke up a gang that smuggled elephants. The elephants had fake IDs and may be illegal aliens from neighboring Myanmar or from the wild. Now you might wonder why Thai elephants need IDs. Well, there are several reasons:
1. to show that they are legal aliens and documented.
2. so they can vote.
3. so they can drive a car.
4. as proof of age in case they want to buy alcohol.
5. so that they can carry a concealed weapon.
You may also wonder, as I did, where an elephant would carry an ID (or a driver’s license or weapon for that matter). Wait for it! Wait for it! In their trunk! Oh, ... you saw that one coming.
If Mark Twin had a cell phone he may have texted the following:
6:06 PM - Guys! Coming down w/ head cold. Any remedies? –Mark
6:06 PM – My old standby is a glass of whiskey b4 bed.-Tom
6:06 PM – Have a c. of whiskey @ bed time. –Dick
6:07 PM – 8 oz. of whiskey b4 bed should do it. –Harry
6:07 PM – I use 3 fingers of whiskey – straight up. – Nimrod
6:08 PM – Thanks. That is about 2 pints. I will try it & call you in the am.
If Julius Caesar had a cell phone he may have texted the following:
9:15 PM Hey, Julius. Did u get to Gaul? –Cicero
9:16 PM I came. –Julius
9:16 PM Did you c Paris? – Cicero
9:17 PM I saw. –Julius
9:17 PM Then what did u do? –Cicero
9:18 PM I conquered. –Julius
You may have seen this little item in USA Today. The headline read, “Thailand: Police seize 14 elephants with fake IDs.” August 21, 2013, Thai police made several arrests and broke up a gang that smuggled elephants. The elephants had fake IDs and may be illegal aliens from neighboring Myanmar or from the wild. Now you might wonder why Thai elephants need IDs. Well, there are several reasons:
1. to show that they are legal aliens and documented.
2. so they can vote.
3. so they can drive a car.
4. as proof of age in case they want to buy alcohol.
5. so that they can carry a concealed weapon.
You may also wonder, as I did, where an elephant would carry an ID (or a driver’s license or weapon for that matter). Wait for it! Wait for it! In their trunk! Oh, ... you saw that one coming.
If Mark Twin had a cell phone he may have texted the following:
6:06 PM - Guys! Coming down w/ head cold. Any remedies? –Mark
6:06 PM – My old standby is a glass of whiskey b4 bed.-Tom
6:06 PM – Have a c. of whiskey @ bed time. –Dick
6:07 PM – 8 oz. of whiskey b4 bed should do it. –Harry
6:07 PM – I use 3 fingers of whiskey – straight up. – Nimrod
6:08 PM – Thanks. That is about 2 pints. I will try it & call you in the am.
If Julius Caesar had a cell phone he may have texted the following:
9:15 PM Hey, Julius. Did u get to Gaul? –Cicero
9:16 PM I came. –Julius
9:16 PM Did you c Paris? – Cicero
9:17 PM I saw. –Julius
9:17 PM Then what did u do? –Cicero
9:18 PM I conquered. –Julius
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