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Dennis Hasbert in Intensive Rehabilitation Therapy

4/10/2016

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​According to the Chicago AP, former U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert has agreed to pay $3.5 million to the victim of his sex-abuse. He still hasn’t been sentenced. Rumor has it he may also undergo “Intensive Rehabilitation Therapy” commonly used by politicians and celebrities. I was able to obtain from a confidential source a copy of the “Intense Therapy” that Dennis Hasbert may undertake. The program is known as Bogus and Unauthentic Legalized Larceny and Spurious Hypocritical Intense Therapy (BULL SH*T). This intense therapy is for one week.

Sunday Mixer
Join in a mixer for all attendees Sunday night at 7 PM until? Meet the instructors and fellow politicians who have fallen from grace. Open bar and free marijuana tasting (not yet available in all states).

Monday Session
How to Hold a Press Conference. Learn how to deny charges without using the telltale signs for lying. Learn how to say “intense therapy” with a straight face. Learn how to pronounce new words like “paparazzi”. Panel discussion with panelists Bob Filner, Anthony Weiner, Eliot Spitzer, Alex Baldwin and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Tuesdays Session
Sex-Abuse 101. Learn how to pay hush money without leaving a paper trail. Included are proven methods to avoid blackmail and getting caught.

Wednesday Sessions
Recreational Drugs for the Whole Family. Learn the proper way to use a bong.

Thursday Sessions
Stings are my Favorite Things. Learn to identify a sting operation. Learn the best hiding places for your drugs. Learn how to avoid a body cavity search.

Friday Sessions
Yes, You Can Be Re-elected. Instructor - Mark Sanford, re-elected Congressman for South Carolina.

Closing Ceremony: Graduation ceremony for those who have not dropped out of the program, been removed from office or arrested.

For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
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    Author

    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com


    Buy Monte's e-books:
    The Throuple Private Eye--Business is Booming.
    ​​The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    ​
    A Head for Murder
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

    FREE E-BOOKS:
    Angels and Gargoyles

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