Don’t Do These Things While on Vacation

I read with interest on my newsfeed that the Spanish Steps in Rome are no longer a place for sitting. Rome has passed a law that states people tourists may not sit, eat and or drink on these steps as well as other popular tourist attractions. Of course, there are many things that tourists shouldn’t do while on vacation and most aren’t illegal—yet.


As a public service, I’ll list them here:

1. Don’t call the hotel front desk to ask for drugs or prostitutes.
2. Don’t shoot weapons off the hotel balcony.
3. Don’t say the “B” word while going through security at the airport.
4. Don’t say “Hi” to your friend Jack on the plane.
5. Don’t barbeque in your hotel room or while on a plane.
6. Don’t try to share your meth with the pilot or taxis drivers.
7. Don’t try to bribe the TSA workers.
8. Don’t make fun of the voodoo witch doctor.
9. Don’t ask for a longer bungee cord when bungie jumping.
10. When in a foreign country or in Chicago, don’t flash a wad of cash.
11. Don’t remove coins from a fountain in Italy.
12. Don’t pull out a toy gun at the Wailing Wall in Israel or any Walmart.
13. Don’t try to climb the Eiffel Tower.
14. Don’t try to straight up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
15. Don’t ask the Pope, “How’re they hanging?”
16. Don’t ask the Queen of England if she shops at Costco.
17. Don’t ask the Pope if he stole his robe from the hotel.
18. Don’t take your service dog sky diving.
19. Don’t try to order a hot dog in Frankfurt, a hamburger in Hamburg or a Danish in Denmark.
20. Don’t pet or tease the buffalos, tigers, bears or alligators.

 
I’m sure there are others, but this list will start you on your vacation.

---