I will not give up my tank. There was an interesting item in the news today from Oregon. According to the Oregon State Police, a 58-year-old man who purchased a 1969 Chieftain tank accidently drove it across U.S. Highway 101 and crashed through a guardrail. He tried again and the tank rolled backward through another guardrail and down an embankment. The police cited the owner for reckless driving and first-degree criminal mischief. The tank had no damage. Duh! Rumor has it that the owner said he needed it for deer hunting.
I have seen the question on some military web sites whether it is lawful to own a tank. There you have it. Yes, you have the constitutional right to own a tank. You don’t need to know how to drive it in Oregon. Texas might consider it a concealed weapon.
The story reminded me of an incident that happened at Ft. Knox when I was attending the Armor Officer Advance Course in the early 70s. The annual Armor Conference was held there, and the Military Police were told to cut people some slack. A Charge of Quarters called the MPs to a barracks because one soldier was drunk and rowdy. When the MPs told him to cool it, he threatened to steal a tank and drive through the MP headquarters. The MP ignored the threat. The soldier went to the motor pool and stole a tank. The motor pool was guarded by soldiers with baseball bats; a policy that soon changed. The soldier drove through the gate and over to the MP station. He mistook the snack bar for the station (did I mention he was drunk?) and smashed the tank into the brick structure. Realizing his mistake, he backed up over some parked cars and smashed into the MP station. Of course, by that time the MPs were alerted and had released the prisoners and evacuated the building. He then drove around the post in this tank. Finally, when he stopped for a red light, an MP jumped out and put a gun to his head.
Everyone at the Armor Conference thought it was hilarious. People went over to the MP station and picked up bricks as souvenirs. For years afterwards, those bricks were seen all over post as paperweights. The soldier got off with just a reprimand. He had become a folk hero.
For more humor, purchase my collection of short stories, Monte's Shorts, http://smashwsords.com/b/214041.
I have seen the question on some military web sites whether it is lawful to own a tank. There you have it. Yes, you have the constitutional right to own a tank. You don’t need to know how to drive it in Oregon. Texas might consider it a concealed weapon.
The story reminded me of an incident that happened at Ft. Knox when I was attending the Armor Officer Advance Course in the early 70s. The annual Armor Conference was held there, and the Military Police were told to cut people some slack. A Charge of Quarters called the MPs to a barracks because one soldier was drunk and rowdy. When the MPs told him to cool it, he threatened to steal a tank and drive through the MP headquarters. The MP ignored the threat. The soldier went to the motor pool and stole a tank. The motor pool was guarded by soldiers with baseball bats; a policy that soon changed. The soldier drove through the gate and over to the MP station. He mistook the snack bar for the station (did I mention he was drunk?) and smashed the tank into the brick structure. Realizing his mistake, he backed up over some parked cars and smashed into the MP station. Of course, by that time the MPs were alerted and had released the prisoners and evacuated the building. He then drove around the post in this tank. Finally, when he stopped for a red light, an MP jumped out and put a gun to his head.
Everyone at the Armor Conference thought it was hilarious. People went over to the MP station and picked up bricks as souvenirs. For years afterwards, those bricks were seen all over post as paperweights. The soldier got off with just a reprimand. He had become a folk hero.
For more humor, purchase my collection of short stories, Monte's Shorts, http://smashwsords.com/b/214041.
RSS Feed
