A&E labels Duck dynasty a “reality sitcom”, but the reality is that they don’t want too much of Phil’s reality. Rumors have it that A&E is looking for a replacement. They narrowed their search down to Pee Wee Herman, Hermit the Frog and Bill Clinton’s brother, Roger. Apparently, they considered Donald Duck but quickly shot that idea down.
Here is an advance copy of the apology that Phil may deliver in the next few days. I can’t vouch for the validity of the source. “I was quoted in CQ magazine making some remarks about adulterers, homosexuals, and swindlers. I want to sincerely apologize to adulterers and swindlers for implying that they are homosexuals. That was not my intent. Damn, some of my best friends are adulterers. We’re like peas in a pod. I realized most of you are as straight as my crossbow. Sorry dudes.”
Apparently, there is no truth to the rumor that CQ made an offer to hire Phil as a men’s clothing and personal grooming advisor. Too bad. I was hoping to find out how he keeps his eyebrows so bushy. This could be the end of Duck Dynasty as we know it.
Rumor has it that now that #Dennis Rodman is in #North Korea, all of his uncles are hiding in undisclosed locations.