Tomorrow is Halloween, my least favorite holiday. I wrote about this a few days ago but I thought I would post it again. I used to love Halloween, but over the years, I have changed my mind. However, Halloween teaches us several lessons that we can pass on to our children. For example:
1. It celebrates our pagan roots.
2. It is okay to hide behind a mask.
3. It is okay to take candy from strangers.
4. It is okay to extort goodies from strangers with the threat of vandalism.
5. It is okay to vandalize personal property.
6. It is okay to scare the hell out of people, especially young children.
7. It is okay to eat high sugar and high calorie goodies.
8. It is permissible to form in gangs on Halloween night.
I read in The Week magazine that a Tennessee lawyer is suing Apple. He claims that Apple failed to warn him that
online porn might give him unrealistic expectations for sex. Duh! We all have unrealistic expectations for sex. Apparently, the law school that he attended does not want their name revealed. That started me thinking that I should provide some warnings with my blog.
Here goes:
WARNING!
Reading this blog may cause laughter which might result in a pulled stomach muscles, injured funny bones, coffee or milk to pour from the nose, and self-inflicted wounds caused by slapping knees or
foreheads.
WARNING!
Reading blogs may cause eyestrain, deep thoughts (rare), raised eyebrows, furrowing of the forehead, gnashing of teeth, and shaking of the head. If you think you have any of these symptoms, return to my blog tomorrow for more of the same. Consider yourself warned.
for more humor, purchase my e-book, Monte's Shorts, at http://smashwords.com/b/214041.
1. It celebrates our pagan roots.
2. It is okay to hide behind a mask.
3. It is okay to take candy from strangers.
4. It is okay to extort goodies from strangers with the threat of vandalism.
5. It is okay to vandalize personal property.
6. It is okay to scare the hell out of people, especially young children.
7. It is okay to eat high sugar and high calorie goodies.
8. It is permissible to form in gangs on Halloween night.
I read in The Week magazine that a Tennessee lawyer is suing Apple. He claims that Apple failed to warn him that
online porn might give him unrealistic expectations for sex. Duh! We all have unrealistic expectations for sex. Apparently, the law school that he attended does not want their name revealed. That started me thinking that I should provide some warnings with my blog.
Here goes:
WARNING!
Reading this blog may cause laughter which might result in a pulled stomach muscles, injured funny bones, coffee or milk to pour from the nose, and self-inflicted wounds caused by slapping knees or
foreheads.
WARNING!
Reading blogs may cause eyestrain, deep thoughts (rare), raised eyebrows, furrowing of the forehead, gnashing of teeth, and shaking of the head. If you think you have any of these symptoms, return to my blog tomorrow for more of the same. Consider yourself warned.
for more humor, purchase my e-book, Monte's Shorts, at http://smashwords.com/b/214041.
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