1. Go to your boss or his/her boss; the higher the better. Volunteer for the layoff (stay with me now). Tell them that you heard rumors of a layoff and you would like to volunteer to be one of the employees laid off. Ask them to please not lay off so-and-so (someone you can’t stand). The boss will be stunned while pretending he/she has no idea what you are talking about. They will ask, “Why?” You say, “Because I don’t think that so-and-so will be able to handle the stress of being laid off along with her/his other problems. The boss will ask, “What problems?” You say, “Problems like drinking and drugs, plus all the financial issues that go along with gambling addiction. I don’t think the rehab is working and I fear possible suicide if so-and-so is laid off.” When the layoffs are announced act surprised when you name is not on the list and so-and-so’s name is.
2. Figure out who will be in charge of the committee that determines the company organization after the merger (layoffs and/or downsizing).Go to that person and ask to be on the committee. Then make sure you have a secure position after the merger and downsizing.
Here is a fun thing to do if layoff rumors start. Go to your boss just before quitting time on Friday. Ask your boss, “Are you being laid off?” The boss will say, “I don’t think so.” Then you say, “Well, that’s the rumor. Have a nice weekend.” Always good for a laugh.