Karma is a Messy Affair
“Are you sure this is a good idea; bringing me here while your wife is out of town?” Judy asked.
Chris took her into his arms and smiled. “Of course. She’ll be gone for three more days. I’m tired of sneaking around in cheap hotels. For once we can stay the night and wake up next to each other in bed.”
“But if your wife finds out…”
Chris shook his head. “I got it all figured out. You’ll be gone before she returns along with any evidence that you were ever here.”
Judy smiled back. “Actually, I’m looking forward to it. We’ve been dating for almost a year, and this is the first time I’ve been in your home. Very nice, by the way.”
“I know. It’ll be great. We can do the things we couldn’t do before: make love at night, have breakfast in bed, watch late night TV.” Chris kissed her. “I’m glad to see that you didn’t wear any lip stick or makeup like I asked. My wife has a nose like a blood hound.”
“I understand. After all, I’m a woman.”
“And a beautiful one at that. No jewelry?”
“Just like you said – no makeup, no jewelry, no body wash, no hair spray, etc. You may not like me when you smell the real me.”
Chris smiled. “I doubt that. Before my wife gets home, I’ll wash all the bedding and take out the trash. Heaven forbid she should find a condom wrapper in thrash. Did you bring the stuff I told you?”
Judy removed a piece of paper from her pocket. “I brought everything on this list. I have the shower cap, slippers, toothbrush, …everything.”
Could you put on the shower cap and slippers now?”
Judy frowned. “Are you serious? I thought you were joking when you said I need to wear them all the time in the house.”
“I know, I know, it’s a hassle, but if my wife finds one stray hair or one-foot print, she’ll know I’m having an affair. She’s like Sherlock Holmes. We must be very careful. That’s how my first marriage ended. I made mistakes. I’ve learned to be more careful. After all, we’ve been dating for a year, and my wife doesn’t suspect a thing.”
“Should I wear gloves?”
Chris laughed. “No, no, that would be necessary. I’ll wipe down everything after you leave.”
Judy tilted her head. “So how did your first wife catch you?”
“Lip stick on a cigarette butt in the trash. She didn’t smoke.”
Judy laughed. “Thank goodness, I don’t smoke. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Chris answered.
“Your current wife, was she the one you had affair with when you were married to wife number one?”
Chris shrugged his shoulders. “Busted. Yeah, that’s why we must be so careful. She knows I might cheat on her.”
Judy put her arms around Chris’ waist and kissed him. “Well, I glad you’re cheating on her with me. I’m looking forward to these next few days.”
“Yeah, me too. I’ll make dinner.”
Judy smiled. “You promised me breakfast too, remember.”
“That too. Let me set the table.” Chris went into the kitchen and returned with paper plates and plastic cups. A bottle of wine was tucked under his arm.
Judy took one look and picked up a paper plate. “Really? Paper plates?”
Chris continued to set the table with plastic dinner ware and paper napkins. “Trust me, Judy. One fingerprint and it’s divorce-ville for me. This is the only way. We’ll burn everything in the fireplace.”
“Okay, I guess. I just thought we’d have a romantic dinner.”
Chris raised his eyebrows. “Right. I’ll get some candles.” He walked back into the kitchen.
Judy heard Chris rummaging through cabinets. She decided to make her move. She grabbed her purse and removed a thong and sighed. It was her favorite – pretty and sexy. One squirt from her perfume bottle and it was ready. Between the cushions of the couch was the perfect hiding place for it. Next thing out of her purse was a pair of earrings – not her favorite. Under the cushion of the chair was another excellent hiding place. Chris’s wife would be sure to find them. A stray hair from her head was placed on the back of the couch, almost invisible against the same colored fabric. The final touch was another spray of perfume on the underside of a throw pillow.
Judy had thought about telling Chris’ wife about their affair; woman-to-woman but decided to remain anonymous if that was even possible. Satisfied with her work, Judy took her purse, turned on her high heels and left.