Lessons Learnt During a Pandemic

The self-quarantine and lockdown have been hard on all of us, but through it all it has been a learning experience. Here are the lessons I learned during the pandemic:
 

1. 1. Plastic bags do not, I repeat, do not make good facemasks. I learned this the hard way. Do not try it. It was my wife’s idea.
2. 2. Machine washing a facemask to get rid of lipstick ruins the mask. Plus, it won’t get rid of the lipstick. It does remove the coffee stains. It’s best to refrain from kissing and drinking coffee until Phase 4.
3. 3. As we ease into Phase 4, we can tell who cut their own hair or who hasn’t cut their hair for 3 months. Before you get a haircut, you may want to renew your driver’s license with the wild hair so if you get stopped for a DUI you can show that this is how you always look.
4. Come December or January, everyone will know how some people spent their lockdown during the pandemic as we enter the Phase 9 Baby Boom.
5. Apparently, there’s a direct correlation between how much you eat and your weight. I mean, who knew? Has this been a secret all along? It’s little wonder people gained weight during the pandemic.
6. We now know that facemasks are a cure for bad breath. With some folks, social distancing will continue after the masks are removed.
7. Apparently, COVID-19 makes your clothes shrink. It happened to me.
8. Now that more students are home schooled, there’re a lot more Valedictorians.
9. During the lockdown, my wife and I discovered we have a second floor. I’m sure others have discovered extra rooms they forgot about.
10. After the facemasks come off, make sure you have your own kids. Turns out, we’ve been babysitting a couple of kids from the neighborhood.
11. A head butt is not a good greeting to use to avoid shaking hands.

I hope these lessons are like the ones you learnt. If not, tell us what you learned.

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