I got this from a friend. I don't know the author, but I thought that it was cute. It was originally for being over 50 but I changed it to 75. I also added a few more advantages. I don't remember who sent it to me.
Being Over 75 has its Advantages:
1. Kidnappers aren't interested in you, unless you’re filthy rich.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. People call at 9 am and ask, “Did I wake you?”
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out before you die.
7. You can live without sex but not glasses.
8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
9. You can have a party and the neighbors won’t even realize it.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks by.
12.You sing along with the elevator music.
13. Your investment in health insurance is finally starting to pay off while your premiums for life insurance may soon stop.
14. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists that the National Weather Service.
15. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
16. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
17. You can't remember who sent you this.
18. You can tell the same old jokes because young people haven't heard them, and your friends don’t remember them.
19. You can no longer hear your nagging spouse.
20. You now have an excuse for driving with your turn signal on.
21. You can eat, drink and smoke anything you want because you don't have long to live anyway.
22. You can enjoy spoiling your grandkids.