
1. Don’t mention your fraternity or sorority. If your fraternity or sorority hasn’t been in the news recently for some stupid stunt, it will be. Best not to mention it until after you’re hired.
2. Remember that funny video of you drunk and falling into a wedding cake? Yeah, don’t post that video.
3. Check the background of any pictures you post. Make sure you don’t have things like Confederate flags, your pot bong, your collection of Playboy magazines, your exes, or your KKK hood.
4. It may be too soon to list Trump University on your profile. Hold off on that.
5. Remember, drinking beer while standing on your head is not a skill you should list. That also goes for making pipe bombs, stalking, and coloring, sexting, cooking meth, field stripping an AK47, shooting an RPG, breaking and entering, and picking locks.
6. Don’t list references who are still in prison.
7. Do not list your time in prison as an extended vacation.
8. Don’t use family as references unless you still have copies of photographs you can use for blackmail.
9. Don’t list your parole officer as a reference. Same for your Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor.
10. Don’t misspell the name of the university you claim to have attended.
11. Don’t try to be clever in your email address, i.e. buttkicker@whatever.com.
Keep these tips in mind as you build you LinkedIn profile.
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