More Things you Should Never do on your Computer at Work

I read with interest an article a couple of years ago on my news feed by Kate Villa, the “6 Things You Should Never Do on Your Work Computer”. Kate listed these things:

• Never Save Personal Files to Your Desktop. ...
• Don't Go to Any Sites You Wouldn't Show Your Boss. ...
• Don't Have Personal Conversations Over Office Chat. ...
• Fight the Urge to Shop Online. ...
• Don't Use Your Personal Email. ...
• Don't Search for Jobs at Other Companies.

As usual, when people make these lists, Kate missed the mark by a mile. Here’s my list of the additional things you never should do on your work computer. Your work computer should never be used to:

• Sext: clients might be interested in the junk your company sells, but they aren’t interested in your junk.
• Order food delivery to you at the office—unless you order enough for everyone.
• Gossip—unless it’s really juicy gossip.
• Participate in teleconferences in your underwear, especially while drink hot coffee.
• Troll for dates, especially among co-workers.
• Set alarms to wake you up—use a windup alarm or your iPhone.
• Purchase drugs—use the regular office dealer.
• Watch porn—unless, of course, your company is in that industry.
• Gamble—unless, of course, the entire office participates, or your company is in that industry.
• Write a tell-all expose about your company. If you want to be a whistleblower, use your home computer.
• Write the next great American novel on company time, unless you dedicate the book to the company.
• Connect to the hidden cameras you installed in the restrooms.
• Plagiarize from co-workers.

 
I hope this will keep you out of trouble and employed.
 

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