I am writing an exposé that will blow the lid off the code of silence of the brotherhood of men. As a member of the male gender for as long as I can remember, I can no longer abide with the cover up and fraud that men have perpetuated upon women. At the risk of losing my subscription to Esquire Magazine, I will debunk the myths and misconceptions of the mystic of manhood. It will be a tell all, name names (like Thomas, Richard and Harry) and scandalous mea culpa. In all fairness, I want to give my followers and fans, especially the male ones, a heads up and a preview of what to except when my exposé explodes upon the public. I am sure I will receive hate mail and threats from my fellow males for violating the bro code. Sorry guys, but the time has come. It’s Katie bar the door time. This too long for my usual blog, so I will post this in series. Here is Part 1.
Myth Number 1: Men leave the toilet seat up as a way of marking their territory.
The Truth: Men can’t remember to put the seat down. At a very early age, men learn not to pee on the toilet lid and/or seat, so they remember to raise them. However, whenever men manage to get 80% of their bodily fluids into the toilet, they are so proud of themselves that they forget to put the seat down.
Myth Number 2: Men will never admit when they are wrong.
The Truth: Okay, I got nothing. This one is true. Wait! Did I just admit that I was wrong? Maybe there is something here. I’ll get back to you on this. Men don’t like to be embarrassed in front of women.
Myth Number 3: Men have an unerring sense of direction and won’t admit when they’re lost.
The Truth: Men are no better at directions than women are. There, I said it! Why don’t men admit when they are lost and ask for directions? See Myth Number 2. When driving alone, men will seek out another brother and ask for directions. Some men will drive around for hours hoping their female passenger will recognizes a landmark.
Myth Number 3: Men like to BBQ.
The Truth: This one is easy to debunk. Men like meat and will eat almost any meat whether it’s cooked or not. The truth is that since men came out of caves walking upright, fire has fascinated them. Sometimes men will go out and start the grill just to watch it burn without anything cooking.
Myth Number 1: Men leave the toilet seat up as a way of marking their territory.
The Truth: Men can’t remember to put the seat down. At a very early age, men learn not to pee on the toilet lid and/or seat, so they remember to raise them. However, whenever men manage to get 80% of their bodily fluids into the toilet, they are so proud of themselves that they forget to put the seat down.
Myth Number 2: Men will never admit when they are wrong.
The Truth: Okay, I got nothing. This one is true. Wait! Did I just admit that I was wrong? Maybe there is something here. I’ll get back to you on this. Men don’t like to be embarrassed in front of women.
Myth Number 3: Men have an unerring sense of direction and won’t admit when they’re lost.
The Truth: Men are no better at directions than women are. There, I said it! Why don’t men admit when they are lost and ask for directions? See Myth Number 2. When driving alone, men will seek out another brother and ask for directions. Some men will drive around for hours hoping their female passenger will recognizes a landmark.
Myth Number 3: Men like to BBQ.
The Truth: This one is easy to debunk. Men like meat and will eat almost any meat whether it’s cooked or not. The truth is that since men came out of caves walking upright, fire has fascinated them. Sometimes men will go out and start the grill just to watch it burn without anything cooking.
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