Monte R Anderson - Author
  • Monte's Blog
  • About Monte
    • Monte's Resume
    • Monte's Bio
  • Fiction
    • Novels and Books >
      • Night Predator
      • The Clone Murders
      • Angels and Gargoyles
      • Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardos da Vinci's Mentor
      • The Register Cliff Rapist
    • Short Stories >
      • The Tyranny of GPS
      • Ash Wednesday Storm of 1962
      • Good Neighbors
      • What God Hath Joined
    • Plays/Screenplays >
      • St. Michael & Job
      • How to Write a Screenplay for a TV Detective Show
      • Detective Show Spoof
      • Angels and Gargoyles Screenplay
      • Archimedes of Syracuse Screenplay
  • Non-Fiction
    • Leadership for New Managers: Book Two
    • Facility Management Series: Types of Maitenance Programs
  • Stories from Elmira

New Year Resolutions That Work

12/28/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Do you make New Year Resolutions? How long do they last? Mine never last long. I thought if I blog about it, maybe I can keep my resolutions. Here they are:
​1.      I resolve not to have any more birthdays when I turn 75. Age 75 is the medium. Per the CDC, 5% of the population will die before they reach 40 and 50% will die before they reach 75. Of those over 75, 100% will die. Therefore, it makes good sense to stop getting older, probably at 39 but since I missed that one, I’ll go for 75.
2.      I resolve to lose weight. I’m going to try that Chinese diet. You can eat all you want, but you get only one chop stick. My back up diet is the one where when you put something in your mouth, if it tastes good, you spit it out.
3.      I resolve to start exercising. My doctor said that running my mouth, jumping to conclusions, racing to the bathroom, flapping my gums, rolling my eyes and yelling at the TV aren’t exercise.
4.      I resolve to be more tolerate of others. We should respect the opinions of others so matter how stupid they are.
5.      I resolve to eat more sensibly. I have trouble reading the label, and I know that I should eat more vegetables. Vegetables are green (most of them) and good for you. Therefore, if food comes in a green can or package, it must be healthy.
6.      I resolve to get more sleep. This will be easy. I’ll either had an extra hour to my two naps or add a third nap.
7.      I resolve to cook more and eat in rather than eating out or ordering take out. Here’s another easy one. If I can fit it into a microwave, I can cook it.
8.      I resolve to clean the house and keep it that way. One Mondays, I’ll dust and vacuum. On Tuesdays, I’ll clean the bathrooms. On Wednesdays, I’ll clean the kitchen and dining room. On… to hell with this.
9.      I resolve to write my Great American Novel. This should be easy. If I write one page per day, I’ll end the year with over 300 pages, enough for a novel. The trick is not to be distracted… oh, look, there’s some cute pictures of kittens on Facebook.
10.  I resolve to drink less coffee. I figure if I freeze the coffee, I can chew it.
11.  I resolve to drink less alcohol. I’ll stop drinking as soon as I discover a better way to get it down.
12.  I resolve to start mediating. I’ve tried mediation before. After five minutes, I usually fall asleep. Maybe this time it’ll stick.
13.  I resolve to watch less TV. Of course, I do have a few exceptions: crime/detective shows, comedies, news, movies, documentaries, realities show, anything on the history channel, medical shows and any show after 6 PM.
What New Year resolutions do you have? Let’s hear them. Good luck keeping them.
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com

 


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com


    Buy Monte's e-books:
    The Throuple Private Eye--Business is Booming.
    ​​The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    ​
    A Head for Murder
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

    FREE E-BOOKS:
    Angels and Gargoyles

    LINKS
    linkedin.com
    twitter.com
    brandyourself.com










    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.