Part 3 If you read my last two blogs, you saw the first eighteen steps to writing a detective screenplay for TV. The original list is too long for the blog. Here are the rest of the steps.
19. One of the detectives uncovers (mandatory) some obscure piece of evidence that implicates the innocent looking suspect.
20. The detectives also must discover that the innocent looking suspect is (select all that apply): a. not a nun/ priest b. a not virgin (don’t ask how) c. really a closet Republican And that (his/her) (select all that apply): a. alibi does not check out b. DNA/prints match the murder scene c. library card expired. d. driver’s license has a false date of birth and weight e. breasts are fake f. uses Botox g. all of the above.
21. The detectives go to arrest the suspect and (select all that apply): a. forget to cover the rear door b. do not have a warrant c. find the door unlocked d. discover that the suspect does not have a house alarm e. all of the above.
22. (Optional) If at night, the detective must drive up to the house/apartment with headlights and siren on.
23. The detectives enter house/apartment and immediately turn on penlights (mandatory) even though the lights work or it is daylight.
24. The suspect escapes (mandatory) by: a. climbing out the unguarded window b. driving through the garage door which is unguarded c. running up stairs to the roof which is unguarded d. running into the underground garage which is unguarded e. taking the elevator which is unguarded and which closes just before the detectives can stop it.
25. As the suspect escapes (he/she) (select one): a. nearly runs over the lead characters b. shoots and misses c. yells, “You’ll never take me alive, copper!”
26. The detectives arrest the suspect and interrogate him/her. They ask if he/she wants a lawyer. The suspect cracks under such a hard question and confesses (mandatory) to everything plus (select all that apply): a. cheating on taxes b. cheating on wife c. cheating in college d. cheating at cards. e. poor acting.
I hope that aspiring screenplay writers find this checklist useful. We can always use more unimaginative screenplays that follow a standard format. That way, if the fans miss an episode, they do not miss anything important. Good luck!
19. One of the detectives uncovers (mandatory) some obscure piece of evidence that implicates the innocent looking suspect.
20. The detectives also must discover that the innocent looking suspect is (select all that apply): a. not a nun/ priest b. a not virgin (don’t ask how) c. really a closet Republican And that (his/her) (select all that apply): a. alibi does not check out b. DNA/prints match the murder scene c. library card expired. d. driver’s license has a false date of birth and weight e. breasts are fake f. uses Botox g. all of the above.
21. The detectives go to arrest the suspect and (select all that apply): a. forget to cover the rear door b. do not have a warrant c. find the door unlocked d. discover that the suspect does not have a house alarm e. all of the above.
22. (Optional) If at night, the detective must drive up to the house/apartment with headlights and siren on.
23. The detectives enter house/apartment and immediately turn on penlights (mandatory) even though the lights work or it is daylight.
24. The suspect escapes (mandatory) by: a. climbing out the unguarded window b. driving through the garage door which is unguarded c. running up stairs to the roof which is unguarded d. running into the underground garage which is unguarded e. taking the elevator which is unguarded and which closes just before the detectives can stop it.
25. As the suspect escapes (he/she) (select one): a. nearly runs over the lead characters b. shoots and misses c. yells, “You’ll never take me alive, copper!”
26. The detectives arrest the suspect and interrogate him/her. They ask if he/she wants a lawyer. The suspect cracks under such a hard question and confesses (mandatory) to everything plus (select all that apply): a. cheating on taxes b. cheating on wife c. cheating in college d. cheating at cards. e. poor acting.
I hope that aspiring screenplay writers find this checklist useful. We can always use more unimaginative screenplays that follow a standard format. That way, if the fans miss an episode, they do not miss anything important. Good luck!
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