​I have seen several articles lately about the subtle signs you are about to be terminated. What about the obvious, not so subtle signs? Here is a list of some of the indicators that you may be the next employee terminated:
1. You show up at work and your company has moved without leaving a forwarding address.
2. You arrive at work and a SWAT team is about to break down your office door.
3. Your car is towed out of the company parking lot.
4. A new employee is sitting at your desk.
5. Your favorite food is no longer served in the company cafeteria.
6. Housekeeping drops off a bunch of cardboard boxes at your desk.
7. Your administrative assistant is sending out resumes.
8. Recruiters start calling you at home.
9. You’re not notified of an emergency meeting of a committee that you’re on.
10. Your password to the company computer doesn’t work. No one returns your calls or e-mails. People cancel appointments with you. Your telephone has been disconnected. Your key to the executive bathroom doesn’t work. (Take the hint.)
11. A new roster of employees no longer lists you. A new organization chart no longer shows your department.
12. Your friends start sending you e-mails asking if you’re okay. Other employees stop by your office to say that they will miss you.
These less than subtle signs should tell you that you are soon to be history at that company.

I recently blogged about debunking myths about the brain. I thought today I would continue in that vein and debunk the myths about butts (asses):

1. Some people have their “head up their ass.” Not true. You can try this at home. No way will your head fit up your butt or anyone else’s butt.  This is like someone who “can’t find their butt with both hands”.

2. Some things are “half assed.” Okay, this one’s true. People can live with half an ass. Of course, they must be careful not to fall into the toilet. In some cases, surgeons might remove half an ass. In normal cases, individuals have been known to lose half their ass on a diet.

3. People may say that they “lost their ass” in an investment or gambling. Not true. No one would want to accept an ass as an investment or a wager. 

4. It is possible to get an “ass chewing.” Okay, this one is true too but not the way you think. While it is possible to eat an ass, it is not recommended except in extreme circumstances. However, in the case of consenting adults in the privacy of their bedroom, some ass chewing may occur.

5. Some people are “butt heads” or “ass holes.” Not true - heads and butts are not interchangeable parts in spite of what some surgeons might say. The butt has no brain. Stupid people should correctly be called “brain dead”, clueless or thoughtless but “butt head” or “ass hole” is simply not correct. While it’s possible to “butt heads” (note the use of “butt” as a verb) with someone, that is an entirely different thing and usually ends in one of the parties being injured or fired.

6. It is possible to “kick ass” or “kick butt.” This is true. This phenomenon happens often in professional sports. It shouldn’t be taken: literally, but sometimes people do need a swift kick in the pants.

7. Some people are “ass kissers” or “brown nosers.” This one is also true but not in the way most people think. The common misperception is that it applies to a worker who kisses up to the boss. It would be rare if there was any real “ass kissing” taking place. Real “ass kissing” takes in the bedroom between consenting adults (read #4, reference “ass chewing” above). “Brown nosers” are really “ass kissers” who have gone too deep or missed the mark.

8. People may “butt-in” or “butt-out”. This should not be confused with belly buttons that are either inner or outers. Yes, some butts, in fact must, stick out and may be called “butt-outs”. The “butt-in” is very rare.

9. Someone could be the “butt of a joke”. This might even be called a “rump roast”. It is true, someone could be the butt of a joke. It might be humorous but it’s cruel, especially if the victim doesn’t realize it.

10. Might “bust your butt”. This is a thing. You might bust your butt. Thank means you have broken your coccyx, a small, bone at the bottom of the spine. It’s very painful but seldom fatal.

11. Your “butt is on the line”. This usually means you could get fired for something you have done. If you’re lucky, you’ll just get the traditional “ass chewing”. (See number 4 above.)

12. “butt floss”. Not a thing. You can’t buy butt floss. You will still have to use toilet paper.

13. You might “work your butt off” or “bust your ass” or even “work your tail off”. Not true. You can’t work your butt off. You can work hard, but your butt will still be there. In some cases, you might lose half your butt while dieting.

14. You could have a “pain in the butt” or a “pain in the ass”. This is a thing. IT is a symptom of the busted butt (Number 10 above). See your doctor right away.

15. You might be called “butt ugly”. This might be a thing. The truth is that most butts aren’t ugly. In fact, some might be called cute. Still, it’s considered an insult.
​
I hope this helps to debunk the numerous myths about butts.

​I read with interest an article about the seven most common myths about the brain. In an ASAP Science video, Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown explained why they aren't true. I’ll just summarize the article. The myths are:
 
1. A bigger brain is better (smarter). Not true.
2. Alcohol kills brain cells. Not true, thank goodness.
3. Drugs create "holes" in your brain. Not true. Again, thank goodness.
4. The brain has 100 billion cells. Not true. The brain has only 86 billion brain cells. I get light headed thinking about it.
5. People use only 10% of your brain. Not true (unless you’re a politician).
6. People are either "left-brained" or "right-brained." Not true.
7. People have only five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. Also, not true. People also have a sense of balance, temperature, time, pain and proprioception (the body awareness that helps us not walk into things all the time). Makes sense to me.

I believe that Moffit and Brown missed a few myths. As a public service, I will present them here:

1. A “No Brainer.” Not true. If someone’s a no brainer, meaning they have no brain, then they are a zombie. At least, I don’t think zombies have brains.

2. “Blow your mind” or be “mind blowing.” Again, not true. If something blows your mind, once again, you become a zombie.

3. “Mind altering” or “mind expanding.” Not true. You brain is what it is. Once you become an adult, it is fully grown. It may shrink as you grow older but won’t expand. “Mime” altering is something else entirely.

4. Eating cold ice cream will make your “brain freeze.” Not true. Opening the top of your head on a cold day will freeze your brain.

5. Your brain can get a “brain cramp” or a “brain fart”. “Not true. Muscles cramp, not brains. Brains can’t fart either. The correct term should be “senior moment’ which can occur at any age.

6. Some people have only “half a brain.” Okay, this one might be true, especially if you’re a politician. This phenomenon can be observed on the news all the time. In July, someone in Fairfax County, VA crashed a $300,000 McLaren 720S after owning for one day. Police suspect he had only half a brain.
 
7. “A penny for your thoughts.” Due to inflation, the true cost is 26.5 cents for a thought. People who work for a penny a thought are under paid. This is especially true for writers and bloggers like me.
​
8. Someone can get “inside your head” or “mess with your head.” Not true, unless you’re a surgeon. Alcohol can get into your head and mess with your head but not people. If you really want to mess with someone’s head just ask, “You’re not going to wear that, are you?”
 
9. People can be “brain dead.” This one’s true. When people are brain dead, the body soon follows, and they are declared totally dead. Once that happens they are either buried, become zombies (see #1 above), get elected to congress, get nominated for the SCOTUS, or become a candidate for President.
 
10. People can be “scatter brained.” Not true. Your brain is contained in your scull and can’t scatter. This should not be confused with having your “brains scattered” by some horrible accident.
 
I hope this helps to debunk the numerous myths about the brain.

It seems that the US has just one problem after another and crisis following crisis. All these problems cry out for solutions. Usually the solution is counter-intuitive, simple but difficult, or oblivious (the gorilla in the room). Ethics in politics seems to be a major issue. Upon closer examination, I find the solutions for ethics in politics are obvious. Here are my recommendations:

1. I am a firm believer that we should provide all elected leaders with concubines (professional mistresses). If the public would acknowledge that people in power attract people of the oppose sex and may succumb to temptation, then this solution makes sense. This would eliminate the rumors, sneaking around, the embarrassment, the excessive costs, the spending of tax payers’ money and campaign contributions, Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDA), hush money and the resignations of otherwise perfectly good politicians. These concubines would be on the payroll and paid according to the level of office. If an official does not want a concubine, he or she must take a vow of celibacy.

2. Politicians should not speak directly to reporters, voters or the public. They should wear a mask similar to Darth Vader of #StarWars. A picture of their face on the mask is optional. Their speech would have a built-in five second delay. When they talk, a panel of censers would have five seconds to intervene. Each censer would have a button like #America’sGotTalent. One censer would focus on sexist remarks and women’s issues. Another would focus on racist remarks and civil rights. The third censor would concentrate on homophobic remarks and gay rights. The forth censor would focus on stupid remarks. The last censer would be a fact checker. Checking facts takes more than five seconds, so the censer must approve all facts before the politician speaks. If the politician attempts to quote a fact not approved earlier, this censor would intervene. If any of the censors hits their button, the intended remarks are replaced with the words, “No comment.” If three censors hit their buttons, the remarks are replaced with, “I’ll get back to you on that issue.” If all five censers hit their buttons, the remarks are replaced with, “Sun Tzu says, ‘You can’t make a snake straight by pushing it through a pipe.’” Since no one knows what the hell that means, the speech will end without further questions.

3. Prior to the #Primary election, all candidates should pose nude. This will prevent future problem with selfies, etc. Voters can say, “Okay, now that we have seen you, keep it in your pants.”

4. Bribes should not be secret. A new law would state that bribes are okay but must be public. Bribes would not go to the individual but must go to his or her campaign or, if in office, to the national budget. The bribe must cover all the costs associated with the action desired at no increase in budget, taxes or cost to the people. For example, if someone wants a bridge to nowhere, the bribe must cover all the associated costs of installing and operating the bridge.

5. Prior to the Primary election, candidates must submit to a drug test by an independent lab. The oath of office should include a vow of sobriety. Once in office, officials would be subject to random drug tests twice per month. Come on! We do this in other professions. Let’s get serious.

6. Elected officials must attend rehab prior to taking the oath of office. This will prevent their absence while in office. While we are at it, this should also take sensitivity training.
​
AUTHOR’S NOTE: To the humorously challenged, this is a satire -- maybe.

I read with interest an article about a new book, Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact, by Nick Morgan. He talked about all the fake listening that people do while they act as if they are listening to you. He listed seven:
1. Their eye contact is too fixed, and their heads are too still.
2. They smile too brightly and for too long.
3. They tap their fingers.
4. They fidget.
5. Their body is turned away from you.
6 Their feet are pointed towards the door.
7. They don't mirror your body language.

This got me to thinking about other subtle ways you can tell people are not listening to you. Here are ten more:
1. They fall asleep. This is a dead giveaway.
2. They don’t notice when you stop talking.
3. You ask them a question and they just nod their heads.
4. They tell you in English that they don’t speak English.
5. They wave a crucifix and a strand of garlic at you and attempt to drive a stake into your heart.
6. They let their dog pee on your shoes.
7. They put coins into your coffee cup and walk away.
8. They hold up a lapel pin and ask you to speak into it.
9. They steal your watch and wallet.
10. They fake a heart attack so they don’t have to listen to you.

​If you notice this type of behavior, stop talking. Your audience has stopped listening to you.

​This short screenplay won third place in a contest hosted by Devil’s Party Press. I have edited it for my blog. Enjoy!
 
Detective Show Spoof
 
Typical hotel bedroom. Man and woman in bed making love. The woman is on top. Camera shots from six different angles. Close up on MARTHA ANDREWS’ face.
 
Cut to front of hotel. CHRIS ANDREWS enters, walks through lobby, takes elevator to 44th floor, walks down hallway, stops at a room, takes out a set of burglary tools and picks the lock. Opens door and walks in.
 
CHRIS: Martha?
 
MARTHA: Chris! Don’t you ever knock?
 
CHRIS: Martha! What is going on?
 
MARTHA: (jumping out of bed and pulling a sheet around herself) Don’t be stupid. You can see what is going on. Or can’t you remember?
 
CHRIS: Why, Martha? I love you. I will forgive you.
 
MARTHA: I love you too. I will always love you. I am just not in love with you.
 
CHRIS: What the hell does that mean?
 
MARTHA: I don’t know. It’s in the script. I just read the lines. I do not have to understand them.
 
CHRIS: Who is this guy?
 
MARTHA: Who? I’ll tell you who. It is a man who loves me. He loves me for who I am, not who he expects me to be. He loves me for myself. He is concerned about my emotional needs. He treats me with respect, not like some trophy wife.
 
CHRIS: No, I mean what is his name?
 
MARTHA: If you must know, his name is John.
 
BILL: Actually, my name is Bill. Bill Smith
 
CHRIS: Yeah, right.
 
MARTHA: Shut up Bill! Keep out of this. This is between my husband and me.
 
BILL: (getting out of bed) I didn’t realize you were married. Perhaps, I should go.
(starts to get dressed)
 
MARTHA: No, stay. I’ll get rid of him.
 
BILL: I have to get back to work anyway.
 
CHRIS: Why him?
 
MARTHA: (starts to get dressed) He is twice the man you are.
 
CHRIS: That’s because he must weigh 500 pounds.
 
BILL: Please! I weigh 450 pounds and not a pound more.
 
CHRIS: How could you, Martha?
 
MARTHA: Well, I have to stay on top.
 
CHRIS: No, I mean how could you do this to me? (Martha gives Chris a quizzical look.)
 
CHRIS: I am talking about our marriage. How could you do this to our marriage?
 
MARTHA: Oh. Come on! We have been married for two weeks. How long did you expect me to be faithful?
 
CHRIS: Longer than two weeks.
 
MARTHA:
You should have said something.
 
CHRIS: Do the words, forsaking all others mean anything to you?
 
MARTHA: No. Should they?
 
CHRIS: They were part of our marriage vows.
 
MARTHA: Again, if it was in the script, I don’t have to know what it means.
 
BILL: How much do I owe you?
 
MARTHA: Two hundred. Same as last week.
 
BILL: Will I see you again? (Bill hands Martha two one hundred-dollar bills.)
 
MARTHA: Of course. Next week. Same time.
 
BILL: See you next week. (They kiss. Bill exits.)
 
MARTHA: (Martha holds one of the bills up to the light.) Stop him! These bills are counterfeit!
 
Chris pulls out his gun and runs after Bill. He sees Bill get into an elevator but the doors close before he can stop it. Chris runs down 45 flights of stairs and exits in the basement. He then runs up one flight of stairs to the first floor. He searches the lobby frantically. He sees Bill outside getting into a car. He runs outside just as Martha pulls up in a corvette.
 
MARTHA: Get in! (Chris gets into the car and Martha speeds off after Bill.)
 
CHRIS: How did you get here so fast?
 
MARTHA: Special effects.
 
CHRIS: That’s a different outfit. What’s with the mini-skirt? You usually wear pantsuits.
 
MARTHA: The director wants to show off my legs.
 
CHRIS: Well, you look fantastic. How come your hair is perfect and now you have makeup on? Where did you find the time?
 
MARTHA: Look! Can we hold off on the interrogation until we catch this guy? You know damn well that we shot the hotel scene yesterday. Today is the car chase scene. Besides, my contract says I have to look good. The studio has to give me six close up headshots every episode.
 
CHRIS: Don’t lose him.
 
MARTHA: You always say that. I never lose them. Now go ahead and say the other word.
 
CHRIS: What other word?
 
MARTHA: You know damn well. Every car chase scene you say it.
 
CHRIS: Faster?
 
SERIES OF SHOT—TYPICAL CAR CHASE SCENES
 
Cars skid around corners and run other cars off the road. More police cars join the chase. Finally, Bill’s car crashes—flipping over a dozen times and exploding in flames. Bill emerges unhurt with his hands up. The police are so ticked they shoot him anyway.
 
CHRIS: (removes Bill’s wallet) Let’s see who this guy really is. (opens wallet) His driver’s license says his name is Bill Smith.
 
MARTHA: What the...? Wait a minute. (takes out the hundred dollar bills and holds them up to the light) I guess the joke on me. These bills aren’t phony after all. My bad.
 
(Chris takes out his service pistol and points it at Martha.)
 
MARTHA: What are you doing? What’s going on?
 
CHRIS: Come on Martha. You have been around long enough to know that when the studio does not renew your contract, the writers write you out of the series. You contract expires next week.
 
MARTHA: Don’t do it, Chris. If we stick together, we can both get better contracts.
 
CHRIS: Too late. I already signed my new contract. I get a bedroom scene and eight close up headshots in every episode. Goodbye, Martha. It’s been great working with you.
 
MARTHA: Wait! The studio will never find a replacement for my character by next episode.
 
CHRIS: They have already. You remember that young woman that we hired as an intern two episodes ago?
 
MARTHA: You mean that 20 something with the silicone breasts?
 
CHRIS: Uh, yeah, that one. In the next episode she is promoted to detective first class and takes your place.
 
MARTHA: No! If you shoot me, I will never work with you again. Do you know what that means?
 
CHRIS: Sorry, Darling, but it’s in the script. I don’t have to know what it means. (Chris shoots Martha three times. He walks over to her body and shoots her in the head for good measure.)
 
The End
 

I enjoy watching TV shows like Scorpion, Quantico and Agents of Shield. If you are a fan, you know when the agents go undercover they use ear buds that transmit and receive so they can communicate. Everyone knows that. So why is it that the mega-corporate outfits that are behind all the evil in the world never bother to check in their ears when they do a pat down? Surely, at least one employee has a TV and watches the shows.   
 
I would like to see one scene that follows the script below:    

KEN ENTERS. Ken: is a super undercover agent. Security stops him at the entrance of a meg-corporation (the one behind all evil in the world) after passing through the scanner.    
TINY sits at a desk in front of ken. She is a female ex-wrestler now working security.  
TINY: Sir, you just made my day.    
KEN: What seems to be the problem?    
TINY: Well, sir, our scanner indicated that you have a few items that you will have to leave here. You can pick them up when you leave the facility.    
KEN: Like what?
TINY: (chuckles) Let’s start with the pistol in your waistband.    
KEN: I have a permit to carry a concealed weapon. I have a constitutional right to bear arms.    
TINY: True. However, we have the right to keep you out of this private property if you have a weapon. Surrender the piece or leave.    
KEN: (removes pistol and places it on the desk) Okay. I forgot I even had it.   
TINY: The other one too.   
KEN: What other one?   
TINY: The one strapped to your right calf.    
KEN: (Removes second pistol) Now I feel naked.    
TINY: I wish. We don’t allow cellphone either. Leave your cellphone.     
Ken takes out his cellphone and places it on the desk.     
TINY: Now the other one.    
KEN: What other one?    
TINY: The one strapped to your left calf.    
Ken removes the second cellphone.     
TINY: Our scanner indicates that you have ear buds.    
KEN: No. No. That must be a false reading. I have nothing in my ears.    
TINY: If you insist. (yells) Max!    
ENTER MAXIMO, a former sumo wrestler now working security. He holds a large hand-held magnet to the side of Ken’s head. A small ear communication device pops out. He does the same to Ken’s other ear and another device pops out.    
KEN: Oh. You mean those?    
TINY: (giggling) Our scanner indicated that you have another device in your colon. Please remove that device too.    
KEN: Now that’s too much. That has to be a mistake.    
TINY: Okay, play it your way. Max!    
Maximo starts toward ken with the magnet.     
KEN: Oh, you know what? I think I am in the wrong place. I should be in the next building. I will just leave. Sorry for any inconvenience. Bye.    
TINY: God, I love this job.

​THE END

This year I turned 72. I wasn’t looking forward to it. I’m already having memory issues. I’m trying to deal with them. Remembering things becomes a challenge as we get older -- I understand that. My memory was never very good anyway.

​Many, many years ago my wife gave me a birthday card. I thought it was funny, so I laughed. She said that she couldn’t do it anymore; she had given me that same card ten years in a row. I told my family to raise a finger for each time they heard a joke was about to repeat. Many times they raised both hands and flashed ten fingers at me. The other day I told a joke and screwed up the punch line -- a rare thing for me.

In my experience, there seems to be three types of memory lost: the first is a total loss of memory of names, events or scheduled events; the second is a mixed match of memories (not remembering correctly or mixing two separate events together); and finally, false memories (remembering things that never happened – duh).

To help myself remember (total loss) or remind myself of future events, I post notes to remind myself, mark up my calendar and use visual aids. I put them on my computer, refrigerator, and kitchen counters. I even put outgoing mail near the door where I’ll see it as I leave the house. I do struggle with names but, then, I always did. I often run into a person I haven’t seen for a while and can’t remember their name. I have on a couple of occasions, let the dog out and forgot to let her back in. She growled at me for two days. I don’t mind so much forgetting some events; somethings are better off forgotten.

Sometimes I would relate antidotes about friends only to be corrected and told I had the wrong person in the story or got the facts wrong. Now when I tell a story, I just say it happened to someone I knew. Years ago, I told one humorous story to so many people that when I ran into the subject of the story and was told it wasn’t him but was someone else, I asked him not to tell anyone.

What I really hate is remembering things that never happened. For example, I was trying to remember if I took my morning meds and decided that I did. Later, I discovered that I hadn’t taken: them. I was remembering something that never happened. Sometimes my wife will ask if I saw a particular TV show or movie and I’ll say I did only to discover later that I hadn’t seen it at all – a false memory.

As we grow older, our memories are often the best things we have. I hate losing them. They say the memory is the second thing to go as you get old. I forgot what the first thing was. I thought I’d better write this article before I forgetaboutit.
​

It’s that time of the year when I post this short story, one of my favorites.
 
Good Neighbors 
 
Weeks of obsessive tending and gentle turning ensured a blue ribbon for his biggest pumpkin next weekend. His chest puffed with impending pride as he fantasized about the envious stares of the other town folk, including that attractive, stuck-up woman next door, who always looked through him, not at him.

An easterly wind was starting as he watched the sky darken. The wind felt cool against his skin compared to the moist warm weather that soaked him in sweat earlier as he hoed around his pumpkin. As bright, painted leaves rained on his crop, he heard an infant's cry and turned his head toward the top of the hill. Under the old maple, his stuck-up neighbor was shielding a bundle from the wind, fumbling with her blouse. Probably trying to breast-feed the baby, he thought. He felt a little sorry for her; a single mother with an infant. He tried to be a good neighbor, but her stuck up attitude kept him at a distance. Maybe she did not trust men any more. He paid her no mind. He was single too and had his own problems.

He wondered what she was doing at the top of the hill, but then recalled seeing her walking the narrow path to her girlfriend’s house about half a mile beyond his own house. His hat was torn from his head as the wind grew stronger. He looked at the distant clouds moving at a great speed toward him. The horizon was a solid wall of clouds that gave a greenish tint to the sky. He had seen enough to recognize the signs – tornado!

Looking back at the maple tree, he could see the mother had knelt by the base to shelter her baby. Realizing that a tornado could tear the old tree apart in seconds, he shouted to warn her, but his voice was drowned out in the strong wind. He ran to the top of the hill as fast as he could. When he reached her, he shouted, “You can’t stay here. Too dangerous!” Half pulling, half jerking, he got her up with the baby.

“Where?” she yelled. The noise was as loud as the 7:20 freight train that passed through town every night without stopping.

He looked back at his house; too far! He looked at her house; even farther! He yelled back at her, “Come with me.” He cradled the baby in one arm, and then led her by the other. If they could make to his pumpkin patch, and lie down behind his prize pumpkin, they just might have enough protection. Placing the baby as close to the pumpkin as possible, he had the mother shield it with her body as he covered her body with his.

The wind grew stronger and louder then it grew quiet again. Peering over the top of the pumpkin, he saw the tornado rise into the clouds and pass overhead without doing any damage. They had been spared along with their houses. He looked over at his crop fields to see how much damage was done to the corn and saw a wall of hail the size of golf balls cutting through the corn as clean as a sickle, destroying everything in its path.

The hail would reach them in seconds. He realized that they would be injured in their exposed position. Without a word, he pulled the woman to her feet and placed the baby in her arms. He was frantic. Picking up his hoe, he swung at his prize pumpkin. After two or three tries, the shell split open. He dropped the hoe and used his hands to scoop out the insides. The woman realized what he was doing and began helping. When the pumpkin was half-empty she placed the baby inside the pumpkin. He helped her get inside as much as possible with the baby, covering them with the pumpkin rinds. Her legs were exposed, so he laid down on them, and spread his hands over her thighs to cover as much of her as possible.

Hail began to pelt them just as he was finishing. At first, a few struck him, but they hurt like hell. Then they came down by the hundreds. He tried not to yell as they hit him across his back, legs, and head. He knew he was going to be black and blue in the morning. After a couple of minutes, it was over. Mother and baby crawled out of the pumpkin covered in juice and seeds. He hurt in so many places that he did not know which spots to rub first.

She looked at the ice from the hail in his hair and clothes and brushed it out. He began to pick off pumpkin seeds from the baby’s face and from her hair. She smiled and they both began to laugh. She wiped her face with her sleeve, and then his face, kissing his cheek after she wiped it. “You saved us,” she said. “Thank you.”

They both looked down at the shattered pumpkin.

“Was that your pumpkin that you were going to enter into the fair?”

“Yeah! Well, I can grow another one next year. But it could have been worst. We could have been killed. A prize pumpkin is no big loss.”

“Well, you are very brave. It was quick thinking on your part. You are my hero. Are you hurt?”
“I don’t know. Are heroes supposed to feel like a punching bag?”

“I guess so. Sometimes. As you said, it could have been worst. I’ll tell you what; I need to take the baby home and clean her up. Why don’t you save some of this pumpkin, and come over to the house later? I will make some pumpkin pies. I may have a salve for those bruises too.”
​
“Okay,” he answered. This may be the start of a new good neighbor policy, he thought.
 
THE END