I was able to obtain from a confidential source a copy of the “intense therapy” that Rob Ford may undertake. The program known as Bogus and Unauthentic Legalized Larceny and Spurious Hypocritical Intense Therapy (BULL SH*T) is used through the USA to help politicians keep their elected position. Below is a copy of the sessions. This intense therapy is for one week.
Join in a mixer for all attendees Sunday night at 7 PM until ? Meet the instructors and fellow politicians who have fallen from grace. Open bar and free marijuana tasting (not yet available in all states).
How to Hold a Press Conference. Learn how to deny charges without using the telltale signs for lying. Learn how to say “intense therapy” with a straight face. Learn how to pronounce new words like “paparazzi”. Panel discussion with panelists Bob Filner, Anthony Weiner, Eliot Spitzer, Alex Baldwin and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Alcoholism 101. Learn the signs of alcoholism and how to hide them. Learn how to avoid being videotaped while smoking cocaine and being totally blasted. Learn how to pat down people for hidden cameras and microphones while hugging them.
Recreational Drugs for the Whole Family. Learn the proper way to use a bong.
Stings are my Favorite Things. Learn to identify a sting operation. Learn the best hiding places for your drugs. Learn how to avoid a body cavity search.
Yes, You Can Be Re-elected. Instructor - Mark Sanford, re-elected Congressman for South Carolina. Closing Ceremony: Graduation ceremony for those who have not dropped out of the program, been removed from office or arrested.