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Rules for college drinking parties

3/11/2014

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PictureCollege Drinking
In the past, I have posted rules for robbers and other criminals because they make such stupid mistakes. Now it appears that even college students could use some guidelines to avoid arrest. A story in the news today reports that police charged two students at a New York state college for abusing a dog by getting it drunk. The evidence against them was a tweet about the party that included pictures of the two men holding the dog upside down over a keg and forcing it to drink beer. The police charged the two men with torturing and injuring an animal. They didn't charge these two underage drinkers underage drinking. Police rescued the dog. The dog declined to press charges. It said it could not remember what happened. There is no truth to the rumor that the dog is now in rehab.     

 I am sure that the two students were trying to follow the Golden Rule, “Do unto others...”, when they held the dog over a beer keg and got it drunk. However, the SPCA takes a dim view on this behavior. You can do it to people but not to animals. I know that New York states schools aren't known for the best and the brightest students, but this act goes beyond stupid. Obviously, these students need some help in running drinking parties. I have drafted some rules to help them:    

1. Collect all cellphones, cameras and any recording devices at the door.     

2. Have all attendees sign a non-disclosure form that includes tweeting and posting any mention of a party on the internet.    

3. Absolutely no animals! Well, maybe that snake that exotic dancer wears and nothing else.     

4. All animals must be 21 years old to drink. That includes college students.      

5. It is considered rude to hold people or animals upside down over a beer keg. The proper way to do this is to hold the beer keg over the student.    

6. Don’t put state college students in charge of the beer keg. Look for a private college student.     

7. All attendees should have current rabies shots.    

8. Don’t advertise on social media; use word of mouth.    

9. Don’t invite police, college faculty or the SPCA.    

10. Just in case, have a designated pet handler to stay sober and to protect the pets.


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    Monte is the author of several  e-books on Amazon and smashwords.com


    Buy Monte's e-books:
    The Throuple Private Eye--Business is Booming.
    ​​The Throuple Private Eye--Hate Crimes
    ​
    A Head for Murder
    The Register cliff Rapist
    The Clone Murders,
    Archimedes of Syracuse: Leonardo da Vinci's Mentor,
    Leadership for New Managers: Book Two

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    Angels and Gargoyles

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