September 01st, 2017

I read with interest, “Never, Ever Take a Bath in a Hotel Tub—and 5 Other Vacation Don’ts” by Susannah Bradley in Reader’s Digest. She mentioned:
·         Don't walk barefoot through airport security.
·         Don’t take baths in the hotel hot tub.
·         Think before you eat.
·         Keep the air vent above your plane seat open.
·         An ounce of prevention.
·         Know your risk.
I think she missed a few. As a public service, I’ll list them here:
1.      Don’t call the hotel front desk to ask for drugs or prostitutes.
2.      Don’t shoot off the hotel balcony.
3.      Don’t say the “B” word while going through security.
4.      Don’t say “Hi” to your friend Jack on the plane.
5.      Don’t barbeque in your hotel room or while on a plane.
6.      Don’t try to share your meth with the pilot or taxis drivers.
7.      Don’t try to bribe the TSA workers.
8.      Don’t make fun of the voodoo witch doctor.
9.      Don’t ask for a longer bungee cord when bungee jumping.
10.  When in a foreign country or in Chicago, don’t flash a wad of cash.
11.  Don’t remove coins from a fountain in Italy.
12.  Don’t pull out a toy gun at the Wailing Wall in Israel.
13.  Don’t try to climb the Eiffel Tower.
14.  Don’t try to straight up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
15.  Don’t ask the Pope, “How’re they hanging?”
16.  Don’t ask the Queen of England if she shops at Walmart.
17.  Don’t ask the Pope if he stole his robe from the hotel.
18.  Don’t take your service dog sky diving.
19.  Don’t try to order a hot dog in Frankfurt or a burger in Hamburg.
20.  Don’t order a Danish in Denmark.
I’m sure there are others, but this list will start you on your vacation.
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