“It’s really simple; I just point the pistol at your head and pull the trigger.”
“I mean,” Shirley continued.
“how could you leave your daughter? She’s just a child.”
“Are you serious?”
“Shirley,” Shirley corrected her.
“You’ve met her. She’s a miniature bitch. She’s a demon from hell sent to torment me. My husband can deal with her. I’m through.”
“So you and Hugh are flying to Haiti to live off the ransom money?” Dick asked.
“That’s the plan. As soon as he starts the engines, I’m going to kill you two. Do you have any last words, a goodbye kiss maybe?”
Dick turned toward Shirley. “I do. Shirley, honey, I lied; I did sleep with that blonde in vice. I’m sorry.”
“I knew it!” Shirley yelled. “I knew those weren’t your panties. Those were hers, weren’t they?”
“No, honest, they’re mine. Men’s underwear is just too hot for my jewels. Panties are much more comfortable.”
Shirley turned away from Dick as far as the handcuffs would allow. Mary asked, “What about you sugar-cakes, any last words for lover boy?”
“I’m not talking to him,” Shirley answered.
Mary laughed. “So that’s it? Your dying words are, ‘I’m not talking to him.’ You two are pathetic.”
Dick said, “You won’t get away with it. The authorities will arrest you when you land in Haiti and confiscate the money. You’ll never spend a dime.”
Mary shook her head.” Wrong, lover boy. As soon as the plane touches down, I’ll kill Hugh and tell the police he kidnapped me, and I killed him in self-defense. They’ll have to give me the money, since it belongs to my husband and me. I just won’t return home.”
Shirley said, “Sounds like the perfect crime, but you made one small mistake.”
Mary raised her eyebrows. “He’s standing behind me, isn’t he?” Mary turned to see Hugh standing behind her with a pistol pointed at her.
Hugh laughed. “You better believe I am.” Mary raised her pistol, pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. “Click,” the hammer echoed on an empty chamber. “Looking for these?” Hugh pulled several bullets from his pocket. “I thought you might pull something like this, so I removed the bullets.” Shirley looked at Dick who shrugged his shoulders. Before Mary could say another word, Hugh struck her across the face with his pistol. She collapsed down on the floor next to Dick and Shirley, her split lips bleeding. “A slight change in plans. I’ll be landing alone.”
Shirley sat up and said, “Hugh, don’t do this. You didn’t hurt Kaitlin. Just let us go and fly away with the money.”
Hugh laughed. “Yeah, right. You’ll notify the police in Haiti and they’ll arrest me once my plane touches down. I have just one small detail to take of before I kill you.” He held his hand toward Dick. “The remote, please.”
Dick removed the remote from his pocket and handed it to Hugh. He raised it, pointed it toward the overhead door and pushed the button. A large boom shook the hanger. The remote had exploded in his hand, blowing off his thumb and two fingers. Hugh dropped his gun and dropped to the floor holding his bleeding left hand – blood squirting everywhere.
Immediately, Mary leaped on Hugh. Dick and Shirley jumped up and rushed toward their pistols – both forgetting about the handcuffs. The cuffs slowed them down. “This way!” Dick yelled. “I need to get my gun.”
Shirley yelled back, “Mine is closer!”
Dick changed directions so Shirley could reach her gun. Then she followed him to retrieve his gun. Dick found the keys to the cuffs and unlocked them. They both looked up to see Mary standing behind Hugh. She had managed to get him on his feet and now had her left forearm around his neck and held his pistol to his head in her right hand.
“Drop your weapons or I’ll kill him,” Mary demanded.
Dick and Shirley looked at each other and then back at Mary. “Here’s the deal,” Dick started to explain. “We don’t really know this guy. We’re not related to him. We don’t care if you shoot him.”
Mary shouted back, “You’re supposed to protect the public!”
Shirley laughed. “He’s a drug smuggler. Killing him would be a public service. Go ahead and kill him and we’ll kill you. No one’ll know. Pure and simple. We’re not dropping our guns.”
“This is bullshit,” Dick said. Then he shot Hugh in the leg. Mary couldn’t hold Hugh’s weight as he slipped to the floor screaming.
“You shot me, you jerk!” Hugh screamed.
“Now drop your gun or I’ll shoot you,” Shirley said.
“Shit! You win,” Mary said as she let the pistol drop to the floor. When the weapon hit the floor, it discharged striking her in the foot.
Dick and Shirley both laughed. “Karma’s a bitch,” Shirley said with a grin.
A voice boomed from the PA system in the hanger, “Hey, guys. Can you hear me. It’s me, Ralph.”
Both Dick and Shirley answered, “Yeah, we hear you.” They began looking around.
Ralph said, “Over here. In the corner –the security camera. I hacked into the security system of the airport. I’ve been watching the whole time.”
Dick and Shirley looked toward the camera high in the corner. Dick asked, “Did you cause that explosion?”
“Yeah, that was me. I took the liberty of installing an explosive device inside the remote in case Hugh got his hands on it. Once you handed it to him, I detonated it remotely. Neat, huh? Back up should be there in three minutes along with an ambulance. The airport security is coming through the front door now. See you back here at headquarters.”
Dick and Shirley turned to see airport security driving up to Hugh’s plane and surrounded it. A shout caused them to turn and see Tim running towards them leading a SWAT team. He arrived out of breath. “Great job, Richard and Shirley.”
Dick whispered to Shirley, “Did he just remember our right names?”
Shirley nodded her head. “He must have seen the security tapes.”
“By the way,” Tim said. “I had Ralph check Bill Smyth’s financial records, credit card transactions, tax records, e-mails and telephone logs. He did call his accountant, but he called him a week before the kidnapping. Apparently, the Smyths planned this whole thing. They’re con artists. They planned to kill Hugh Watt and live in Haiti on the five million. Turns out, it wasn’t his money after all; it came from a hedge fund he managed. He’s already in custody and confessed. You two go ahead and get cleaned up. We’ll finish up here. I’ll see you back at headquarters.”
As they left the hanger, Shirley whispered, “Why did you shoot Hugh? What were you thinking?”
“Actually, I was trying to shoot Mary. You know I’m a poor shot.” As they hiked back to their car, Dick said, “You know, back there, what I said; I was just stalling. You know that, right?”
Shirley didn’t look at him or break her stride. “So it wasn’t true? Is that what you’re saying?”
Dick cleared his throat, “Yes and no.” Now Shirley stopped in her tracks. Dick continued, “I did sleep with her, but I never cheated on you. It was before you and I started dating. I love you.”
Shirley said, “Now don’t get all mushy on me.” She leaned in and kissed Dick. “By the way, I had Jones find those security tapes and erase us from them.”
“So… he watched them?”
Shirley laughed. “I guess he had too, but he made a copy for me and destroyed all the rest.” She held up a thumb drive. “I thought we could watch it when we get home.”
Dick smiled. “Great! I’ll make popcorn.”
THE END
“I mean,” Shirley continued.
“how could you leave your daughter? She’s just a child.”
“Are you serious?”
“Shirley,” Shirley corrected her.
“You’ve met her. She’s a miniature bitch. She’s a demon from hell sent to torment me. My husband can deal with her. I’m through.”
“So you and Hugh are flying to Haiti to live off the ransom money?” Dick asked.
“That’s the plan. As soon as he starts the engines, I’m going to kill you two. Do you have any last words, a goodbye kiss maybe?”
Dick turned toward Shirley. “I do. Shirley, honey, I lied; I did sleep with that blonde in vice. I’m sorry.”
“I knew it!” Shirley yelled. “I knew those weren’t your panties. Those were hers, weren’t they?”
“No, honest, they’re mine. Men’s underwear is just too hot for my jewels. Panties are much more comfortable.”
Shirley turned away from Dick as far as the handcuffs would allow. Mary asked, “What about you sugar-cakes, any last words for lover boy?”
“I’m not talking to him,” Shirley answered.
Mary laughed. “So that’s it? Your dying words are, ‘I’m not talking to him.’ You two are pathetic.”
Dick said, “You won’t get away with it. The authorities will arrest you when you land in Haiti and confiscate the money. You’ll never spend a dime.”
Mary shook her head.” Wrong, lover boy. As soon as the plane touches down, I’ll kill Hugh and tell the police he kidnapped me, and I killed him in self-defense. They’ll have to give me the money, since it belongs to my husband and me. I just won’t return home.”
Shirley said, “Sounds like the perfect crime, but you made one small mistake.”
Mary raised her eyebrows. “He’s standing behind me, isn’t he?” Mary turned to see Hugh standing behind her with a pistol pointed at her.
Hugh laughed. “You better believe I am.” Mary raised her pistol, pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. “Click,” the hammer echoed on an empty chamber. “Looking for these?” Hugh pulled several bullets from his pocket. “I thought you might pull something like this, so I removed the bullets.” Shirley looked at Dick who shrugged his shoulders. Before Mary could say another word, Hugh struck her across the face with his pistol. She collapsed down on the floor next to Dick and Shirley, her split lips bleeding. “A slight change in plans. I’ll be landing alone.”
Shirley sat up and said, “Hugh, don’t do this. You didn’t hurt Kaitlin. Just let us go and fly away with the money.”
Hugh laughed. “Yeah, right. You’ll notify the police in Haiti and they’ll arrest me once my plane touches down. I have just one small detail to take of before I kill you.” He held his hand toward Dick. “The remote, please.”
Dick removed the remote from his pocket and handed it to Hugh. He raised it, pointed it toward the overhead door and pushed the button. A large boom shook the hanger. The remote had exploded in his hand, blowing off his thumb and two fingers. Hugh dropped his gun and dropped to the floor holding his bleeding left hand – blood squirting everywhere.
Immediately, Mary leaped on Hugh. Dick and Shirley jumped up and rushed toward their pistols – both forgetting about the handcuffs. The cuffs slowed them down. “This way!” Dick yelled. “I need to get my gun.”
Shirley yelled back, “Mine is closer!”
Dick changed directions so Shirley could reach her gun. Then she followed him to retrieve his gun. Dick found the keys to the cuffs and unlocked them. They both looked up to see Mary standing behind Hugh. She had managed to get him on his feet and now had her left forearm around his neck and held his pistol to his head in her right hand.
“Drop your weapons or I’ll kill him,” Mary demanded.
Dick and Shirley looked at each other and then back at Mary. “Here’s the deal,” Dick started to explain. “We don’t really know this guy. We’re not related to him. We don’t care if you shoot him.”
Mary shouted back, “You’re supposed to protect the public!”
Shirley laughed. “He’s a drug smuggler. Killing him would be a public service. Go ahead and kill him and we’ll kill you. No one’ll know. Pure and simple. We’re not dropping our guns.”
“This is bullshit,” Dick said. Then he shot Hugh in the leg. Mary couldn’t hold Hugh’s weight as he slipped to the floor screaming.
“You shot me, you jerk!” Hugh screamed.
“Now drop your gun or I’ll shoot you,” Shirley said.
“Shit! You win,” Mary said as she let the pistol drop to the floor. When the weapon hit the floor, it discharged striking her in the foot.
Dick and Shirley both laughed. “Karma’s a bitch,” Shirley said with a grin.
A voice boomed from the PA system in the hanger, “Hey, guys. Can you hear me. It’s me, Ralph.”
Both Dick and Shirley answered, “Yeah, we hear you.” They began looking around.
Ralph said, “Over here. In the corner –the security camera. I hacked into the security system of the airport. I’ve been watching the whole time.”
Dick and Shirley looked toward the camera high in the corner. Dick asked, “Did you cause that explosion?”
“Yeah, that was me. I took the liberty of installing an explosive device inside the remote in case Hugh got his hands on it. Once you handed it to him, I detonated it remotely. Neat, huh? Back up should be there in three minutes along with an ambulance. The airport security is coming through the front door now. See you back here at headquarters.”
Dick and Shirley turned to see airport security driving up to Hugh’s plane and surrounded it. A shout caused them to turn and see Tim running towards them leading a SWAT team. He arrived out of breath. “Great job, Richard and Shirley.”
Dick whispered to Shirley, “Did he just remember our right names?”
Shirley nodded her head. “He must have seen the security tapes.”
“By the way,” Tim said. “I had Ralph check Bill Smyth’s financial records, credit card transactions, tax records, e-mails and telephone logs. He did call his accountant, but he called him a week before the kidnapping. Apparently, the Smyths planned this whole thing. They’re con artists. They planned to kill Hugh Watt and live in Haiti on the five million. Turns out, it wasn’t his money after all; it came from a hedge fund he managed. He’s already in custody and confessed. You two go ahead and get cleaned up. We’ll finish up here. I’ll see you back at headquarters.”
As they left the hanger, Shirley whispered, “Why did you shoot Hugh? What were you thinking?”
“Actually, I was trying to shoot Mary. You know I’m a poor shot.” As they hiked back to their car, Dick said, “You know, back there, what I said; I was just stalling. You know that, right?”
Shirley didn’t look at him or break her stride. “So it wasn’t true? Is that what you’re saying?”
Dick cleared his throat, “Yes and no.” Now Shirley stopped in her tracks. Dick continued, “I did sleep with her, but I never cheated on you. It was before you and I started dating. I love you.”
Shirley said, “Now don’t get all mushy on me.” She leaned in and kissed Dick. “By the way, I had Jones find those security tapes and erase us from them.”
“So… he watched them?”
Shirley laughed. “I guess he had too, but he made a copy for me and destroyed all the rest.” She held up a thumb drive. “I thought we could watch it when we get home.”
Dick smiled. “Great! I’ll make popcorn.”
THE END
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