Chris Andrew knocked on the side of the door to Monte Office. Monte called it his office, but it was more of a space in a corner of the kitchen where he could write in semi-private. Chris stuck his head in.
“You wanted to see me, boss?”
Chris was Monte’s stand-by character, never the protagonist or antagonist but a well-developed character in his own right. He was like an old friend that Monte always enjoyed having around. Monte had written him into many of his short stories and even a few of his novels.
“Come in, Chris and pull up a chair.” Monte waited for Chris to get settled. “I want to talk to you about my crime fiction manuscript.” Monte paused to collect his thoughts—carefully selecting his words. “I’ve decided to kill you off.”
Chris’ jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. “What? Why? I thought I was a good character.”
Monte leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. “It’s not personal, Chris. This isn’t easy for me, but it was always in the plot. The time has come for you to die. Don’t get me wrong, I like you, but this time you need to go. I’ll put you in another story later.”
Chris threw hands up in the air. “But why, Monte? Haven’t I been a good character?”
“You’re the best, Chris, but the plot of the story has you being killed.”
“Please, boss. I like this story. I’m the sidekick of the protagonist. I’m his wingman. Everyone likes me. You even wrote me some funny lines.”
Monte shook his head. “That’s why it has to be you. It will be more of a tragedy because you are so popular. Everyone will greave—maybe even the reader. The protagonist will be heart broken.”
“Can’t you kill off what’s her name? You know, the best friend of the hero’s girlfriend?”
“You mean Linda? No, I thought of that, but it doesn’t work. She’ll comfort the protagonist in his grief. That will set up tension between the two women in my novel. It makes the story better. It has to be you.”
“But you didn’t give me any warning. This is out of the blue. Shouldn’t you write in a premonition or a forewarning?”
“It’s a surprise plot twist, Chris. I think once you see it, you’ll like it.”
Chris sat back down and hung his head. Monte stood up and placed his hand on Chris’ shoulder. Chris looked up at Monte’s face with tears in his eye. “You promise me you’ll put me in the next novel?"
“I promise.”
Chris stood up and looked into Monte’s eyes. “Will it hurt? You know I can’t stand pain.”
Monte Laughed. “Chris, you’re a fictional character. You can’t feel pain.”
Chris shook his head. “You know what I mean.”
Monte sighed. “Okay. No, you won’t feel anything. I’m thinking you’ll die instantly; a gun shoot wound to the head or heart.”
“What will I be wearing?”
“Come on, Chris. This is getting to be ridiculous.”
“Humor me a little, boss. Last novel you wrote, I was wounded and bleed all over my new suit. It was a mess. Don’t make me wear a suit.”
“Okay, okay. How about I kill you off in your underwear? Is that satisfactory? Now stop this nonsense and get out of here. I have a novel to write.”
“Right, boss. You got it. It’ll be a best seller, I know it. My death won’t be in vain. Thank you, thank you.”
The End
“You wanted to see me, boss?”
Chris was Monte’s stand-by character, never the protagonist or antagonist but a well-developed character in his own right. He was like an old friend that Monte always enjoyed having around. Monte had written him into many of his short stories and even a few of his novels.
“Come in, Chris and pull up a chair.” Monte waited for Chris to get settled. “I want to talk to you about my crime fiction manuscript.” Monte paused to collect his thoughts—carefully selecting his words. “I’ve decided to kill you off.”
Chris’ jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. “What? Why? I thought I was a good character.”
Monte leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. “It’s not personal, Chris. This isn’t easy for me, but it was always in the plot. The time has come for you to die. Don’t get me wrong, I like you, but this time you need to go. I’ll put you in another story later.”
Chris threw hands up in the air. “But why, Monte? Haven’t I been a good character?”
“You’re the best, Chris, but the plot of the story has you being killed.”
“Please, boss. I like this story. I’m the sidekick of the protagonist. I’m his wingman. Everyone likes me. You even wrote me some funny lines.”
Monte shook his head. “That’s why it has to be you. It will be more of a tragedy because you are so popular. Everyone will greave—maybe even the reader. The protagonist will be heart broken.”
“Can’t you kill off what’s her name? You know, the best friend of the hero’s girlfriend?”
“You mean Linda? No, I thought of that, but it doesn’t work. She’ll comfort the protagonist in his grief. That will set up tension between the two women in my novel. It makes the story better. It has to be you.”
“But you didn’t give me any warning. This is out of the blue. Shouldn’t you write in a premonition or a forewarning?”
“It’s a surprise plot twist, Chris. I think once you see it, you’ll like it.”
Chris sat back down and hung his head. Monte stood up and placed his hand on Chris’ shoulder. Chris looked up at Monte’s face with tears in his eye. “You promise me you’ll put me in the next novel?"
“I promise.”
Chris stood up and looked into Monte’s eyes. “Will it hurt? You know I can’t stand pain.”
Monte Laughed. “Chris, you’re a fictional character. You can’t feel pain.”
Chris shook his head. “You know what I mean.”
Monte sighed. “Okay. No, you won’t feel anything. I’m thinking you’ll die instantly; a gun shoot wound to the head or heart.”
“What will I be wearing?”
“Come on, Chris. This is getting to be ridiculous.”
“Humor me a little, boss. Last novel you wrote, I was wounded and bleed all over my new suit. It was a mess. Don’t make me wear a suit.”
“Okay, okay. How about I kill you off in your underwear? Is that satisfactory? Now stop this nonsense and get out of here. I have a novel to write.”
“Right, boss. You got it. It’ll be a best seller, I know it. My death won’t be in vain. Thank you, thank you.”
The End
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