Here’s more of my soon to be published exposé that’ll blow the lid off the code of silence (bro code) of the brotherhood of men. I can no longer abide with the cover up and fraud that men have perpetuated upon women. At the risk of losing my subscription to Esquire Magazine, I’ll debunk the myths and misconceptions of the mystique of manhood. I’m sure I’ll receive hate mail and threats from my fellow males for violating the bro code. Sorry guys, but the time has come. Our women have spoken. Here’s a preview:
Myth Number 11: All men like sports because they are competitive.
The Truth: Not true. The only sports men like are baseball, football, golf, boxing, mixed martial arts, and women’s beach volleyball. Men aren’t competitive as long as we’re winning.
Myth Number 12: Men cannot have women friends.
The Truth; Not true—some of my best friends are women, like… I can’t remember their names at the moment, but we are close.
Myth Number 13: Men don’t listen to women.
The Truth: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
Myth Number 14: Men don’t like to hold a woman’s purse.
The Truth: Okay, this might be true. We’ll hold a purse if it has a long strap.
Myth Number 15: Men don’t have close friends the way women do.
The Truth: This is another popular myth perpetuated by men. All men have a secret Facebook page. On that page, they have many friends including ex-girlfriends/wives, your sisters, and that good-looking divorcee next door. They also have secret Twitter, Linkedin and Pinterest accounts.
Myth Number 16: Men like dogs better than cats.
The Truth: It’s not that men like dogs better than cats – they don’t. It’s just that men get excited and confused when women ask men if they would like a little “pussy.” The conversation never ends well. It is easier to talk about dogs, although they can be bitches too.
Myth Number 17: Men don’t listen when women are talking.
The Truth: I’m sorry. What were you saying?
Myth Number 18: Men aren’t sincere when they say they are sorry, and it won’t happen again.
The Truth: Okay, there’s a nugget of truth in this myth. Let’s face it - men are stubborn. The truth is that by the time men finally get around to saying they’re sorry, they’ve forgotten what they’re sorry about, so they just say the words.
Myth Number 19: Men will cheat if given the opportunity.
The Truth: Okay, this is basically true. However, women must share part of the blame. If there were no women to cheat with, men would not cheat.
Myth Number 20: Men don’t cry.
The Truth: Absolutely false. Men do cry; for example, when our favorite sports team loses, or our Alma Mater loses, or the best player on one of our teams gets traded. Men just don’t cry in public or in front of women.
I hope this helps you women who are trying to understand men. My expose may be published soon.
Myth Number 11: All men like sports because they are competitive.
The Truth: Not true. The only sports men like are baseball, football, golf, boxing, mixed martial arts, and women’s beach volleyball. Men aren’t competitive as long as we’re winning.
Myth Number 12: Men cannot have women friends.
The Truth; Not true—some of my best friends are women, like… I can’t remember their names at the moment, but we are close.
Myth Number 13: Men don’t listen to women.
The Truth: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
Myth Number 14: Men don’t like to hold a woman’s purse.
The Truth: Okay, this might be true. We’ll hold a purse if it has a long strap.
Myth Number 15: Men don’t have close friends the way women do.
The Truth: This is another popular myth perpetuated by men. All men have a secret Facebook page. On that page, they have many friends including ex-girlfriends/wives, your sisters, and that good-looking divorcee next door. They also have secret Twitter, Linkedin and Pinterest accounts.
Myth Number 16: Men like dogs better than cats.
The Truth: It’s not that men like dogs better than cats – they don’t. It’s just that men get excited and confused when women ask men if they would like a little “pussy.” The conversation never ends well. It is easier to talk about dogs, although they can be bitches too.
Myth Number 17: Men don’t listen when women are talking.
The Truth: I’m sorry. What were you saying?
Myth Number 18: Men aren’t sincere when they say they are sorry, and it won’t happen again.
The Truth: Okay, there’s a nugget of truth in this myth. Let’s face it - men are stubborn. The truth is that by the time men finally get around to saying they’re sorry, they’ve forgotten what they’re sorry about, so they just say the words.
Myth Number 19: Men will cheat if given the opportunity.
The Truth: Okay, this is basically true. However, women must share part of the blame. If there were no women to cheat with, men would not cheat.
Myth Number 20: Men don’t cry.
The Truth: Absolutely false. Men do cry; for example, when our favorite sports team loses, or our Alma Mater loses, or the best player on one of our teams gets traded. Men just don’t cry in public or in front of women.
I hope this helps you women who are trying to understand men. My expose may be published soon.
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