I read with interest the article by the editors of The Active Times, “These Are the 10 Most Vile Things You Can Do on a Plane. They mentioned things like putting your feet in other people’s way, bringing stinky food on the plane, leaving chewing gum on the seat belt, too much PDA, talking too loud, grooming yourself (like trimming toenails), leaving your trash everywhere, removing your shirt, walking around barefoot, getting too drunk and hanging your hair over the back of your seat. A good start but not even close. Here’s my list of the vilest things you can do on a plane:
1. Farting. Silence farts are bad enough, but the loud ones are the worst.
2. Singing loudly along while wearing ear phones.
3. Trying to join the Mile-High Club. No one wants to wait outside the restroom while you try to break into the club.
4. Bringing snakes (or monkeys) on board. You may have seen the movie, Snakes on a Plane; pet monkeys are just as bad while snakes AND monkeys are the worst.
5. Opening the exits. How many times has this happened to you? You’re flying along at 30,000 feet and some idiot tries to open the exit door. Really annoying, right?
6. Hinting at a fuel leak. What can be more annoying than the person who keeps asking if anyone else can smell aviation fuel flumes?
7. Wearing an “I heart ISIS” T-shirts. Not funny. Wearing a terrorist T-shirt is sure to irritate some passengers.
8. Laying across the seats. Okay, the seats don’t recline enough. That’s no excuse to lay across three seats for a nap.
9. Praying too loudly. No one is more annoying that the religious zealot who keeps praying for a safe flight at the top of his voice.
10. Having a panic attack. Just like the praying zealot, no one likes the passenger who keeps screaming, “We’re all going to die.”
If you’re a frequent flyer, I’m sure you have seen other vile things while flying. Let’s hear about them.
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1. Farting. Silence farts are bad enough, but the loud ones are the worst.
2. Singing loudly along while wearing ear phones.
3. Trying to join the Mile-High Club. No one wants to wait outside the restroom while you try to break into the club.
4. Bringing snakes (or monkeys) on board. You may have seen the movie, Snakes on a Plane; pet monkeys are just as bad while snakes AND monkeys are the worst.
5. Opening the exits. How many times has this happened to you? You’re flying along at 30,000 feet and some idiot tries to open the exit door. Really annoying, right?
6. Hinting at a fuel leak. What can be more annoying than the person who keeps asking if anyone else can smell aviation fuel flumes?
7. Wearing an “I heart ISIS” T-shirts. Not funny. Wearing a terrorist T-shirt is sure to irritate some passengers.
8. Laying across the seats. Okay, the seats don’t recline enough. That’s no excuse to lay across three seats for a nap.
9. Praying too loudly. No one is more annoying that the religious zealot who keeps praying for a safe flight at the top of his voice.
10. Having a panic attack. Just like the praying zealot, no one likes the passenger who keeps screaming, “We’re all going to die.”
If you’re a frequent flyer, I’m sure you have seen other vile things while flying. Let’s hear about them.
For e-books by me, visit http://smashwords.com/profile/view/monteranderson.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/monteranderson
Follow my blog at http://monteranderson-author.com or http://monteranderson.wordpress.com
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