I must admit that I truly enjoy watching true crime shows like Dateline, 20/20, Forensic Files and 48 Hours. Before you judge me for wasting my time, let me say there are many things I have learned from these shows. Here are a few:
Victims all seem to have similar traits. When the show interviews the best friends, family and neighbors, typically they will say that the victim was a great person. He or she would light up the room with a smile. They didn’t have an enemy in the world. I’m amazed how many people are killed by friends, family and non-enemies. They are willing to help anyone in need. They’re great fathers, mothers etc. It also seems like the majority are good looking. If you’re ugly, you can feel a lot safer. If these traits describe you, change your ways immediately, or you’re dead meat.
The neighborhoods are always safe. When interviewed, neighbors will say how safe the neighborhood is (or was)—so safe that they don’t lock their doors. I find it hard to believe that in this century there are still places where people don’t lock their doors. I’m even more surprise that people will say that on a national TV show. Might as well throw out the welcome mat for all the thieves. If you live in a neighborhood that’s crime free and doesn’t lock their doors, your best bet is to move. Your neighborhood is about to be a crime scene.
There’s usually a large life insurance policy involved or a large sum of money. If your spouse recently took out a large policy on you, beware--you could be next. Money is the root of many crime shows.
There’s usually an affair. The wife or husband (or both) is having an extramarital affair. If you discover your spouse is having an affair, best to ignore it or agree to an open marriage; better yet—join in a threesome.
There is usually something stressful going on. It may be a custody battle over the children, a contentious divorce, or something. Both parties should take up meditation—chill.
The husband (or in rare cases—the wife) committed the murder. Of course, everyone knows that, and that’s way the spouse is always suspect number one in the beginning. Investigators just need more proof. If there’s money involved, an affair and/or a custody battle over the kids; that the trifecta. The spouse definitely did it.
It’s hard to believe that perpetrators haven’t learned that there are cameras everywhere. Police will pull up security videos, videos from ATMs, gas stations, traffic lights and hotels. You can’t hide. Deal with it. If you’re planning to commit the crime, at least get your hair done and dress well. No need to look guilty on videos.
Perpetrators always make mistakes. They often include too many people in the plot, or talk to too many folks (jail mates, girlfriends, boyfriends, family). They forget that phone lines can be tapped. If you’re going to do the crime, go solo. After all, it was your idea. Don’t talk to anyone about the crime. Wear gloves at least.
Perpetrators forget about cellphones. Police can pull up phone logs to trace the location of cellphones and conversations. For your own protection, have two cellphones. Keep one cellphone hidden on your person. That way, police can find your body.
There are many more lessons to be learned from crime shows, but these will do for now.
Victims all seem to have similar traits. When the show interviews the best friends, family and neighbors, typically they will say that the victim was a great person. He or she would light up the room with a smile. They didn’t have an enemy in the world. I’m amazed how many people are killed by friends, family and non-enemies. They are willing to help anyone in need. They’re great fathers, mothers etc. It also seems like the majority are good looking. If you’re ugly, you can feel a lot safer. If these traits describe you, change your ways immediately, or you’re dead meat.
The neighborhoods are always safe. When interviewed, neighbors will say how safe the neighborhood is (or was)—so safe that they don’t lock their doors. I find it hard to believe that in this century there are still places where people don’t lock their doors. I’m even more surprise that people will say that on a national TV show. Might as well throw out the welcome mat for all the thieves. If you live in a neighborhood that’s crime free and doesn’t lock their doors, your best bet is to move. Your neighborhood is about to be a crime scene.
There’s usually a large life insurance policy involved or a large sum of money. If your spouse recently took out a large policy on you, beware--you could be next. Money is the root of many crime shows.
There’s usually an affair. The wife or husband (or both) is having an extramarital affair. If you discover your spouse is having an affair, best to ignore it or agree to an open marriage; better yet—join in a threesome.
There is usually something stressful going on. It may be a custody battle over the children, a contentious divorce, or something. Both parties should take up meditation—chill.
The husband (or in rare cases—the wife) committed the murder. Of course, everyone knows that, and that’s way the spouse is always suspect number one in the beginning. Investigators just need more proof. If there’s money involved, an affair and/or a custody battle over the kids; that the trifecta. The spouse definitely did it.
It’s hard to believe that perpetrators haven’t learned that there are cameras everywhere. Police will pull up security videos, videos from ATMs, gas stations, traffic lights and hotels. You can’t hide. Deal with it. If you’re planning to commit the crime, at least get your hair done and dress well. No need to look guilty on videos.
Perpetrators always make mistakes. They often include too many people in the plot, or talk to too many folks (jail mates, girlfriends, boyfriends, family). They forget that phone lines can be tapped. If you’re going to do the crime, go solo. After all, it was your idea. Don’t talk to anyone about the crime. Wear gloves at least.
Perpetrators forget about cellphones. Police can pull up phone logs to trace the location of cellphones and conversations. For your own protection, have two cellphones. Keep one cellphone hidden on your person. That way, police can find your body.
There are many more lessons to be learned from crime shows, but these will do for now.
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