Tips for Getting Along with Co-Workers in 2020

​Start off the new year by resolving to get along with co-workers using these helpful tips:

1. Always use the same drug dealer as your co-workers. Using a different dealer creates suspicion.
2. If you have blackmail worthy information on your boss from the New Year’s party, negotiate a pay raise for everyone not just yourself.
3. It’s considered rude to post pictures of your co-workers on porn sites without their permission.
4. If you use the office coffee pot, be sure to lick the spoon clean after each use.
5. Do not hit on the boss or children of the boss. Set higher standards; hit on the boss’s significant other.
6. If you steal office supplies, never take the last item especially toilet paper.
7. If you play games on your office computer, try to include all your co-workers.
8. If you have sex at the office, try to include all your co-workers.
9. Remember that “casual Fridays” does not mean “clothing optional”.
10. If you’re stealing funds from the company, always pay a percentage to each co-worker.
11. Never report anything to HR with giving your co-worker a chance to pay a bribe.
12. When confronted by reporters, 20/20, the FBI, or CNN always reply, “No comment.”.
13. Never loan money to co-workers for less than 20% interest.
14. Never gossip at the worksite. That’s what social media sites  are for.

If you follow these simple guidelines you should get along with your co-workers.

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