
- the trial of the Boston Marathon bomber.
- for Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, to resign or to be charged for cocaine use or both.
- the confession followed by public apology followed by “intensive rehab” of Nigella Lawson, celebrity chef.
- for Mike #Tyson to stop giving advice.
- for Alex #Baldwin to say something nice.
- for #ChrisBrown to graduate with honors from his anger management class.*
- for the trial of the San Hose State University students who put a bike lock on the neck of their roommate.
- for the entertainment industry to start taking drug abuse seriously and to start requiring random drug testing on celebrities.
- for #Congress to accomplish anything this year.
- for Congress to make passing a drug test a requirement for office.
- for #Republicans to come up with a health plan alternative.
- for #Democrats to stop chasing skirts.
- for me to make some money selling my books.
- the #SecretService to make celibacy a requirement for employment.
- for #Egypt to write a democratic constitution that separates church from state.
- for #NorthKorea to start acting like a mature country.
- for coach #DennisRodman to coach the North Korean basketball team to an Olympic gold medal (or be executed)*.
- for the Washington #Redskins to drop the name “Redskins” and change mascots. They should drop “Washington” too. I recommend a contest to pick a name.
- for some employer to admit that I am just too attractive to hire.*
- for the #NSA or #CIA to return some of my e-mails that just “disappeared” a few years ago. They know which ones.